Person who posted as Depressed

How are you doing? For some reason, I just thought of you. Hoping you are okay.

My bday is 2/10 and we have always celebrated each separately.

Please don't feel you cannot come here

You are more than welcome to come here and talk to us. I'm sure the other brides will agree. It's not always rosy for everyone else either. Reality sets in after you are married and you now have to change your lifestyles somewhat and habits. I moved in with my husband 2 years before my wedding and yes, we broke up too and we had our rough times before our wedding only because we lived together then. Had I waited to live with him until my wedding, it would have happened then. It's tough to get used to habits, thoughts, and feelings from someone else. It's a learning process. Have you sat down and asked him what is bothering him or how he is feeling. I found that if I don't raise my voice or yell, a lot more happens to my benefit. We actually went to a counselor with my husband way back when we moved in together. He moved in the same week that his brother passed away in a bad accident. Talk about TEST! It's not easy, but promise that you'll do one thing. Plan a night or day (maybe 2 or 3 hours) aside. Go off home territory. Pick up some coffee, danish and drive to the beach and sit in the car and talk, or... grab a bottle of wine, pack up some crackers and go sit at a park. Do it outdoors if possible; clears the head more and people tend to be more open. You might be surprised at what you can both accomplish when you do this.

If you are pregnant, I'm sure you do not want to be a single Mom and if your not pregnant just think of it as your first tough time as a married couple. 'through good times and bad' remember that vow.

Person who posted as Depressed

Depressed, I second Kate's posting. Please feel free to seek us out as support. Being a newlywed - being married - is tough work. We all have had and will have our difficult moments. Good thing is we have each other for support!

Did you ever see the movie 'Runaway Bride'? There was a saying. I can't remember all of it ....'I can guarantee that there will be times when one or both of us will want out of this'....after only 10 months of marriage, I know this to be true! And not because I don't love him or because he doesn't love me...but because marriage is hard work. Blending your life with another person's life is hard. No one gave us a manual with our wedding gowns and tuxes. Its hard work -

Person who posted as Depressed

Things are not better at home by any stretch. I didn't want to bother anyone basically because I feel like this board is specifically for newlyweds who are happy. I guess we have bigger issues going on than just that because last night erupted into a huge fight (there's been several small one's since the pregnancy issue) and I was finally like 'Okay, that's it. I can't take it anymore'. I told him I was done with the relationship and he didn't argue the point or try to change my mind to work on the relationship. I guess we're just two different people. My only advice to brides to be out there would be that if you have problems before you marry that somehow keep getting buried or promises are made that 'things' would change, they never will. I'm beyond depressed thinking that I completely buried my head in the sand and ignored issues that were screaming in my face before I got married because I wanted it/him soo bad. What a fool! I have no idea where to go from here....

Thank you Kate for your thoughts. Right now I feel like I can't tell/talk to anyone because I'm afraid everyone will look on me like a quitter or be disappointed:(

Person who posted as Depressed

Don't give up. You have put to much time and energy into the relationship. Sometimes men don't know what to do to make things better and it's up to us women to take care of it. Go to counseling, or have someone he trusts talk to him. Also take a step back and look at yourself, maybe he's reacting to you. You will regret not trying to make it work. Determine what it is that bothers you about the relationship and talk to him about it and see what he thinks bothers him and maybe you can work it out together.

If you are pregnant, I'm sure you do not want to be a single Mom and if your not pregnant just think of it as your first tough time as a married couple. 'through good times and bad' remember that vow.

Person who posted as Depressed

My thoughts are with you also.

Everyone has given such great advice and been so supportive and warm on this board :) Thats so great to see, total strangers opening their arms.

My advice would be - have a talk with a best friend of yours (or mom)...just talk it out, or even go for a walk, or jog or swim, something that will relax your body and your mind. Maybe a yoga class.. I find that when I do things like this, (swim for an hour) it not only revives and strengthens your spirit, but it makes you feel better as a person....) Feeling better as person will make you stronger and more confident to talk about what is bothering you about your husband and the relationship...Be the bigger person (mentally and emotionally and guide your husband to greener pastures :)