WWYD?

Please don't quote because I will probably be taking it down later...

So MIL called me with the terrible news that I asked you girls for the prayers for (BTW Thank you so much). She wants us to come over tonight so she can sit down and tell DH about what's going on. I HATE keeping things like this from DH. It's killing me that I have to pretend like nothing is going on and then drop a bomb like this in front of his parents, and then he'll find out that I know already. I'm also scared he's going to lose it in front of his parents which with news like this, the thing to put them over the edge is to see their child upset.

Now, if it were you. Would you tell your DH so he is upset with you and then this way doesn't cry or break down in front of his parents? Do you think your DH would be mad if you knew ALL DAY and didn't say anything to him? I'm stuck and don't know what to do. MIL said she doesn't want to tell him on the phone so she wants us to come over. However, MIL could have just easily told me 'let Franky know and then come over and we'll talk about it all tonight'. I know it's his mom and dad but I'm just stuck right now and who else to ask for help then my LIW girls.

So WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

this is really tough, and im sorry that your MIL put you in this position... i can only tell you what i would do...

I would absolutely tell him... you dont need a reason other than the fact that hes your husband...

Re: WWYD?

I would tell him too

Re: WWYD?

A tough position to be put in......

I can only say that If it were my DH - I know he would want me to tell him (and vice versa)... especially knowing it would further upset someone - he'd want to be composed enough to support/comfort them.

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by AngnShaun

this is really tough, and im sorry that your MIL put you in this position... i can only tell you what i would do...

I would absolutely tell him... you dont need a reason other than the fact that hes your husband...

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ITA on both points. I would find the right time and let him know.

ETA: She could have just asked you to come over tonight and relayed that there is something that needs to be addressed ASAP. Not tell you and then have you keep a secret from him.

Re: WWYD?

I think it really depends on what actually happened ... does your DH know that *something* happened? Is he prepared for bad news later on? I'd definitely make sure he's ready for bad news ... i'd probably end up telling him the actual news too, but maybe not ...

i hope whatever it is ends up ok!!!

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by AngnShaun


I would absolutely tell him... you dont need a reason other than the fact that hes your husband...

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ITA

Re: WWYD?

That's a really tough situation...I think I would want to tell him but it really depends on what it is. Is there a reason based on the news that she wants to tell him? Maybe she told you first so that you're prepared to be there for him (depending on what it is). Do the other people coming over tonight know what happened? If he's going to be the only one to find out, I'd tell him...It's a really tough situation. My only reason for maybe not saying anything is because there might be a reason your MIL wants to tell him on his own.

I hope whatever it is, everything turns out okay

Re: WWYD?

Thanks girls. He's the only one that is going to know what's going on. I think I might tell him because he really thinks we're just going over there for dinner tonight. He's going to be devasted and I REALLY hate not telling him. I think if I tell him I'm going to have to tell his mom that I had to tell him and to please not put me in this kind of situation again. They found out yesterday that his dad is sick but they don't know the extent of it yet. I just don't want him to be sideswiped with this.

My heart is breaking for DH!

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Thanks girls. He's the only one that is going to know what's going on. I think I might tell him because he really thinks we're just going over there for dinner tonight. He's going to be devasted and I REALLY hate not telling him. I think if I tell him I'm going to have to tell his mom that I had to tell him and to please not put me in this kind of situation again. They found out yesterday that his dad is sick but they don't know the extent of it yet. I just don't want him to be sideswiped with this.

My heart is breaking for DH!

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im totally flabbergasted that your MIL would tell you and expect you not to tell him... truly... i dont understand

Re: WWYD?

Ang - I'm not. It's like she forgets we're married and she's not #1 in his life. It's terrible to think that she's diong this to see his reaction herself and to comfort him herself but I think that's what she's doing...SUCK!

Re: WWYD?

I can't believe MIL put you in this position. Is he at work? Is that why she didn't want to say anything? I think I'd have to tell him before we went over there.

ETA: I read your update just now... why did she tell you last night? I don't understand. Why didn't she tell her SON last night instead of you?

Re: WWYD?

tell him.

Re: WWYD?

Jill - she called me this morning at 7AM. She didn't want to tell him over the phone (but she told me over the phone so I don't get that). They knew last night but again didn't want to say anything to us. I don't know why she told me and I'm totally stuck. I want to tell him but I'm not sure.

Do you guys think I should tell him and tell him that his mom will give him more details but I just want to prepare him? Then I'll just tell her that I was too upset not to tell him and I didn't want him to walk in blind sided? I don't want to upset her with what she is going through with her husband and it is HER son but I'm lying to my husband and that's not ok with me. It's not like I bought a new pair of shoes and didn't tell him, this is his dad!

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Ang - I'm not. It's like she forgets we're married and she's not #1 in his life. It's terrible to think that she's diong this to see his reaction herself and to comfort him herself but I think that's what she's doing...SUCK!

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Even if that is the case... theres still no reason to tell you first... its like shes testing you!

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Ang - I'm not. It's like she forgets we're married and she's not #1 in his life. It's terrible to think that she's diong this to see his reaction herself and to comfort him herself but I think that's what she's doing...SUCK!

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Even if that is the case... theres still no reason to tell you first... its like shes testing you!

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RIGHT! That's EXACTLY how I'm looking at it too and I feel bad thinking that but it's true.

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by ourwedding9510

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Ang - I'm not. It's like she forgets we're married and she's not #1 in his life. It's terrible to think that she's diong this to see his reaction herself and to comfort him herself but I think that's what she's doing...SUCK!

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Even if that is the case... theres still no reason to tell you first... its like shes testing you!

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RIGHT! That's EXACTLY how I'm looking at it too and I feel bad thinking that but it's true.

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its so obvious... maybe because im in a really terrible mood today, and would welcome a confrontation, but i would call her and tell her that you are going to tell him!!!

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by ourwedding9510

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by ourwedding9510

Ang - I'm not. It's like she forgets we're married and she's not #1 in his life. It's terrible to think that she's diong this to see his reaction herself and to comfort him herself but I think that's what she's doing...SUCK!

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Even if that is the case... theres still no reason to tell you first... its like shes testing you!

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RIGHT! That's EXACTLY how I'm looking at it too and I feel bad thinking that but it's true.

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its so obvious... maybe because im in a really terrible mood today, and would welcome a confrontation, but i would call her and tell her that you are going to tell him!!!

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So you think I should call her and tell her that I'm telling him? Or wait to see her and tell her? I just want him to know and I dont want him to be upset in front of them which will make them more upset.

Re: WWYD?

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Posted by ourwedding9510

So you think I should call her and tell her that I'm telling him? Or wait to see her and tell her? I just want him to know and I dont want him to be upset in front of them which will make them more upset.

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you should call her and tell her that you are not ok knowing this without him knowing and youre going to tell him... maybe she will say no and she will call him herself... if not then you might get a clue as to her motives for telling you and not him...

Re: WWYD?

I would just tell Franky that your Mom called and dropped a bomb ob you and told you not to say anything and you don't want to lie or keep a secret from him and just tell him. Who cares what your MIL may think??? This is your husband and his father.