Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I was married about a month ago and after a year and half planning my dream wedding I hardly remember it. I had so many family issues going on I was so nervous I could hardly eat the week of my wedding. The 2 to 3 months prior the wedding I had cut most alcohol (besides and occasional glass of red) and was on a pretty strict diet/work out regimen. The day of the wedding came and I was so excited to be in the bridal suite getting ready and spending time with my best friends (from all over the country) I indulged in a few glasses of champagne and a glass of white wine. I had very little eat...but I felt fine...just nervous and giddy. The ceremony was beautiful and went off with out a hitch...my new hubby and I were ecstatic that the day had finally arrived and we were married!!! But then came the reception...our first dance was great (what I recall, and what I've been told) but I can hardly remember it. I can hardly remember my first dance with my father. I can hardly remember the night...there was some talk that I was 'too' drunk (mostly by the mother in law and a few girls that are dating friends of my husband). But I look fine in the the pictures and video and my true friends have reassured me that I was fine and even though I seemed a little tipsy towards the end of the night (we had a reception that lasted until midnight) I didn't do anything wrong or inappropriate. I'm just having a really hard time with the fact that this momentous occasion in my husband and my lives is a fuzzy memory for me. I feeling depressed that the day is over. I keep thinking of all the little things I would have done differently. I'm really feeling so much remorse. Not over my marriage, but over the wedding. It was so beautiful and we put so much, time, effort and money into it but it passed in a blink of the eye and no one seems to want to reminisce with me about it...I just don't know why I am feeling so unhappy. I keep blaming the fact that I didn't eat and I drank wine (not very smart)...but why would that still be upsetting me a month later. Oy vey!!!! Does anyone else feel similar? I'm new here but I thought I'd give this a try...see if anyone else feels/has felt like they are in the same boat.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

Im not married yet but I totally get where ur coming from. That is one of my fears. I want to have a couple of drinks at my wedding but I'm afraid I might get too tipsy to enjoy everything.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I think having a few drinks at your own wedding celebration is 100% acceptable...just make sure you actually eat and drink water :). From my experience every time I didn't have a drink in my hand someone noticed and handed me one...so maybe hold a club soda with lemon or lime. It will look like a cocktail but you'll just be downing water. I wish I would have utilized that 'trick' ha! I'm sure you will be fine though.

Anyway, I was doing some more reading about post wedding depression. It apparently is more real than I would have thought. Maybe that's my deal...I wanted ever thing to be perfect and as perfect as everything looked...the expectations I had for my family, guests and many friends were not met. I only have myself to blame for that I suppose. It was a lot to handle and I felt somewhat alone. I had great bmaids there by my side but my husband and I were separated for much of the night. I think we danced together about 3 times the whole evening. So that is another suggestion I have. Make sure you make if clear to your husband to be that you are going to need his emotional support on your wedding day. It's easy to get pulled in different directions when you are throwing what is basically the biggest party of your life...

My husband still doesn't really get that. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. But he thinks it is very normal for a bride and a groom to each 'work the room' and mingle...my thoughts are that we should have been mingling together...tell your man you want him by your side...

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

that's all great advice. i barely drank at my sisters wedding and it was still a blur! i too have family issues that i know will make me stressed! so a - i won't be eating leading up bc i'll be stressed and b - i'll need a drink at the wedding before the ceremony!

my big fear tho is that i won't remember it. i honestly want to have like 2 glasses of champagne the whole night. 1 before the cermony and 1 at reception.

as far as mingling, i want to make sure FH knows I want to 'work the room' together!

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by J79

that's all great advice. i barely drank at my sisters wedding and it was still a blur! i too have family issues that i know will make me stressed! so a - i won't be eating leading up bc i'll be stressed and b - i'll need a drink at the wedding before the ceremony!

my big fear tho is that i won't remember it. i honestly want to have like 2 glasses of champagne the whole night. 1 before the cermony and 1 at reception.

as far as mingling, i want to make sure FH knows I want to 'work the room' together!

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I barely had 2 drinks at my wedding this past May and it was a blur to me, too. Don't worry, I think it's the nature of the day, not that you drank too much. Just be glad you didn't do anything crazy and don't beat yourself up over it. You have video and pictures to remember everything by!

