Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

Sadly, one of my brother's does not have a good relationship with our Mom and basically blocked her from all things wedding up to and including his wedding day a few year's back. So, my SIL only danced with her father.

However, if you want to do a special dance, and not with your brother, how about with your grandma? OR, my SIL did a special dance with all of her bridesmaids to Faith Hill's 'I'll be There'

Good luck and sorry to hear of your loss! We'll be here to help you with anything along the way!

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

Thanks everyone for all your thoughtful responses!
FMIL and I get along pretty well, but FH is her oldest, and the first one getting married - I tried to feel her out about the issue awhile ago and she said it was my call, but I could tell she would be crushed, and I just couldn't take that moment away from her. So, I want her and FH to have their dance, and I really am OK with that, but I would really just like to skip the father/daughter dance and wanted to make sure it wasn't weird - I guess I was worried it would lead to Q's and gossip, neither of which I want to deal with on my wedding day. I think you girls have made me realize I'm probably not giving my guests enough credit and that people would be sensitive to the situation. Thanks for all your advice!

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

I went to a wedding where the bride did not have a father dance song but they did have the son and mother dance. It wasn't weird at all. Everyone understood the situation.

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

I don't think it would be strange to just have your FH dance with his mom if that's what you want to do But I also think as others suggested. What about doing a slow dance with your FH and dedicate it to your parents. In your dad's absence your FH is the one that will protect you so I think it would be appropriate to dance with him. HTH.

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

Would you dance with your grandma? If she's walking you down the aisle - would you dance with her too?

I wanted to give you some

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

first I am sorry for all you have had to go thru- I lost my Mom- and planning the wedding was harder with out her- especially with the inconsiderate comments I recieved from vendors-

personally I would want to skip it all together- it's nice- but not the most important thing about the wedding- your feelings are- it's your wedding and you shouldn't feel upset

but if you decide to let them have the mother/son dance- I wouldn't dance with anyone else-

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

Would you dance with your grandma? If she's walking you down the aisle - would you dance with her too?

I wanted to give you some

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My grandma's unsteady on her feet (she really hurt herself a few years ago), and may not end up even walking me down the aisle - that'll depend how she feels that day - but the thought of dancing really worries her, much moreso than walking, so unfortunately that's not an option. But I'm ok with FH just having his dance with FMIL. I'll think about doing a dedication song at some point in the evening, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. - need some more time to mull it over.

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

you know.. just when I think I have a difficult thing to go through.. I read something like this..

hmmmmm..... I think I would either dance with a close guy friend or uncle....

or nothing at all... I think it would be ok to just not do it and go into another dance after....

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

I don't have a dad and I don't want to do the father/daughter dance, so someone suggested that FH can dance with FMIL but not as a separate dance where they clear the fllor, just in the middle, they'll play a special song and they cna discreetly dance.

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

There are many great suggestions on here, but if you dont want to dance then you shouldn't. Ideas of a dedication song is very sweet! but again up to you... you should not worry about gossip, remember gossip is mainly filling for people who have nothing important to talk about but others! We are all guilty of it, some to a greater extent than others.. but you should not be concerned with gossip on your wedding day no matter what choices you make... in such a personal situation everyone will understand and be sensitive.

In thinking about your post, the song 'I'll be in your heart' comes to mind...

do what makes you happy, i have considered not having the Groom/mom and bride/father dances just because i dont like the attention and a part of me is kind a blah about it, we both love our parents, but i just feel like it is another wedding 'formality'... but i know my FMIL would NOT be ok with that and would rant and rave... so, whatever you do, do.. wont be weird!

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

MY FH mom passed away 3 years ago and he is just going to skip that dance. I am still going to dance with my father. I spoke to him about is and he was fine with it.

You have to do what is going to make you feel ok.

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

both of my parents are deceased as well..and yes this is such such such a bittersweet time...that unless you are in the situation ,,, i can only imagine how hard it is to understand.

my aunt is walking me down the aisle..but she as well is unsteady on her feet due to health issues adn may not be able to do a dance with me.

personally what i am going to do is have the dj play a song for the two of us...but if she cannot dance.... i will sit with her and hug etc :) its a special song for the both of us.

i am not having a stand in for the father daughter dance...but i am having fh and his mom share a dance. i do not want to take away from what they have bc of what i do not have.

i too was going to walk myself down the aisle...but if my aunt can..i will do that.

no one will replace my parents. and i wont try to.

yes..its amazing how much getting married is hitting a nerve with me in regards to lack of parents. just when you think you are dealing well..here comes the wierd feeling while planning a wedding

feel free to fm me.... i dont know many other brides in the same situation as i...

big hugs to you!!!!!

xoxox

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

i know what you feel...my father also past away 3 years ago ....i asked my god father to walk be down the isle but you know what I still miss him and he 's not going to be there ....i already told my mom that i will be crying and walking in the church.........same thing with father doughter dance.......sad........

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

My father is not coming to my wedding, I have decided to skip the dance. FH and FMIL will definitely have their dance. FH father passed away, so they have a special relationship. I don't think it's weird at all. You do what you feel cofortable with!

Re: Kind of personal, but I need some advice...

Would you be willing to dance with your FFIL???????? That would be awesome

If you dont feel okay with this, I think it is okay just for your hubby and his ma to dance