Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

I wouldn't worry about it. As long as he is not saying 'hell no' or flat out 'I don't like it', he is more than likely ok with it. I have come to realize that the only time my FH will really say anything other than 'I don't care, or I don't know' is when he really, really doesn't like something. It sounds like you are doing good so far!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

Oh honey, the LAST thing you want on your hands is an FH who has a say in planning! All I kept my husband informed about what how much money we were spending. I can't even tell you what some of my friends went through with their FHs who had their own 'vision' of their day. A man's opinion is great, but not on all things wedding related!
I gave my hubby two jobs, one was to pick a videographer because he's in film and tv, and the other was to pick tuxes. That was it. Other than that, I decided early on I didn't WANT his opinion!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

In general, I think most guys are not that obsessed with the planning as we ladies are. It doesn't mean they don't care. We are crazy about planning because most of us have been dreaming of this day since we're little girls. Our guys have not been thinking of this day until they knew they wanted to propose. They never sat down with their Barbies & wondered what kind of dress their bride would be wearing, what colors the Bridesmaids would wear, what theme would be used, what song they would dance their first dance to. How many little boys are sitting around with their little friends wondering what color flower will be on their butonneire(SP??). Probably NONE! They just don't care about the frilly side of it. At least for my FH, he cares about the food, the honeymoon, and the sexy lingerie I'll be getting at the shower. And I love the little stinker for it!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

I'm in the same boat with Sweets14...I haven't even been engaged a month yet and already FH and I have had more fights than I can handle. At first I thought it was only my guy but after reading these posts I feel a lot better. We can't help it if the men in our lives don't care about themes, flowers, dresses, photography etc. My FH loved picking the hall, honeymoon spot and DJ and that's it...maybe limos and tuxes will spark his attention later on but for now I've learned my lesson. That's why we have moms, MOH's and Bridesmaids in our lives ladies...to help us with all the girlie stuff that our FH's don't wanna be bothered with.

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

There are a bunch of brides that will tell you that you're lucky he's not overly involved. My FH keeps saying it's his wedding too. Except for flowers he went to every single vendor appointment I made. As for flowers, when I was down to what I believed would be my choice and was going to look at the sample I brought him along. Granted, we had a huge fight right there in front of the florist, but during said fight he kept saying how beautiful the CP was and couldn't understand how I could find anything wrong with it. The only other thing he didn't fully participate in was hall selection, but that was because he worked weekends at the time I was looking. He went to all my top choices though, and we decided together.

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

yeah... i wouldn't worry about it- like the other girls said, guys just aren't detail oreinted like girls are.... my dh was the same way- he couldn't have cared less about most of the things with the wedding.... it doesn't mean he didn't love me or care about our wedding and our future... he was just being a guy. and it sounds like thats just how your DH is, too... no big deal.
also, in my experience with me and with my other friends who have gotten married or are getting married... the guys usually care about one or two things during the planning... for my DH, he cared about the cake... he REALLY wanted a square cake... for another friend, her DH really got his heart set on certain invitations... and another friend, her FI is all about big flower centerpieces...
so, as you keep planning, i think you'll probably find that there will be one or two things that your FI cares about.... the rest, they're more than happy to leave up to us girls

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

This is such a guy thing. I'm glad to know my FH sounds like every else. I always remind my FH about the beautiful wedding that I am planning ir order to see some appreciation. I guess if we want to marry real men, not our male gay best friends, this is what we have to deal with. LOL, one of my FH's friends actually is involved. He's just one of those oddities, I guess.

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

My FH is involved in MANY of the details and I love getting his opinion.

He has been great about going to all the appointments and looks at BM dresses for me to give me his opinions.

He has great taste so I like having him involved.

He
*picked our hall
*picked our entrance song
*will be picking out tuxes for all the guys to match the color I am getting.
*is working with the D.J. (he loves music)
to get a play and do not play list.
* picked our first dance song

Honestly I am just beginning my teaching career and do not have time for all the little details and it is AWESOME to have his help!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

unfortuantely, just get used to it... it's not gonna get better.

today, i'm trying on rings and asking him.. what do you think? he replies, 'let's get out of here'

WHAAAT... never tell a bride to GET OUT of Fortunoff's jewelry department!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

hahaha, get used to those answers!

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

Not all guys care about that stuff, my FH only picked the hall and I asked him to come along for the dj being that he djs as well otherwise no input from FH.

Re: Help! Does FH get a say? (long)

My FH doesn't care about flowers and BM dresses the cake or anything like that. He did want input on some things. I basically let him know what's going on with the things he really doesn't care about. Your FH seems like he wants to be involved and wants to see choices. Do some research, pick out some things you like and give him options. It's great to have an FH who wants to be involved.