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Difficult Parents-long

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM

Difficult Parents-long

I am just wondering if any of you have parents that meddle in your relationship and still dont treat you like you have grown up. I Know I am having major issues with my mother cause she can't do anything with my father cause he is very disabled and so she depends on me to go places with her. My fiance is very good about this but when trouble starts between my mother and I and she makes references to my marriage and to the fact that my husband should be doing this or that it gets me angry. She is now mad at me cause my husband didnt pick me up from her house cause she didn't want to drive the extra few exits to drop me off at my apartment as we were going home from shopping. My husband feels that this is the day that me and my mother hang out and why should he be chaufering me. He drops me off in the morning and it seems reasonable that she at least drives me home. My mother just feels bad for herself and thinks that everyone should be helping her out. I have dealt with this all my life and have done whatever I can to make sure everything flows smoothly, but now being married I feel that I need to be treated differently and I dont feel that she respects our marriage.
I dont know how to handle this all right now we are not talking cause she was mad that I was 'not going to ask my husband to pick me up and .. what kind of marriage do you have that you can't ask him'
I need pointers! I plan on calling her tonite and know whatever I say will set her off.

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM

Difficult Parents-long

Actually it is more that I dont feel that he should be picking me up like a chauffer especially since I was spending the day with my mother. He does plenty for me but when I am spending the day with my mother and she is driving I don't see why he has to drop my off and pick me up from her house.

I need pointers! I plan on calling her tonite and know whatever I say will set her off.

LIWeddings Archive Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM+

MEMBER SINCE: 12/69 TOTAL POSTS : 18488 WEDDING DATE: Dec 31, 1969

Posted: Nov 07, 2000 12:00 AM

Difficult Parents-long

I guess I don't feel like I know enough about this story. I would rather not put my husband out by asking him to pick me up, but what's his problem? Not offering to pick you up, he does'nt sound very considerate. Especially with the situation, forget about the consideration for your Mom. It's the consideration for you that concerns me.
I dont plan on having kids for another 4 years or so. So far we figure we will bring them up both. I would like to do that. Celebrate both holidays for both religions. The only sticky subject is if we have a boy they are usually bar mitzvahed in the Jewish faith. So that would mean the child is brought up more Jewish than Catholic. My husbands mother thinks that the child should be brought up one religion and she doesn't seem to care whether it is Jewish or catholic. SO I guess my children will be more on the jewish side but not religious. My mother doesn't like the idea of a briss so that takes care of that religious ceremony. My husband and I are pretty flexible on this. It is just dealing with our parents on the matter which makes things difficult. What do you plan on doing?
I need pointers! I plan on calling her tonite and know whatever I say will set her off.