Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

Taking pictures at the RH early might be a good option, I would have done that if I could but we had an event at our RH before ours and the RH could not accomidate our large family.

Seriously, right after the ceremony, it took over 40 minutes to take pictures of three sets of families (granted it was at least 40 people for each set of family members), so DH and I missed the CH, we go to go in for less than 5 minutes... then during the reception it took like 10 minutes to get people organized so that we could take pictures with our guests at each table. it really ate into the time and was a complete headache.
if we had known it was going to be like that, we would have tried to take pictures someplace else prior to the wedding with our family members

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

if the cer starts at 11:30 I dont think that is too early for them. You are right to want to enjoy ALLLLLL of your wedding, without wanting to use party time to take pics

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I asked my family to get to the CH 30 minutes early for pictures -- grant it that is 7:00 pm but if I had a day wedding I would do the same thing.

It seems to me he doesn't want to ask because he knows they won' show up not that it is an inconvience to them. I am sure it won't be a big deal to do right after dinner but I am with you I just want them done with.

My photographer suggested that right as dinner was winding down having the dj ask all memebers of the 'xxx family' come to the dance floor for a picture. They come out -- take a picture and then reopne the dance floor -- that is an option too!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by dante31300

Yes but the incentive to getting to work on time is that they get paid for that. Not saying that your wedding isn't important b/c it is. But they may feel that as long as they are there for ceremony and reception that this is sufficient. I could see making this request to the parents but I'm not sure I would feel ok with extending it to the rest of the family. I think table photos would work out great. Especially if you plan on going around to each table to say thank you and receive your cards. This way you would still be able to enjoy the partying portion of the wedding.

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We don't plan on going to each table, this is my point. We are purposely seeing each other before hand so we can greet people at the CH and not have to lose time at our reception going around to each table. I'd rather not have FH see me before hand but it is something we're sacrificing to get more time at our reception. This is why it makes me angry that we have to lose time taking pictures with FH's family who are incapable of getting somewhere by 10 am.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by bluegreen08

I think you are both right. We had a similar timeline and told family to come at 10am for pictures. My dad's step-mom didn't get the memo and booked a car service that wouldn't get her there until 11am. We did a quick shot with her before signing the ketubah, and had to get the extended family shot with her done in the bridal suite while we waited for the ceremony to begin.

Try to avoid taking as many pictures as possible during the reception. We did go back outside for a few BP shots we missed and shots of ourselves at the end of dinner, but why should YOU have to miss some of your reception to take pictures so that the extended fam can sleep in an extra 45 minutes?

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exactly! Can you call my FH and tell him this please?

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We told family we wanted formal pictures with to come at 10. We took pictures with those who were there. We took a quick shot with my dads sibs (ran out of time before the ceremony) in the bridal suite, same with my moms sibs, and when we went around to tables DH's aunt had us take a shot with all of the extended fam on her camera and the photog ran over and got it too.

To be honest, I felt a little rushed and also felt like we didn't have nearly enough time for all of the pictures I wanted, and that was with pictures starting at 9am. That's why we took a few shots (the stair pictures) while guests walked from CH to reception, and then a few more shots at the end of dinner. There's not enough time to start throwing formals in there too

Just tell the family members you are doing formals before the ceremony. If they want formals taken, come before the ceremony. If they are fine with a table shot and candids then they can sleep in, but you won't be missing your reception (5 hours you will never get back, and have been planning for a long time) because people would prefer to sleep in. JMO

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

we are only taking pics with our parents, grandparents (we only have 3 total) and our bridal party - we are doing all of those before the ceremony.... we are not doing any family photos (no aunts/uncles/cousins)....i dont see a reason for family photos - we are fine with candids of our extended family and ill ask the photographer to get table photos...my FHs sister's cocktail hour was almost ruined because of family photos - after seeing what happened with her (and she didnt even use any of the photos) we decided not to do them

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Ooo than it has to be 10. I think they should make at least an effort..if not all can come then some? Would that work?

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I recommended this to him, I said tell them to come at 10 and who ever gets here, gets here. He didn't like that either.

