I need advice

Ok so i need everyones opinion because i have no idea what to do. So i was married once before in 2009 which didnt last very long amd was a huge mistake. I had a shower and everything with my first marriage. Now i about to get married in Novemeber to a wonderful man who is truly my soulmate. Here enters the problem.
My future mother and sister in law are adamant that i should have a shower because they want to give my FH and i everything. They are offended that i didnt want a shower this time around, but this is a first for them. I didnt want a shower bc i thought it was selfish of me to have another shower. My mother, sister, and two of my present bridesmaids have already thrown me a shower for my first marriage. I felt guilty asking to do this again and those that attend to give a gift. We didnt even register anywhere bc we have everything we need and have already been living with each other for two years.
I feel like if there is a small shower others will be offended they werent invited and yet i didnt want a bg shower bc that is a financial burden on the ladies that threw me and guests that attended the shower the first time around. What do i do?

I need advice

Honestly, I think you need to do whatever makes you the most comfortable. My best friend is in a similar situation except her fiance is divorced as well. Since it's the second wedding for both of them she did not want a shower. If your fiance's family is really that offended about you not having a shower then they can throw you their own shower for people on his side of the family.

I need advice

How well do you get along with your future in-laws? Enough to be honest and up front? I wonder if you expressed to them that you do not want to put your mom/family etc. in an uncomfortable position but understand that they want the experience of attending a shower for their future daughter in law. It is unrealistic to say 'You should do this, we want to see this for you' and then not offer to help when you express your reason for hesitation. In the end, if they are adamant about it then hopefully THEY would be open to hosting a small brunch with just people from his side of the family and your mom/bridal party. If this is more for them than their job is to make it happen and your job is to show up and be gracious and grateful that they care enough to welcome you into their family in that way!

I need advice

I say take them up on their offer. Invite your friends and family as well and express to them you'd like their presence at your shower and they do not have to bring a gift or anything monetary. Just let your in laws enjoy showering you and ask them to just follow your rules if you don't want it to be a 'BIG' celebration and politely explain to them your feelings about having another shower.
If you are extremely adamant about not wanting the shower, I'd have a sit down with both of them and kindly explain your views. If they don't understand, then you did your part and it's your wedding.

Re: I need advice

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Posted by Kristy1226

Ok so i need everyones opinion because i have no idea what to do. So i was married once before in 2009 which didnt last very long amd was a huge mistake. I had a shower and everything with my first marriage. Now i about to get married in Novemeber to a wonderful man who is truly my soulmate. Here enters the problem.
My future mother and sister in law are adamant that i should have a shower because they want to give my FH and i everything. They are offended that i didnt want a shower this time around, but this is a first for them. I didnt want a shower bc i thought it was selfish of me to have another shower. My mother, sister, and two of my present bridesmaids have already thrown me a shower for my first marriage. I felt guilty asking to do this again and those that attend to give a gift. We didnt even register anywhere bc we have everything we need and have already been living with each other for two years.
I feel like if there is a small shower others will be offended they werent invited and yet i didnt want a bg shower bc that is a financial burden on the ladies that threw me and guests that attended the shower the first time around. What do i do?

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It is a lot to think about. First off as a Bride this should be your happy time regardless if it's the first or second. Second, you and your FH should enjoy all the parts of wedding planning together. You don't have to register for items, you can do a home improvement or honeymoon registry. Or you can simply not register at all and just have a ladies lunch where people can just come and spend the time with you. Rather than give you gifts that may make you feel bad. I know a lot of brides that have done 'showers' that were gift less because of their own situations. It just ends up being a party to enjoy. This way your future MIL and SIL can have this time to do something special for them and you guys but it isn't a full blown shower all over again. I hope that helps. Enjoy the rest of this wedding planning no matter what.

I need advice

Thank you so much for your response ladies!