Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I know how hard this must be for you. I've experienced the sadness of death far too much for someone my age (I've lost both parents and 3 of my grandparents), and even though it's been several years now, I still abhor going to the cemetary. That being said, I think it's super important for you to be there with your cousins - knowing how hard it will be for you, it'll mean so much to them - I can only think if the dates were reversed, it'd be you and you'd probably want them there. I would anyway. And I'm certain your father will be proud of you.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Leslie all I can say is we're here for you & we love you and it is so admirable you going for your aunt. I know it can't be easy. Your dad will be smiling down on you.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I cant even image what you are going through..

you already showed amazing strength by opening up to all of us and letting us in .. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be able to be there for your cousin in her time of need. You are stronger then you know..

Just know that we are all here for you and will be with you..

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.

We love you, Les

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Les,

You are such an amazing person! The fact that you are going to go, despite your grief, is truly amazing. Your father would be so proud of you. I know how hard this has been (and continues to be) for you. Please know that you can always count on me for whatever it is you need... (support, cheese, coffee, CHEESE!)

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Once again I have to thank you ladies for the outpour of support and sensitivity you continue to show me. It helps more than you all know. Dad would want me to go for his sister. He had three sisters and he loved each one of them very much.

After I posted this problem, I went out to the bridal event at MACY's tonight. As I was walking through the mall, I walked past Wild Pair and saw one of the doctors who 'treated' Dad in the ICU unit one point during his 9 month stint - coincidentally, it was on the same night Ed and I decided we were going to tell Dad we were going to get married (BEFORE we had a ring). Dad was in and out of consciousness but in the event he had one moment of clarity, we wanted him to know. HOWEVER, right before Ed got to the hospital, this doctor was talking to me, looking at his records and said that my family should consider some form of a DNR because my father was AND I QUOTE 'a vegetable'.

We all knew Dad was dying. We knew there wasn't going to be a miracle and had planned to have a DNR puti nto place, but to hear those words was horrible - ESPECIALLY since I was there on that night to tell Dad the good news. We wanted to tell him then because we didnt know if we would have a ring in time before he passed. Needless to say, Dad hung on for another three months and so he knew. We ended up notifying the head doctor of the ICU unit who came in on his day off to do damage control because of his resident's thoughtlessness.

Seing that doctor today, triggered even MORE memories I wasnt prepared for. I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Wow...I don't know what to say that the girls already haven't...eveyone is different - if you feel that you can't wholeheartedly grieve your aunt, than maybe pass the unveiling. You've already proven you have incredible strength, and I'm sure your Dad is so proud of you already. STAY STRONG!


Ladies - your support is always so amazing - everyone give yourselves a pat on the back.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

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Posted by Kris516
Ladies - your support is always so amazing - everyone give yourselves a pat on the back.

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HERE! HERE! You are amazing women!

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

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And this is why we love you!

PS - what self respecting MAN shops at Wild Pair?

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

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Posted by Kris516

I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

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And this is why we love you!

PS - what self respecting MAN shops at Wild Pair?

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I cant say because LORD KNOWS that SOMEONE here will get offended and start a 'Do you think WILD PAIR is tacky' thread.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by Kris516

I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

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And this is why we love you!

PS - what self respecting MAN shops at Wild Pair?

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I cant say because LORD KNOWS that SOMEONE here will get offended and start a 'Do you think WILD PAIR is tacky' thread.

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Notice I said MAN...to Cover My A$$, but F#ck it, Wild Pair is tacky!

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

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Posted by Kris516

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by Kris516

I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

---

And this is why we love you!

PS - what self respecting MAN shops at Wild Pair?

---

I cant say because LORD KNOWS that SOMEONE here will get offended and start a 'Do you think WILD PAIR is tacky' thread.

---

Notice I said MAN...to Cover My A$$, but F#ck it, Wild Pair is tacky!

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Leslie, maybe you SHOULD have punched him in the gut, though it's such a credit to you that you didn't!. they need to teach more sensivity lessons in medical school!

much love and support!

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Leslie,

I admire your strength and wish I had more to offer you than my thoughts, hugs and prayers.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Leslie, it must be really hard to make that decision, but I think your cousins would greatly appreciate it if you came to pay your respects in your aunt's memory. I know (from your posts) that the passing of your father was very emotional and the hardest thing you had to go through (and are still going through). But you're a strong person, and I am sure that your father would have loved for you to be there for your cousins.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I can't imagine how difficult this will be for you, but it is 100% the right thing to do. Allow yourslef to cry, and feel your emotions, it is so natural, everyone will understand. Rest your head on your FH shoulder, and let him help you. Best wishes to you, and many 's

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

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Posted by Goldi1021

Once again I have to thank you ladies for the outpour of support and sensitivity you continue to show me. It helps more than you all know. Dad would want me to go for his sister. He had three sisters and he loved each one of them very much.

After I posted this problem, I went out to the bridal event at MACY's tonight. As I was walking through the mall, I walked past Wild Pair and saw one of the doctors who 'treated' Dad in the ICU unit one point during his 9 month stint - coincidentally, it was on the same night Ed and I decided we were going to tell Dad we were going to get married (BEFORE we had a ring). Dad was in and out of consciousness but in the event he had one moment of clarity, we wanted him to know. HOWEVER, right before Ed got to the hospital, this doctor was talking to me, looking at his records and said that my family should consider some form of a DNR because my father was AND I QUOTE 'a vegetable'.

We all knew Dad was dying. We knew there wasn't going to be a miracle and had planned to have a DNR puti nto place, but to hear those words was horrible - ESPECIALLY since I was there on that night to tell Dad the good news. We wanted to tell him then because we didnt know if we would have a ring in time before he passed. Needless to say, Dad hung on for another three months and so he knew. We ended up notifying the head doctor of the ICU unit who came in on his day off to do damage control because of his resident's thoughtlessness.

Seing that doctor today, triggered even MORE memories I wasnt prepared for. I wanted to punch him in the gut and then take the ugly (yes I saw them and they WERE ugly so dont get offended if you shop there) Wild Pair shoes he was trying on and kick him in the nads with them. But being a woman of reason, I walked away and told him to go F himself under my breath. How is THAT for being in touch with my feelings?

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Leslie, doctors and all hospital workers for that matter, can be so insensitive. When my grandmother (father's mom) passed away a few years ago, the hospital called my parent's house and said 'We wanted to inform you that the patient has EXPIRED.' W T F ????? Luckily it was my Mom who answered because I don't know how my Dad would have take it at that point.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

Leslie, you have been an inspiration to a lot of people on here. I believe you have the strength to get through this and be there for your cousins during this time. You have a lot more strength than your realize, and if you have to let out your emotions and cry, then do it! No one will think any less of you, especially your father, who I think would be proud of you and smiling down on you from above.

Our prayers and hugs are with you always.

Re: I have to do something that I don't know if I can do (sort of long and sad)...

I am sure that the other people at the unveiling will realize that this is very hard for you. Just being there is enough. If you have to stand a bit away or not talk to people, it is all okay!!!