What went wrong????

It's not even a year after the wedding and I think the marriage is falling apart. I may be reading into his mood, but I feel like I am picking up that vibe from him. He says things like we have the same boring conversations we don't do anyhting. He likes it when he gets out of the house on his own. He doesn't want to stay home and watch tv, but he doesn't want to go see a movie either! I'm wondering if the 'honeymoon' was over before it ever got started. I know we got wrapped up in the wedidng planning and everything else that follows. But I guess now that we are not busy like before, we are kind of bored or boring. Is this suppose to happen before a 1 year anniversary? I thought this could happen to couples married for 10 years. Maybe we made a mistake, a very big mistake!!! If this does happen to newlyweds, what do you do to get around it???

You're really very kind to have posted all that info. The brochures won't be necessary but I do appreciate the gesture!

Glad to hear re: St. Lucia. It is one of the other island's we were looking at. I HATE humidity and wouldn't be very happy if I went there. So you've been super helpful on many many levels!

What went wrong????

I know for myself, I was fully engulfed in the wedding planning to the point of obession. Alot of the issues we had were temporarily buried under tulle samples and such which in retrospect doesn't mean a thing. I'm the last person that should be giving advice, but my only suggestion would be that you look back to before you were engaged and really think about what you did with your time together. If you had something that was fun and interesting to do together, maybe you could do that or perhaps seek out the company of other recently married or engaged couples and try not to spend soo much time along watching the clock tick by. I know the winter months don't give you much motivation to do anything but maybe you could check out some indoor events at the coloseium together (home expo, monster truck show, whatever), or do some day trip type things out east or go to a museum in the city. Anything to spice things up. Sometimes we (the ladies) have to be the ones to be creative, especially if there is a slump kicking in.

Good luck. I'll be thinking of you....

time now to develop

Now that the rush of planning the big day is over, and you seem to have settled in to either an apt or house, you will have more 'free' time.

This is the time that both of you an go back to the fun things you did before...or start exploring mutual interests: biking, computers, politics, bowling, museums, trade shows, etc.

We are starting to hit this point...and have become homebodies. we are still sprucing up the home...but have FINALLY recieved the living rm furniture we ordered months ago. ow we need to paint ( not easy to do in the winte).

V. good advice, Depressed

Its easy to forget all the fun things you did before you were married. All the things that made you happy to be together.

There is a transition period. Be patient. Try and remember who you (both of you) were before the big day & recapture that life. Sometimes the answers to the hard questions can be found by going back to the basics.

What went wrong????

I know things have slowed down for us too. I think I am lucky cause my husband doesn't seem to minf hanging around the house.. he was always like that. I think it is nice to have friends to hang around with. I notice now that we hang out with friends more often then we used to. It may be partially because when we didn't live together (before we were married) we saw eachother less so we didn't mind the two days alone. Now we see eachother every day .
Things do slow down and I don't think that can really be avoided.. But personally I would much rather this than be in the wedding planning process.
Also maybe you can plan your weekends in advance and think of good ideas and talking to him about it.

find some hobbies together *NM*

the daily routine

My husband and I lived together for several years before we were married and we went through our months of adjusting to sharing space.