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First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

MrsHtobe Posted: Nov 13, 2007 02:38 PM+

MrsHtobe MEMBER SINCE: 9/07 TOTAL POSTS : 4755 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 02:38 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

Posted by angl2001

i fell like im gonna puke! everytime i start to get over this fight we are in she makes me mad again...its weird that all the blogs she has on myspace and seem to be complaining about someone i am blocked from...weird huh???
I am just getting so sick of it all...and i refuse to dao anything about it till after Jeris wedding on saturday!! i hate holding things in!
UGH!

Only you know whats best, but I'm sorry you're going through this (have fun at Jeri's wedding!!)

angl2001 Posted: Nov 13, 2007 02:54 PM+

angl2001 MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 21081 WEDDING DATE: May 24, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 02:54 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

thanks ill post pics on sunday!

kellybean Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:06 PM+

kellybean MEMBER SINCE: 5/07 TOTAL POSTS : 4924 WEDDING DATE: Feb 28, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:06 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

so sorry you are having to deal with any drama at all !!!! Everything will work out !!

gettinghizitched Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:33 PM+

gettinghizitched MEMBER SINCE: 6/07 TOTAL POSTS : 1133 WEDDING DATE: Jun 21, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:33 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

OMG my friend sounds just like yours but she has kids and since i'm not having any kids at my wedding I asked her if she wanted to put them in the wedding as a FGand RB. I know that its alot of money but i also know that she wouldn't have anyone to watch her kids. So she said that she would talk it over with her husband (which is FHs best friend) and get back to me. Well its been like over 2 months and she hasnt said anything. So i'm like in the same boat. I said to leave her in and see how it goes. oh and sorry so long. LoL.

angl2001 Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:34 PM+

angl2001 MEMBER SINCE: 11/05 TOTAL POSTS : 21081 WEDDING DATE: May 24, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:34 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

no problem i hope it all works out

gettinghizitched Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:37 PM+

gettinghizitched MEMBER SINCE: 6/07 TOTAL POSTS : 1133 WEDDING DATE: Jun 21, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:37 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

Posted by angl2001

no problem i hope it all works out

Thanks!

bride-in-training08 Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:54 PM+

bride-in-training08 MEMBER SINCE: 7/07 TOTAL POSTS : 107 WEDDING DATE: Jul 18, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:54 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

I have been in a similar situation and it was eating away at me the same that it is eating at you. The more time has passed the less concerned I have become with it. You asked her to be in your party and if she thought it would be a problem (on any level) she should have said no...since she didn't that hopefully indicates that she wants to be a part of your day. Unfortunately it may not be in the 'yay I'm getting married be happy ' kind of way. If this is the case just remember you have plenty of other friends and BMs who will be there for you (fortunately I have 11) and I know that you refuse to let one person ruin your day! With all that brides have to worry about, I would just push her into the background. I know it is easier said then done, but try and remember what is most important to YOU!!!

anneandchris Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:58 PM+

anneandchris MEMBER SINCE: 8/07 TOTAL POSTS : 6284 WEDDING DATE: Nov 01, 2008

Posted: Nov 13, 2007 03:58 PM

Re: First BM drama..my head hurts.........sorry so long! with poll!

Posted by davenjess

honest opinion time & i know that's what you want.

i voted other...i wanted to do this with Dave's sister but didn't - as i was afraid of his mom's reaction...

i would sit her down & talk to her. Explain to her that you don't want to put her out & make things financially harder for her.....so you are asking her to be 100% sure she wants to be in the bridal party. You don't want her to resent you for the decision you made to ask her.

You need to express sincerely to her that you will not be offended and you'd be honored if she'd take on another role at the wedding or something along those lines. Also - tell her that you would like to give her a few days to think about it....so she doesn't have to tell you immediately...

I think this would be your best option - as this is frustration that isn't fair for you to have to deal with.

At that point - she can say no & bow out gracefully but if she insists....then she's in and it's her issue.

Well said!!!!!!!