Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I went through this as well - I asked her no less then 10 times!!

She kept telling me she doesnt know who she is inviting but she guesses its about 75 - so I have planned everything around that...


THEN - she hands me a list of 130 people!!!!! WHAT?!?!??!


SO I send everything out the calligrapher - and then when I get everything back - she starts adding more people! Just this week (my wedding is in 6 weeks) she asked me for a few more invitations.

INSIST on a list - and if you dont get it from her - have your FH talk to her to get it

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

that is completely unacceptable.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

That drives me up the wall. I sent out my family's STD's one month ago and I can't send out FH side because FMIL won't give the list. It's driving me up the wall. All they have to do is give me a list.. I'm doing everything else. I can't stand procrastination. Drives me up the wall.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

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THEN - she hands me a list of 130 people!!!!! WHAT?!?!??!

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um is she paying for the wedding??????

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would be. Definitely start bothering the now at least for an initial list, it will be so much better for you. My wedding is in October, and I was asking for the final, absolute final lists with addresses for May and din't wind up getting them until a few weeks ago. And I've been spending the entire week getting it together and proofing the list for the calligrapher. I think that September is definitely ample time and this way they can add on later. Don't let her wait until december!!!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

My FMIL had no problem getting me the list, but CUTTING the list was a nightmare!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would be very annoyed with this! Give her a deadline in Sept (or whenever YOU want) and if she doesn't complete it by then -- too bad. Seriously -- it almost sounds like she's deliberately trying to be annoying because how does she know that she WON'T be done by Sept? That's still 2 months away!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

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Posted by JimmysBride

I would be very annoyed with this! Give her a deadline in Sept (or whenever YOU want) and if she doesn't complete it by then -- too bad. Seriously -- it almost sounds like she's deliberately trying to be annoying because how does she know that she WON'T be done by Sept? That's still 2 months away!

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I agree, 2 months is plenty of time to come up with a guest list!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would definately!

Let her know, nicely how important it is to you that she does it sooner so you can do all the other planning stuff. I think she should understand, if not, have your FI talk to her.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

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Posted by JZNCK

i mean am I freaking out for no reason, or is December late to have a guest list for a march wedding..

I will need invites/ calligrapher I'll be rushed I think

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That is too late. Tell her the time schedule -

Marriage - March 2005
RSVP date - Feb 2005
Mail out invites - Dec2004/Jan 2005

Don't forget you'll have to have your invites ordered ahead of time. Tell your FMIL you need her list by Sept.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

My FMIL gave me bits and pieces of guest lists over the course of a 7 months (not without significant nagging, either).

She left people off the list and gave me incorrect addresses for some.

For Example: she listed her cousin (a grown man in his 40s) as living at home with his parents. I thought it was weird, but I didn't question. In conversation with him he told me that he lives in CT and he's a DR! We would've sent him his invite as Mr. to his parents' house!

Oh, and get this: She left off her OWN BROTHER's Live-in Girlfriend. He's apparently been with her for years! I didn't even know this woman EXISTED until last Sunday when we were over there for a 4th of July BBQ!!!!!

You have every right to be annoyed. Go get that list!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Maybe you could try to put one together w/ your FH ........just to get a rough estimate for now ?? - He has to know the bulk of the people being invited, even if he forgets some here or there, at least you'll have a CLUE. - But i'd be annoyed too!!

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

how annoying I think it's funny, but then again, I'm like ***??? I told FI to tell her, that we need the list by October the Latest.. December????!!!!?? OMG, what is up with her?? thanks girls.. I'll keep you updated

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would def. be annoyed! Like you said, how can you prepare your budget if you don't know how many people she plans to invite.
Tell her you need a 1st draft ASAP! She can always add or take away people later on....

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Like others have said, the best way to go might be to give her a deadline. Also, give her the benefit of the doubt - she might think she is giving you enough time, but if you nicely point out that you need to know sooner (at least within a 5 or so person range) it will help you in all of your planning.

Maybe you can have your FH deal with her? That was my answer to FMIL BS.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

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Posted by JZNCK

I like to get things done.. i want a guest list.. I want to know how many people we're having, who we're having, how much money we owe etc.. I asked my FMIL for her guest list as soon as she can (we've been engaged for 1 year) and I meant like September, not tomorrow!! and she said that she's not sure who she is inviting, so she'll have the guest list to us by DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DECEMBER??? That is only 3 months before the WEDDING!!!!!!! I have to get invites, plan out my budget in DECEMBER??? UGGHH.. Would you be annoyed????????????????????

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if you have been engaged a year and i'm sure she knew the date you picked, there is no reason at all she shouldn't have it to you in a month and a half. put your foot down and tell her you need it. no reason at all for the emoticon, i just think its really cute.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

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if you have been engaged a year and i'm sure she knew the date you picked, there is no reason at all she shouldn't have it to you in a month and a half. put your foot down and tell her you need it. no reason at all for the emoticon, i just think its really cute.

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LOL

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Yes it is too late.
I tried ordering invitations 3 months before my wedding and it was too late to get the ones I wanted (my fault no one elses).

You need it NOW!!!!!!!!!!
I had mine from FMIL 2 months after we were engaged. What about you save the dates? Don't you need it for them.

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

She gave me the names for the std's but it was only for the out of towners!!!! It makes me feel like she doesn't want to invite anyone

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

well tell her that the invitation lady says you need to order invites 5 months in advance.. thats what they told me.
you need time incase they make a mistake, to address them, to stuff them, mail them and get rsvps back....