include cousins in bridal party?

Hi everyone! I've been checking out LI Weddings for a while but don't really post often. But FH and I are having trouble deciding who to have in our bridal party and I hoped maybe you ladies could offer your opinions. We have 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen right now. I have 4 cousins (2 girls and 2 guys) who we're not sure if we want to include in the bridal party or not on top of the 6 we already have. We think it'd be fun to include them but I am not really close with any of them. Everyone is around the same age so there isn't anyone much older or much younger than the others. Originally we wanted a small intimate BP with those who are closest to us but we also feel it'd be fun to include the cousins because whenever we cousins do get together we have a good time. We've been so indecisive about this. However, my sister (who is a matron of honor) does not get along with one of the girl cousins. Also, my parents really want me to include at least one cousin, but I don't feel right including just one, I'd have to ask nobody or all of them. Do you ladies have any suggestions about what to do? I'd appreciate any advice, thanks very much and sorry for the long post!

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

this is YOUR day, so if you want to include all your cousins (and it sounds like you really do want this), then you should. If your sister has a problem with of your cousins, tell her ahead of time to keep the problem to herself and act professionally to not ruin YOUR day. She doesn't have to be lovey dovey with the cousin, but she should speak and act politely towards her.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

i say don't include them.

i had the same situation as you, but i just didn't want a huge bridal party. and i know you're in the initial joys of wedding planning, but a large bridal party can be a big pain in the *** and you should keep it as simple as possible.

perhas your cousins could do a reading, hand out programs etc. etc. i don't think they need to be in your party, particularly since you're not that close with them, JMO

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

Don't feel obligated to include them in your BP. Its your day and if you would prefer a smaller BP then keep it that way, just remember the more people, the more headaches there are. I'm sure your cousins wouldn't care either way. and don't let your parents pressure you into things, if you let one thing go, they start in on other stuff...

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

I personally think its best to keep your bp small and people you are very close with. There are many other ways to include them and make them feel special without asking them to be part of your bp.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

Its your day do what you want and have who you want. I am not having any family (MOH is my sister) but no one else is. I am having a cousin and FH little brother do readings. How about that?

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

I'm kinda in the same situation. I have two female cousins on the same side of the family. I'm really close to one of them and really want her to be in my bp, but i have almost no relationship with the other one. I think I may opt to have both in the bp because I really want to include the one I'm close wtih. But I agree with the other girls, if you're not close with them, stick to a small bp. Much less drama...and theres already SO MUCH drama involved in wedding planning that you should do as much as possible to limit it by all means. If it's EXTREMELY important to your mom, do it to satisfy her.

Basically, you have to weigh the drama outcomes. Is it going to cause more drama to deal with a large bp or to tell your mom that they wont be in the bp?

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

i had a similar situation..i am including a cousin but she wasnt the issue. i'm good friends with my brother's ex gf from about 7 years ago and his current gf is in my party. i really wanted to include the ex but didnt know what to do.
everyone told me its MY DAY and i should make ME happy. i advise you to do the same. it would be selfish of your sister to cause problems on YOUR wedding day because she doesnt get along with your cousin. this day isnt about them and everyone should suck it up and put on a happy face for YOU. its YOUR day!!!

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

June LI Bride if your wedding is really in Jun 2014 I would wait until your time gets closer to ask. There might be different family/friends you might be closer to at that time.
Just my opinion.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

---

Posted by donegal419

i say don't include them.

i had the same situation as you, but i just didn't want a huge bridal party. and i know you're in the initial joys of wedding planning, but a large bridal party can be a big pain in the *** and you should keep it as simple as possible.

perhas your cousins could do a reading, hand out programs etc. etc. i don't think they need to be in your party, particularly since you're not that close with them, JMO

---

ITA-you can still have fun with them even if they arent in the BP, they can be invited to the showers/parties etc. even tho they arent in the BP.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

I wouldn't include them. I have 2 cousins (both girls, one is 10 years younger, the other is 5 years younger), and while I love them, I'm not very close to them. I knew I didn't want to expand my bridal party, but I did want them involved in some way. So I had them walk my Grandfather down the aisle - it worked out perfectly.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

It's up to you... I have 4 first cousins (1 girl, 3 guys) and we grew up together although I'm the oldest. I decided to ask my one female first cousin to be a bridesmaid (she's 17). I didn't ask the others because we're not as close, and because bridesmaids are in 'my' bridal party and groomsmen are in FH's bridal party.

She was really excited, and I also dont think the guys cared. (they are 15, 16 and 20).

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

I'm having most of my girl cousins in my BP, but I'm very close to them. It was a no-brainer.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

I would say to think about what YOU and Fh want. If its a small intimate bridal party then don't have them. But if you really want to include them in your day (pictures, etc.) that would be great to include them. Don't worry about what parents or MOH think or say because this is you and your fh's wedding. I included cousins in my bridal party but only because we're very close. If we weren't as close I think it would be a different story.

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

Don't include - it sounds as if you have more reservations than not about having them in. It will be more intimate, like you wanted with the people you have now, and there's no need to add the cousins and have the BP not get along or fight. Besides, it'll be cheaper for you and all your gift giving! good luck!

Re: include cousins in bridal party?

Thanks so much for your input everyone! It's been very helpful. I'm now more inclined with keeping the smaller bridal party but give the cousins special roles so they can still be an important part of the day. And also have a couple separate pictures with them too.