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I have been putting alot of thought into this topic as well. I love wine and champagne but dont want to go overboard. I dont plan on drinking hard liquor at all but enought wine and i am done. Hopefully I wont be to nervous to eat and will be able to get something down to mix with the wine. I think holding a cup of seltzer is a good idea. I also thought of drinking momosas all day because that really has no effect on me and totally holding off on the wine

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by Panamasweet

I have been putting alot of thought into this topic as well. I love wine and champagne but dont want to go overboard. I dont plan on drinking hard liquor at all but enought wine and i am done. Hopefully I wont be to nervous to eat and will be able to get something down to mix with the wine. I think holding a cup of seltzer is a good idea. I also thought of drinking momosas all day because that really has no effect on me and totally holding off on the wine

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we def will need to force ourselves to eat! i dont eat when i'm nervous, stressed, anxious, etc...but i know i will have to force myself! def don't need to get dizzy and pass out from not eating nor have alchohol get to me on an empty stomach

i read somewhere to have at least a banana the morning of....

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by J79

that's all great advice. i barely drank at my sisters wedding and it was still a blur! i too have family issues that i know will make me stressed! so a - i won't be eating leading up bc i'll be stressed and b - i'll need a drink at the wedding before the ceremony!

my big fear tho is that i won't remember it. i honestly want to have like 2 glasses of champagne the whole night. 1 before the cermony and 1 at reception.

as far as mingling, i want to make sure FH knows I want to 'work the room' together!

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I barely had 2 drinks at my wedding this past May and it was a blur to me, too. Don't worry, I think it's the nature of the day, not that you drank too much. Just be glad you didn't do anything crazy and don't beat yourself up over it. You have video and pictures to remember everything by!

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ITA!! I think the wedding day is pretty much a blur for every bride, whether she drinks or not. There's so much going on, it goes by soooo fast. Don't worry too much about it

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

As you said, post-wedding depression is a very real thing ... we spend so much time planning our day that it almost becomes our lives ... and when the day is over and we have nothing else to plan, we get depressed about it.

You didn't do anything wrong and you're not wrong for having fun and drinking at your wedding!

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I barely drank anything at my wedding, and the whole day is a blur! It just went SO fast, and everything was so busy that we don't really have time to focus on it.

Once I started talking to 1 person, someone else would pull me away. I really wish it wasn't such a blur cause it was so much fun lol.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

i've heard that the wedding day is a blur for most brides. there is so much going on and so many emotions being felt. i think it's natural that you feel the way you do, but i wouldn't stress about it. you have the pictures and video to look back on and relive it whenever you want

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I am so afraid of drinking too much at my wedding too... I know my inability to say 'no' to a glass of wine or champagne...

Last May, my friend got married... and she too has the same problem I do... and Every time I saw her with a drink in her hand, I took it and gave her a glass of water.... This way at least I knew she was staying hydrated and not going overboard...

She has promised to do the same for me, so I'm hoping between she and I... it'll be ok.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by J79

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Posted by Panamasweet

I have been putting alot of thought into this topic as well. I love wine and champagne but dont want to go overboard. I dont plan on drinking hard liquor at all but enought wine and i am done. Hopefully I wont be to nervous to eat and will be able to get something down to mix with the wine. I think holding a cup of seltzer is a good idea. I also thought of drinking momosas all day because that really has no effect on me and totally holding off on the wine

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we def will need to force ourselves to eat! i dont eat when i'm nervous, stressed, anxious, etc...but i know i will have to force myself! def don't need to get dizzy and pass out from not eating nor have alchohol get to me on an empty stomach

i read somewhere to have at least a banana the morning of....

