Walmart Funnies!

ok lets try this again. my grandpa sent me an email and i figured i would share it with you! its soo dead at work im gunna try and get more funnies up.

there are soo many, i can go on and on.

enjoy


Oh hey it’s Doll Face back again! I see she is still holding that grudge against the world, and that seems to be really working out well for her because it definitely doesn’t look like she has a dusty mop on her head.

California


I was just wondering to myself what it would look like if the Dark Knight version of Batman and the nurse Joker had a baby…..which they neglected.

Michigan


Look at the *** on that! He must work out….and the one in blue shorts isn’t bad either.

California



Listen mom, I know the Pull-Ups tag line is “I’m a big kid now” but (1) you don’t have to show that off to everyone and (2) I think we knew he was a big kid when he drove his F-250 up to Walmart.

Utah


At first glance I was unsure whether she was a classy lady or a ho fo’ sho, but then I saw the tramp stamp which is basically the ho equivalent to the FDA’s seal of approval.

Texas


You know how when someone sees an old unkempt single lady and refers to them as a “crazy cat lady”? It’s because unfortunately they actually exist!

California


Thanks for giving us all a heads up that it’s a veritable jungle down there!

Arkansas


Listen, looking back, the whole “crusader” thing didn’t really pan out for Christians in the PR department and I don’t even let the guys wearing ties and short sleeve dress shirts in my house, so I doubt I’m gonna hear you out on how to find Jesus.

Unknown


It looks like she intentionally pulled over shirt over her babe whale tail to let everyone know that she’s down to party.

California


Nausea, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!

Arkansas


Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, spare me the pain and just wake me when it’s done having it’s way with me.

Texas


Well, fortunately for you, your side-titty-roll peep hole distracts us from your pants. Unfortunately for us, you have a side-titty-roll peep hole.

Oklahoma


I also love the feeling of hard plastic on my bare ***, which is why I pull my pants down & thong-roll my underwear on roller coasters….now that’s a rush!

Texas


Are you still waiting for a call back from your audition as a recurring role on Blossom?

Unknown


Someone go call Guy Fieri and the Food Network because I think we just found our Ultimate Tailgater! By the way, is she going exceptionally fast or is her hair just done crazy to make it look like she is flying?

Texas


Is it called a tube top because it makes you body look like a tube of sausage?

Virginia


Well if it’s soft enough for an angel, then it’s soft enough for her angel.

Virginia


Maybe you should reconsider having sex with the Tasmanian Devil.

Texas


This grocery list looks like something I drunkenly jotted down at 3am….with the exception of the atrocious spelling errors of course, because even hammered drunk I know how to spell “castle”.

Virginia


Listen, I know most girls think their hair is the ****, but using toilet paper as a tie is taking that a bit too literal.

Wisconsin


Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…..they make portable gravy now?

Arkansas


I guess you have one of those built-in hand warming pouches that quarterbacks wear…lucky…

South Carolina


Listen pal, sometimes playing it cool doesn’t work. There are some situations, like this one, where you should just high-tail it the hell out of there with your head low.

Texas

Re: Walmart Funnies!

it worked this time!!!!!

Re: Walmart Funnies!

it's amazing how people can leave their houses looking that way!!!

Re: Walmart Funnies!

...and this is why the world hates America.

Re: Walmart Funnies!