Thoughts as I approach my 1st anniversary (long)

My first anniversary is at the end of this month. I spent hours planning my wedding. Obsessing over every detail. I`ve been reliving it through my sister`s wedding plans (date May 01) and via my occassional visits to the Bride Board. I wish I had known...that although my wedding day was important, it wasn`t worth ALL the detail that I put into it and all the stress that went along with it. Because no one remembers what table cloths I had, the layout of my program, the size of my engagement ring or what song was playing when we cut the cake. They ate, drank and had a good time. In the end, they left with a favor and I had a marriage to build. I thought all that detail stuff mattered. It really didn`t - not as much as I thought it would. In hindsight, I`ve learned that building a solid home and being a good wife and a friend to my husband is much more important than being a bride. I wish someone had told me when I was planning to lighten up, not fuss so much, have a good time and focus on the bigger picture. I would have enjoyed my engagement more and not have gone through as much `withdrawl` post wedding.....Hind sight is always 20 20, isn`t it? 2 weeks ago my husband and I were dealing with a very controversal and sensitive topic on which we had drastic differing opinions. It was difficult, but we sat down for several hours, spoke honestly and freely (and loudly at points!) and in the end, found a compromise. At the end of the discussion, he said, 'I want you to know that this is one of the reasons why I married you, because no matter how difficult an issue is, we respect each other and ourselves enough to talk it through. You are my best friend and a good partner and I`m glad I married you.' As I approach my first anniversary with my new found wisdom....hearing those words from him meant more to me than any compliment I received from my guests on my wedding day. :o) I guess I'm babbling so I apologize. I`m just very thoughtful this evening and wanted to share. Anyone else experience this? We all chatted so much when we were planning but now that we`re `living it` no one posts anymore. I`m also guilty. Why is that??? Are we just too busy?

Thoughts as I approach my 1st anniversary (long)

I'm with you. During the planning I spent more time shopping for little things and engrossed in my notebook or bridal magazines than with my soon to be husband. He understood, but I wish I hadn't done that. But when I think about it, I had a such a good time planning and I probabaly wouldn't change a thing. You only get one chance to plan. I think we don't post as much, at least for me is because every time I come here, I get depressed thinking about my wedding and how it's over. I watched my wedding video last night and I can't beleive all that money and time is just wrapped up in one video. Of course we have the memories, but I can't belive it's over. I miss it. I feel so old now. And I'm only 26. For our 1 year he wants to go to Vegas (it's only 5 hours away) and get remarried at a drive thru chapel. That's what he would have wanted instead of a big wedding, so now we can have it both our ways. Not much planning to do with that, but maybe I can wear my dress agian, I'll have to think about it:)

1st anniversary (long)

Yes Karen & Brenda, I agree. KAren, I think you should post this on the engaged site too as this may be just the eye opener they need. I spent a good chunk of time planning esp. due to financial binds..and I wanted to make it personal. Funny, a week b4 the event, an usher asked us if we were going to do a program. I said no- wasn't planning it and I really just didnt have the time to do it. He told me to write up something & email it, and he would take care of the rest. I jotted soemthing down, rob added to it and our Friend printed it on beautiful paper. The youngest cousin tied them up w/ ribbon and handed them out- and I LOVE this little program to this day! ( & the baskets that I made for our guests who stayed at the hotel) It's the little things that stick out in your memories!

Feel the same as all of you.

I do feel this way as well. Although I had fun planning and made everything basically myself, I too feel it has very little to do with the sacrament. My sister is getting married in 2 days, yup this Friday. Told us 5 weeks ago. We had a small quaint little shower, bought $31.00 dresses at Lord & Taylor outlet, She booked a photographer for 2 hours for $395.00, DJ - $700. I made all of her invitations, thank yous and table cards and her sit-down dinner will cost $35.00 a person! All the planning I did for 2 years and the money we spent (not too much) and we just put her wedding together in 5 weeks for under $3,000.00. Just goes to show that you don't need to do all the glitz and glamour. I loved my wedding and the day, but I see my sister and her finace and they are happy, not as stressed, not financially burdened at this point and very in love and having fun. There was no time to stress, change minds, add extras, etc. My future brother-in-law came over last night to pick up the table cards and told us that he is singing a song to my sister at the wedding 'Greatest fan of your life'. He played the song for us and I cried as this will mean so much more than a DJ, Photographer, etc. Happy 1st Anniversary to all of you! I have 2 months to go!

