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Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!
ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!
jtgarsik
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:26 AM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:26 AM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Posted by anneandchris
CALL HER! It doesn't matter that she didn't seek you out -- infact nothing else matters right now.
A card, e-mail or text isn't enough IMO.
i agree.
sept08ihope
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:44 AM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:44 AM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
i should def. CALL and then send flowers and maybe even ask if she would like you to attend the funeral
jaep129
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:54 AM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:54 AM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Posted by wundmoretime
Send a sympathy card to the family. Take the high road.
Agree a card is all you need. My father passed away and girls I had a huge falling out with came to the wake. I would of rather just a card b/c I did not want to ever see them especially then. I was actully mad they came. JMO
Jsquared279
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 02:48 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 02:48 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
I would def send a sympathy card and or go to the viewing. No matter what has happened in the past she will appreciate you thinking of her and honoring her mother. It is the right thing to do. HTH
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:25 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:25 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
I just came back from the post office. I sent her a card and wrote her a little note. I went to my church and lit a candle and said a prayer for her mom. I believe the wake/service already happened.Regardless of this whole wedding fight we got into nothing else matter right now but the loss of her mother. I sent a card rather than calling, maybe she would perfer not to see me.
Thank you for all the replies! You girls are amazing!
jessnstu08
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:28 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:28 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Posted by yelley77
If you were really good friends, I'd call her. She probably needs you.
ITA.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:31 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:31 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
I'm still trying to find out what happened. I know that her mom wasn't sick or anything. The more I think about it maybe it was something with her mom and she couldn't tell me..She should get the card tomorrow or Friday...I will let you all know what happens!
MrsD71208
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:55 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:55 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Send a symnpathy card AND call her. Email and text is way too impersonal for a once close friend. I am sure you would want the same if the shoe were on the other foot!
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:58 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 03:58 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
I did think about calling but I don't think it's a good idea..I sent her a card, I'll see if anything comes of it!It always takes a tragedy to get us back together...
Mrs. Bernabe
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:14 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:14 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Posted by yelley77
If you were really good friends, I'd call her. She probably needs you.
I completely agree.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:18 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:18 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
I would if I could get the courage up to do it..I know her..she just hang up on me! I just know her!!!
emomma17
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:26 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:26 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
If you guys were good friends I would pick the phone up and call her, especially at a time like this. This is just my opinion but in certain circumstances a text or email is just not the way to go.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:28 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 04:28 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Posted by emomma17
If you guys were good friends I would pick the phone up and call her, especially at a time like this. This is just my opinion but in certain circumstances a text or email is just not the way to go.
no I'm not e-mailing her or texting her...too tacky! I am gonna give it a few days..till the weekand before I decide what the next step I should do.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 05:31 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 05:31 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Just got a home a little while ago and told my MIL about what happened and she said I did the right thing..I told her that I think my other friend did not tell me about what happened because maybe my ex friend didn't want me there or thought it was akward...if I knew when it was I would of went to the wake to repay my respects.
MELABELLA82
Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:12 PM+

Posted: Nov 19, 2008 11:12 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
no matter what happened between you two, you should def reach out to her to send your condolences.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 20, 2008 12:30 AM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 20, 2008 12:30 AM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!
Everyone today has told me that I did the right thing!
dutchessev
Posted: Nov 20, 2008 09:41 AM+

Posted: Nov 20, 2008 09:41 AM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE!!!!
Send a Card
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 26, 2008 01:01 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 26, 2008 01:01 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE!!!!
I got the mail a little while ago and I got a card from my ex-bestfriend. She simply stated that she thanked me for thinking of her and she is lost without her but is trying to find her way. She quoted and said' As you know she was my world'DH brought it up to me maybe this is why she was behaving the way she was during the planning of our wedding. I still can't believe her mom is gone...I wish I was able to pay my respects.
What happens now anything? Do I contact her again? Maybe I am feeling like this out of pity maybe thats what she thinks. I keep thinking if she wanted me at that wake she would of contacted me. Allot of people said maybe she thought you still look at her myspace page even though it was private and was hoping you would see that. My sister told me to send a card thats it cause if it wasn't for her mom passing away you would of never thought to contact her.
I'm still confused..as what to do next, if I should do anything or let things be....
anneandchris
Posted: Nov 26, 2008 01:21 PM+

Posted: Nov 26, 2008 01:21 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!
Posted by sweetdoublenn
I got the mail a little while ago and I got a card from my ex-bestfriend. She simply stated that she thanked me for thinking of her and she is lost without her but is trying to find her way. She quoted and said' As you know she was my world'
DH brought it up to me maybe this is why she was behaving the way she was during the planning of our wedding. I still can't believe her mom is gone...I wish I was able to pay my respects.
What happens now anything? Do I contact her again? Maybe I am feeling like this out of pity maybe thats what she thinks. I keep thinking if she wanted me at that wake she would of contacted me. Allot of people said maybe she thought you still look at her myspace page even though it was private and was hoping you would see that. My sister told me to send a card thats it cause if it wasn't for her mom passing away you would of never thought to contact her.
I'm still confused..as what to do next, if I should do anything or let things be....
Personally at this point I would probably pick up the phone or write a letter -- not a card but an good old letter. Let her know that no matter you are there for her. I wouldn't call pity I would call it putting things in prespective but whatever you do don't mention your wedding or ask if that is why she was acting that way. But then again if you don't want to be her friend (because it could possibly lead to a makeup) then leave where it is.
sweetdoublenn
Posted: Nov 26, 2008 04:30 PM+

sweetdoublenn
MEMBER SINCE: 10/07
TOTAL POSTS : 3605
WEDDING DATE: Sep 12, 2008
WEDDING LOCATION: Newburgh, NY
Posted: Nov 26, 2008 04:30 PM
Re: ADVICE PLEASE....NOW AN UPDATE..READ MY NEW REPLY!!!!
This thought has crossed my mind already. But allot of people are telling me 'think of what she did to you during the planning of the wedding' 'think how your best friend of 18 years was not there on your day nor in the wedding' I am not one to hold a grudge but something like this makes me realize life is short..Welcome New Vendors
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