Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by JessicaM.
no Sasha, don't get me wrong. It's not so much that I have a problem with paying for it myself, but, in reality, I have supported my parents since I was able to work- and they are takers, not givers. It is just upsetting, maybe I feel a little 'short-changed' if you will, b/c I see so many girls on here getting SOMETHING...anything, no matter how small, but I don't even get the gesture. it just really makes me sad, b/c although I know I can do it (I've been supported myself COMPLETELY since 16) it would be NICE to have a little more support and generousity in my life, whether financially or in spirit- and not have people leaning on ME when I SHOULD be able to lean on them...

oh well, such is life.

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I know exactly what you mean...trust me, I DO understand! I have been on my own since the age of 19, working (yes, paying taxes!) since I'm 12 and doing it all without the support of my parents. It's definitely a bummer and I wish my family was there for me emotionally (more than financially) because even though she made my dress and that was a big gift, it was almost like pulling teeth and I felt awkward although she was my mom...

So I understand your vent...you just wish you had parents that were caring and supportive instead of non-responsive. BUT, you wouldn't be the amazing woman you are today had anything in your upbringing been different. Or at least that's what I tell myself!

All I could hope for is the future...I pray that I will be able to fill my children's emotionals needs and that they feel like they could always count on me!

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this is my one true hope and ambition as a mother.

thanks Sasha...you are right about that though- I am, so they say, mentally toughLOL I (jokingly) tell FH that I'd rather me a spoiled, weak, co-dependent brat ANY DAY! LOL

but I am happy for the most part, that I am so independent.

all the ladies, who independent, throw your hands up at me! LOL- go Beyonce!

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Looks like we are paying for EVERYTHING..except my dress, my mother said she would......
It ***** when people are cheap though......we wanted to pay for it by ourselves..but no one is even offering anything! i hate to sound like a lil biznitch...but my grandparents have A LOT of money and they didnt say anything..or give anything!!!!!

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

All of you should be very proud to be able to give yourselves your dream weddings and as stated before I wish I could too.

However, if we did not have the ability to finance a wedding ourselves and my family could not provide for us, We would opt for a destination wedding or perhaps a much more scaled down wedding so as not to start our married lives in heavy debt. I NEVER asked for the wedding I will have, and I do not feel as if it renders me spoiled or less independent.

To be honest, if I had the money to give my child a wedding at Oheka Castle in the middle of May on Saturday night, even if they were 50 years old, I would. Everyone does what they can and what they want.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Posted by Goldi1021

All of you should be very proud to be able to give yourselves your dream weddings and as stated before I wish I could too.

However, if we did not have the ability to finance a wedding ourselves and my family could not provide for us, We would opt for a destination wedding or perhaps a much more scaled down wedding so as not to start our married lives in heavy debt. I NEVER asked for the wedding I will have, and I do not feel as if it renders me spoiled or less independent.

To be honest, if I had the money to give my child a wedding at Oheka Castle in the middle of May on Saturday night, even if they were 50 years old, I would. Everyone does what they can and what they want.

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I should clarify that my comments about weak/codependent brat are not really wedding related...that is something I say to my fh every so often when he tries to cheer me up after I have to come to someone's rescue or someone screws me over once again- it was more a reference to the things I have gone through that have molded me into the person I am, not whether you have parents generous enough or with the means to contribute to give your child a nice wedding.

I hope to do all of these things and more for my child one day- you can be independent and still be showered with love.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

my parents are paying most of it with the help of my future in-laws. I plan on buying BM gifts only...if that!

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by Goldi1021

All of you should be very proud to be able to give yourselves your dream weddings and as stated before I wish I could too.

However, if we did not have the ability to finance a wedding ourselves and my family could not provide for us, We would opt for a destination wedding or perhaps a much more scaled down wedding so as not to start our married lives in heavy debt. I NEVER asked for the wedding I will have, and I do not feel as if it renders me spoiled or less independent.

To be honest, if I had the money to give my child a wedding at Oheka Castle in the middle of May on Saturday night, even if they were 50 years old, I would. Everyone does what they can and what they want.

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I should clarify that my comments about weak/codependent brat are not really wedding related...that is something I say to my fh every so often when he tries to cheer me up after I have to come to someone's rescue or someone screws me over once again- it was more a reference to the things I have gone through that have molded me into the person I am, not whether you have parents generous enough or with the means to contribute to give your child a nice wedding.

I hope to do all of these things and more for my child one day- you can be independent and still be showered with love.

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Amen to that...unfortunately we cant choose our families...so we gotta put up with them and change the future with our own hands through our children...

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

As much joy as it gives my family to make this for me, I wish i could dip more into my pockets and do it. Mom is elderly and newly widowed. The timing really stinks with planning though my father would have wanted us to do it this way.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Posted by SIBride06

Everything but the photographer.. That is a gift from my FH's mother.

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Same here.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

i am not in your shoes at all, we are not paying for the majority of the wedding, both parents, mine mostly are contributing a great deal! i know how lucky we are! I dont know how you girls do it who are paying for it on your own! I applaud you!

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We were planning on doing it all alone, however, we recieved an unexpected gift from my gram and my mom is paying for my dress, tiara, crinolin etc.

So far i am happy to say that we have paid for everything without charging and plan to keep it up

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We are doing it ourselves too. My parents are paying for my dress....but the rest is on us. I know if our parents could do more they would. We just keep saving the money and hope it all adds up!

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We're paying for everything from the church to the reception to the honeymoon, everything EXCEPT our band that FIL's are paying for.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We're paying for everything ourselves....and I have a second job. So I know how it feels, sometimes I worry about where I''m going to get all this money from
Hopefully things will work out though and we'll get some money back as gifts

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Fh's parents are paying for his guests. I'm paying for my guests. FH and my parents are splitting all vendor costs and my parents are buying my dress as well.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

my fi parents are giving us $10,000 toward the wedding as their gift. we are paying for the rest, which looks like it will be another 10,00-15,000 w/honeymoon. we are barely making it paycheck to paycheck, so its gonna be rough. my brain told me to elope and use their money for a down payment on a home (not on LI bc we can't afford it here), but my heart (and society) told me i need a wedding and all the trimmings :) my mom (single mom of many kids) can't afford to give me a penny and i am buying her dress and having her hair done as well. ~lacey

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

We are paying for every single thing.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

Paying for everything except for Dress, Tiara, and Veil. That is my mom's gift to me. Everything else is coming straight from me and my FI.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

while i feel like i'm paying for the whole thing, i'm actually not.. my parents are giving me a specific sum that should cover about 85% of the reception hall. I am personally paying for everything else... FH will put the downpayment on the house someday.... and any gifts will be the rainy day fund. it ***** b/c it will be my enitre savings pretty much after working for 5 years full time...

i definitley pat you girls on the back who are doing it on your own.

Re: I know we've touched on this subject before, BUT

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Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006

Fh's parents are paying for his guests. I'm paying for my guests. FH and my parents are splitting all vendor costs and my parents are buying my dress as well.

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Originally, the plan was that everything would be split right in the middle between his folks' and my folks costs.

After realizing that I have almost 3x as many guests being invited than FH does, we decided that my 'rents would pay for the hall, and his would do some of the extras (limos, etc).

Reading all these brides on this topic really makes me feel blessed and more appreciative of our parents.