Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

I think you need these!!!!! I wish I could give you real ones!!!

Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

Sadly, sometimes you have to know when enough is enough, even with family. I don't have any specific advice, but I can share with you my own experience.

After I had to pay for my mother's plane ticket here to go to my shower, I said enough. I didn't even bother to invite her to help me get ready the morning of the wedding. And I'm glad, there was no drama and I loved spending time with my girls who have always been there and will always be there. My mother didn't go to the rehearsal dinner (she told me she wasn't and I never bothered to ask why) and left my wedding with her husband early. She's never come to visit me since she left my Dad when I was in HS. Not in college, not in the eleven years since I graduated HS. I don't hold the leaving (my Dad) against her, that's her business (although he is the best Dad ever), its the part where she never bothered to put effort into seeing me. You know what? Her loss. She should offer.

I'm pretty much done going out of my way. I am kind to her, but I don't really extend myself on her behalf anymore-I thought paying her ticket to be here for my shower (which she never even asked to help with) would show her how I'd like her to be involved, talking to her about the wedding, even putting her name on the invite when she didn't give me dime. No, she's pretty cold to me. So I'm done. When kids come she'll have to make it her perrogative to share that time with me, I'm not going to do it for her.

You will know when you're done extending the olive branch, when you've had enough. I'm not telling you to stop trying, I didn't for a long time.

Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

Wow! I feel the same way too. I have tried for many years to make a relationship work.
I flew to Florida EVERY year to be with her, sometimes twice a year. recently I can not afford going and that is when I had not seen her. She promised to come last year and never came. She came this year but more caused I laid a guilt trip on here.
All my friends have thier mothers for things and I look at that and feel really lonesome for a mother sometimes. A side note is that I was abandoned at birth from my biological mother. My adopted mother left when I was 16 and I just wished she knew how much I had wanted a mother to do all these wedding things since FH is not interested in..it kinda ***** doing all this by myself.
After this incident I will stop trying with her, FMIL is very receptive and just came home from talking to her for hours. I know it is not the same thing but I just wish someday my mother would realize she was needed by me more.

Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

I hope it all works out.

However, this experience will most likely keep you very close to your children so they do not experience what you had to.....



See how things sometimes happen for their own reasons that end up in a good way.....

Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

I am so sorry. I don't see why she can't celebrate her husband's birthday the following weekend. This is her daughters bridal shower. The last wedding I was in we had the shower five months a head of time. We had a few ooters and it was easier to do it when everyone would be in. Also it helped space out all the wedding cost. (bridal shower, gift, bacholette party, etc) Good luck. I hope it all works out.

Re: Mama Drama..Sorry it is long..

I don't mind the shower being so far ahead, I am over that, it is my mom that is hurting me by complaining about the date to everyone including me.