Feel the same as all of you.

I agree. I've tried to post a response 3 times and haven't succeeded. I really enjoyed the planning and am glad I put so much into it. I look back on the day and remember all the little touches that made the day ours. We had a great day and are glad we put our personal touches into the day. I know no one noticed all those little things but those are what made them personal and made the day special for us. Congratulations to all of you on your anniversaries, I have a couple of months to go. Cherish the memories as you continue to build a wonderful marriage. They represent the beginning of something wonderful. Teresa

Feel the same as all of you.

....but I've only been married a few months. We are still working out all the 'kinks' of first time living together and being married. I'm glad we moved in together the week before the wedding. I think we work harder at solving problems as opposed to just walking away if we weren't married. I'm still waiting for my video so that I can relive the day...I can't wait. Happy A-Day. What are you going to get your hubby for your anniversary?

Feel the same as all of you.

Sorry its been a while since I've posted. We hit a rough patch - had a death in the family and a few parent illnesses but things have calmed down somewhat. Our anniversary is tomorrow! We started celebrating tonight - too much wine I think as my beloved is now asleep! LOL. First anniversary is paper. We bought ourselves plane tix for a vacation next month and I am writing him a love letter. Nothing dramatic, but then again its not our style. Just happy. :o) I too can't wait for my video. I was late in getting my my baby photos and such. It should be done next month!

Thoughts as I approach my 1st anniversary (long)

Hello girls, i feel the same as all you , instead of me missing the planning of my wedding, i decided to get into the weding planning business, and I love it! but most of all I love being married! Right after we marriedwe had this new respect for each other, i can't explain it but i think you all might know what i mean.! cogratulations on all your anniversaries!. my husband and I are going to Turks & Caicos Islands for our anniversary!

A JuneBride (I'm glad I read this)

I just decided to go into this site and see what you girls talk about after the wedding. I am going to be so depressed when this is over. It really hit home when you all said that you put so much time and effort into this for one day and people don't notice those little details that you take days to think about. I almost don't want our day to come b/c I don't want it to be over. I never thought I'd get this into it. I have really loved the planning - but I hope I don't regret all the money being spent... It is so easy to get wrapped into it. I should of read this site 10 months ago... it's too late for me now - I've gone crazy and got way to wrapped into the whole thing. I'll be joining you girls in 2 and 1/2 months - not really looking forward to it... I know that's wrong but I have really loved this.

A JuneBride (I`m glad I read this)

Try to stay in the moment and enjoy the next 2 1/2 months. It`s such a great time and if you worry about how you`ll feel later, you can miss what today has to bring. Try to do the little details for yourself but I will say I did a lot of extra touches and 95% of them were complimented, many times over. I don`t regret a single thing I did to make it more special, I enjoyed the time I was making & wrapping favors, making placecards etc. I`ve been back to work for 4 days and I still can`t quite get it together but I think that`s normal. With major focus on such a big one-time event as a wedding, it should be no surprise that it takes time to readjust so I`m allowing myself that. Keep enjoying your planning!

You can channel all that energy into your marriage!

Sounds like you've been working hard and I'm sure it will all pay off! :o) Not to worry - you're in the home stretch! I did feel a bit of a let down after the honeymoon - I liked being a bride. But I LOVE being a wife. At times it can be difficult, but the rewards are so meaningful. Its wonderful to watch my marriage grow - channel your energies there after the wedding. You won't be bored - I promise! Life is a journey - not a destination. Your wedding day is not the end - but a beautiful beginning! Enjoy! :o)