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did he even ask his family is this would be an issue? Maybe the siblings and parents? ican't see asking the aunts uncles and everyone else.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by Future Mulligan

we are only taking pics with our parents, grandparents (we only have 3 total) and our bridal party - we are doing all of those before the ceremony.... we are not doing any family photos (no aunts/uncles/cousins)....i dont see a reason for family photos - we are fine with candids of our extended family and ill ask the photographer to get table photos...my FHs sister's cocktail hour was almost ruined because of family photos - after seeing what happened with her (and she didnt even use any of the photos) we decided not to do them

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That's a good idea although my family is coming for pictures, I wanted formal pictures with a few aunts and cousins I'm close with but it's nothing like the size of Fh's family.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I'm going to agree with you - I was so upset that we spent the entire time taking pictures with family even though DH and I saw each other before the ceremony to get everything done. I only had 1 hour to actually enjoy myself to eat and dance. So I say stick to your guns!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by wundmoretime

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by sweetdoublenn

Ooo than it has to be 10. I think they should make at least an effort..if not all can come then some? Would that work?

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I recommended this to him, I said tell them to come at 10 and who ever gets here, gets here. He didn't like that either.

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did he even ask his family is this would be an issue? Maybe the siblings and parents? ican't see asking the aunts uncles and everyone else.

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no he hasn't even asked them yet

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by wundmoretime

did he even ask his family is this would be an issue? Maybe the siblings and parents? ican't see asking the aunts uncles and everyone else.

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no he hasn't even asked them yet

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The starting point should be him asking them!!! I told DH I wanted all of the grandparents to walk down the aisle because I think it's amazing that we have 7 grandparents still alive, and it's tradition in a Jewish ceremony. He argued with me over it and said his grandparents wouldn't want to etc, but I felt it would look weird if only mine did. Well, we decided I would mention it to them because I would afraid he would poison their thinking... and when I brought it up his grandparents were like... of course! That's how weddings usually are! (they aren't Jewish) so it wasn't an issue at all.

Don't stress about it until you know they won't want to do it. Also, you don't need to have all of the family come at 10. You can tell them 10:30 or even 10:45 and just have them go last... but remind them that the rehearsal starts at 11 so if they want formal pictures they can't be late.

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

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Posted by bluegreen08

The starting point should be him asking them!!! I told DH I wanted all of the grandparents to walk down the aisle because I think it's amazing that we have 7 grandparents still alive, and it's tradition in a Jewish ceremony. He argued with me over it and said his grandparents wouldn't want to etc, but I felt it would look weird if only mine did. Well, we decided I would mention it to them because I would afraid he would poison their thinking... and when I brought it up his grandparents were like... of course! That's how weddings usually are! (they aren't Jewish) so it wasn't an issue at all.

Don't stress about it until you know they won't want to do it. Also, you don't need to have all of the family come at 10. You can tell them 10:30 or even 10:45 and just have them go last... but remind them that the rehearsal starts at 11 so if they want formal pictures they can't be late.

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Thanks for your suggestions, I'm not stressing just angry! We have an interfaith ceremony too!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

i happen to agree with you. 10:00 AM is early??? are they traveling far? i don't understand this is YOUR day its a once in lifetime. can't people go out of their way or above and beyond just once?! i had a similiar problem. i told family to be at RH at 6:00 PM for family pics. CH was at 7:00. God help me what you thought i was asking. I got 'oh i want to go home & relax', ' i have to go home & walk the dog'. i was like you know what if you want to be in some pictures please be there by 6:00 if not oh well. but i better not hear crap from you later on when you are looking at the album & you aren't in any of the pictures

i would stick to your guns! its your day!!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

Why don't you suggest to FH to just have the photographer go around the room and take pics of the tables without you two so u don't have to waste the time doing it if everybody can't agree..kind of compromise....

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I think you are definitely right-even with our families arriving an hour early, we still had to do some shots during the cocktail hour. It's hard to coordinate that many people so I say the earlier the better. I think some family was annoyed but it's one day and it's my wedding-no one said anything to me so I'm not sure. I compromised a lot leading up to the wedding and I didn't want to miss my entire cocktail hour-mostly because we had a string trio. I ended up only being at the ch for about 15 minutes so I got to hear them. I think you should talk to you FH again and maybe have some family get there at 10 and some at 10:30 since they probably won't all need to be there at the same time. Good luck and just remember it will all be worth it!!!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

You are right. His family can be there an hour early for pics. I mean for pete's sake, they'll have more time to enjoy the reception too!

Re: Fight with FH - who's right?

I honestly don't think that you are asking for much. 10am for an 11:30am ceremony is not that early I had all family members who were taking pictures with me get there at 5pm. Our ceremony was at 6:30pm on a Friday mind you so I'm sure they sat in traffic to get there but they got there. I dont blame you for not wanting to take pics during your reception with family.