Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I know you are hurt because you want him to wear it, but it doesn't make you less married.

Will he at least exchange rings during the ceremony? That would bother me but not if he didn't wear it every day.

In fact I have horrible eczema on my hands and can't wear rings so I don't wear mine too frequently, DH understands.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My DH wears his ring after a little nagging but honestly I wouldn't feel offended if he didn't want to wear one. My father never wore a ring nor did my grandfather and both were very devoted to their wives.

I would still buy him a ring and exchange at the ceremony and ask him if he could wear it on special occasions or weekends while he's not at work. Compromise....key to marriage : ).

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My FI isn't going to wear a ring. He got a cheap one to wear for the ceremony. My dad never wore one. I really don't care. Some men do not like jewelry. I honestly dont' think it is about looking available to other women. Nagging him is going to make him resentful of wearing the ring so I would let it go. If you know he is faithful - what difference does it make. I know it bothers you but think about how you'd feel wearing a piece of jewelry you didn't like?

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

I posted before, but I couldn't find it. Your advice was not to take his last name - I tried it, no good - - he STILL doesn't want to wear one. I just bought a $500.00 ring for him - he wants me to return it - I'm so hurt. Any advice??

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I soo understand how you feel! My fiance thinks that it's OK not to wear one because his father and my father dont wear one. Well it's a lost cause and frankly i was getting tired of arguing with him, so i just let it go even though i hurts! But i have been with him for 9 years (im 23 by the way lol), and i trust him completly.......

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

I posted before, but I couldn't find it. Your advice was not to take his last name - I tried it, no good - - he STILL doesn't want to wear one. I just bought a $500.00 ring for him - he wants me to return it - I'm so hurt. Any advice??

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FH and I just had a conversation about this today!!! He never, ever wears jewelry. He SUGGESTED getting a ring tattooed on his finger - which I am fine with if that's what he wants to do! I suggested he get a Titanium one for the ceremony & for when he gets dressed up. I told him Titanium sounds tough and strong - just like him! I think that sold him on the idea!

PS - You can guess his occupation from my name

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

i grew up with my Dad never wearing his wedding ring - he only wore it the day he got married but he ever liked it - but then after i got engaged, 30 years of marriag, and one new yea's resolution he wears it every day and it i used to it

i never would have cared if my Fi wore aaring or not -but he has no problem because I was not seeing it - he may have grown up not seeing one on his Dad's hand -

I don't think it is a good idea to bargin for the ring - you should try different ways of showing the importance for him
Also mybe he is afraid of loosing it - try a silver ring for a whle - try to figure out why beside i just don't wear jewlery - jmo

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My husband can't wear his ring at work. He's in construction. And on the weekends he usually forgets to put it on. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't mean we're any less married. Do I get a big kick when I see him wearing the ring..Yes! But, it's not a critical point.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My DH was against wearing a ring. He doesnt wear jewelry and thought it would be uncomfortable.

Well we decided to have a 6 month trial where he wears it everyday and then he can decide if he wants to wear it moving forward.

Well we have been married slighly over a month and he has yet to walk out of the house without his ring. He forgot it one day and felt weird without it!!! He said it doesnt bother him and he likes wearing it. This was a shock to me...but i love it!!!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Thanks ladies

My Dad & his never wore one either (my Dad doesn't even have one). He's not in any profession that would prohibit him from wearing one either. He did agree to a 6 mo trial, so I'll go for that.

That's not really the point to me though. It's that he's not taking into account my feelings.

Thanks for all the advice - you guys are the best!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

my dh never ever wore jewerly and although it took a little while for him to get used to wearing it now he wears it all the time. you should ask him to wear it around the house and he will get you use to it im sure.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

Thanks ladies

My Dad & his never wore one either (my Dad doesn't even have one). He's not in any profession that would prohibit him from wearing one either. He did agree to a 6 mo trial, so I'll go for that.

That's not really the point to me though. It's that he's not taking into account my feelings.

Thanks for all the advice - you guys are the best!

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I'm in the minority here... I don't see what the big deal is... the marriage is about the marriage and it shouldn't hinge on a little piece of jewelry. My father never wore a wedding ring, but he was the most committed and loyal husband I've ever known... as for myself, I hate wearing jewelry and am pretty sure my e-ring and band will eventually come off, but that doesn't mean anything about the degree of committment and love I have for my FI... it's just a preference, that's all. I agree, in a relationship we have to make certain compromises... but it seems like you're expecting him to make the only compromises by adding your last name to your children's names and by forcing him to wear a ring... if he really doesn't feel comfortable wearing a ring, it doesn't and shouldn't symbolize anything about his committment to you and I really think it's not fair to him to force him to do something he is uncomfortable with... I realize it's important to you, but you also have to think about what is important to him

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

MissM, I think you should try just agreeing with him. Tell him he's right, rings are uncomfortable and you don't like jewelry so you're not going to wear one either. And then do it. See how he feels about it.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

DH wears his ring to work, then takes it off all day....he is mechanic. The reason why I mention it is because he leaves it at work all the time & forgets it in his toolbox, and at this point I would rather he didn't wear it at all....... when we meet new people he is very excited to intrioduce 'his wife,' and that is all theat matters.....the fact that he is excited about our relationship & our love.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

fh doesnt feel comfortable wearing rings....
im going to take him to the jeweler to try and find him a comfortable one, and hopefully he will get use to it...

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Fh doesn't feel comfortable with jewelry either and he works with his hands a lot. It doesn't bother me all that much. We are getting him a ring anyway to wear on special occasions.

My father only wore a ring for a couple of years... his finger swelled or grew or something and they actually had to cut the ring off... he never replaced it. It didn't make him love my mother any less.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My DH does not wear jewerly either. He is also an electrician so he can not wear jewerly on the job, for obvious reasons....BUT, he wears his wedding band on the weekends and if we go out or he goes out.

I would be upset too! I think you need to just stress how important this is to you, and if he would care if you just stopped wearing your e-ring and no wedding band.