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I dont really like bananas but i am willing to eat it if it will save the day. I never thought i would have to force myself to eat. Food and I are besties

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

This has been a pretty touchy subject with me too...I was drinking champagne all day and night, and I was holding it well...then came the last hour and a half of my wedding, when I decided to take about 7 shots of tequilla (no joke)...I didn't want to leave the RH (which I remember just sitting at the table eating dessert and still drinking, pretty funny) but as we were leaving we were having problems with one of FH's groomsmen (a friend that he has known for years, and psychologically not well!) who wanted to come home with us and stay over the night! (he didn't end up staying the night...I flipped out over that..and continued to cry when we got home in our bed because I was so drunk...I don't even know why I was so hysterical, I was just too drunk! I would have never acted that way if I just didn't take those shots at the end of the night...I could have enjoyed the rest of the night with my husband and instead I was a drunk mess
I really wish I would not have taken all those shots, something just came over me, probably because I was sad it was almost over and I didn't cry all day! when emotions are running wild like that on your special day, the worse thing you can do is drink too much!! be careful!!
I still wish I could get those last moments back, but it's all good can't turn back time...all I can do is help future brides with my story!

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

don't feel bad, seriously. i didn't drink ANYTHING (i even toasted w/ apple juice because i had told the bridal attendant that i didn't really drink and i think she thought it meant i was in recovery or something so that's what she handed me!!). Anyway, the entire day is a complete blur...I feel like it happened in fast forward and I don't remember half of it. Also, I totally regret not having drunk anything because I was way too inhibited on the dance floor and I wish I had been able to just let loose.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by newlywed28

I think having a few drinks at your own wedding celebration is 100% acceptable...just make sure you actually eat and drink water :). From my experience every time I didn't have a drink in my hand someone noticed and handed me one...so maybe hold a club soda with lemon or lime. It will look like a cocktail but you'll just be downing water. I wish I would have utilized that 'trick' ha! I'm sure you will be fine though.

Anyway, I was doing some more reading about post wedding depression. It apparently is more real than I would have thought. Maybe that's my deal...I wanted ever thing to be perfect and as perfect as everything looked...the expectations I had for my family, guests and many friends were not met. I only have myself to blame for that I suppose. It was a lot to handle and I felt somewhat alone. I had great bmaids there by my side but my husband and I were separated for much of the night. I think we danced together about 3 times the whole evening. So that is another suggestion I have. Make sure you make if clear to your husband to be that you are going to need his emotional support on your wedding day. It's easy to get pulled in different directions when you are throwing what is basically the biggest party of your life...

My husband still doesn't really get that. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. But he thinks it is very normal for a bride and a groom to each 'work the room' and mingle...my thoughts are that we should have been mingling together...tell your man you want him by your side...

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My FH is the same way. I planned a surprise 30th for him last year, spent 6 months planning. I got a tent, tables and chairs, a dj and a bartendar and we woke up the next morning and I was like hello stranger. Whenever we go to parties he always hangs with his friends but I know this will happen on our wedding night too.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

I hav been thinking about the same thing because as I used to drink like a champ when I was younger, I really have no tolerance anymore. Our E-Party is on Saturday and I need to use this as a monitor to keep myself in check because I have easily not eaten and had a few drinks and can get drunk pretty quickly. I could see this happening my wedding day too. But at least you said you weren't in appropriate and yo do have the video and pictures to look at and watch. I hope you feel better. Just enjoy being married to the love of your life since that's what it is all about. <3

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox

i've heard that the wedding day is a blur for most brides. there is so much going on and so many emotions being felt. i think it's natural that you feel the way you do, but i wouldn't stress about it. you have the pictures and video to look back on and relive it whenever you want

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ITA , just wait til your video and pics come....the fuzzy parts may get a little clearer

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

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Posted by jilliibabii

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Posted by J79

that's all great advice. i barely drank at my sisters wedding and it was still a blur! i too have family issues that i know will make me stressed! so a - i won't be eating leading up bc i'll be stressed and b - i'll need a drink at the wedding before the ceremony!

my big fear tho is that i won't remember it. i honestly want to have like 2 glasses of champagne the whole night. 1 before the cermony and 1 at reception.

as far as mingling, i want to make sure FH knows I want to 'work the room' together!

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I barely had 2 drinks at my wedding this past May and it was a blur to me, too. Don't worry, I think it's the nature of the day, not that you drank too much. Just be glad you didn't do anything crazy and don't beat yourself up over it. You have video and pictures to remember everything by!

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ITA. I think even if you didn't drink it still would have been a blur so definitely don't beat yourself up over it.

Re: Feeling guilty about drinking 'too' much at my recent wedding...

i plan on drinking only gin and tonics, and 2 at most!!! nothing with color in case of spillage!