Re: Personal-Housing situation

There are 1 bedroom apartments in Washington Heights for less than 1k.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

You may also want to post on the Career Board of LIF: Career Board

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

Arosa, I would suggest posting what kind of work you are qualified for. There are posters or lurkers who might know about job openings. Since you are able to get online, I would post your resume all over the place. If your time is limited, I would be happy to help you get it listed online- like monster.com and email it to temp agencies and such.

Imo, your first priority should be finding an apartment. A wedding is a luxury.

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That is such a sweet gesture...and I agree on all points! A wedding is a luxury.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by arosa

See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not 'cho

sen' for them.

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So youre willing to spend half of your life savings, on a wedding, and continue to live in a homeless shelter?

I swear, I dont believe any of this. And I was just reading through your other posts (Yes I did a search), and you have already bought wedding items, etc. You're having the wedding, so why are you even asking our opinion?

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I have to say this post has really offended me. Where are your priorities? YOU HAVE A CHILD AND YOU LIVE IN A HOMELESS SHELTER. Take your 10k and get an appartment. Go to the justice of the peace and get married. Also keep in mind that they have housing lotteries so you can buy a house for 100k. Unfortuantely, my FH and I make too much for those lotteries but we don't make enough to actually buy a decent house out here. The last one we looked into says your combined salary has to be less than 40k.

So tomorrow I will work hard to make my money and pay my taxes so you can get your masters while living in a shelter. That's just great.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by Kris77

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Posted by arosa

See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not 'cho

sen' for them.

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So youre willing to spend half of your life savings, on a wedding, and continue to live in a homeless shelter?

I swear, I dont believe any of this. And I was just reading through your other posts (Yes I did a search), and you have already bought wedding items, etc. You're having the wedding, so why are you even asking our opinion?

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I am curious, where in the shelter do you store your wedding items?

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

I am curious, where in the shelter do you store your wedding items?

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Good question! And as a mother, who had to take out a second mortgage on my home to make sure my daughter had what she needed, what kind of message are you sending your son? What are you teaching him by remaining in a shelter to afford a wedding? I've been looking into apartments for my girlfriend in queens and long island. apartments are as low as $600 a month and asking only 2 months security. That is only $1800 leaving you with $8200. I could not live with myself if I chose a wedding over my daughter's well-being. How can you?

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Wow! Absolutely shocking! I've always dreamed of a big wedding but if I were in your situation I would be much more concerned about finding a SAFE place to call home. I'm shocked that you are more concerned about a party that will last for 4 hours. I agree with the other comment. Get married at the justice of the peace.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I live at home with my parents and work full time and still have a hard time saving money.
If you have such a bad paying job, a child and live in a homeless shelter, how did you save $10,000. Plus you think your FH has saved even more. You must not be doing to bad.

Maybe you should consider moving out of New York once you get your masters. It would be easier to by a house and have a wedding. The city is one of the most expensive places to live. Where are your priorities?

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I don't know. I am 34 years old with two degrees on my wall, a home, health insurance etc and I don't have 10 grand in the bank. If I can dig myself out of thousands of $$$ worth of debt, then anyone can. USe the money wisely and make a good choice. In your heart you know the right thing to do.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Hi. I just wanted to say you're really brave for posting this, and I see you're doing a lot to improve the situation.

I think the most simple and important thing is to get FH to talk to you about money. If you're going to be married you need to know. you need to know exactyl how much money he has and how much he's willing to give you.

If yure going for your masters, that means you have a Bachelor's..is there not a better job you can get? I know a lot of people making 50-70K right out of college. Maybe you can look for a better job, maybe you FH can get a PT job while he looks for a better paying FT job.

I want to say that i COMPLETELY understand your need and desire to have a party to celebrate your wedding. I really do. I'm going through a lot right now (not as much as you are probably, but..), and all common sense would tell me to not have a big wedidng, or postpone it etc, but with all of the sad things my family is going through, we just NEED a happy thing right now, we NEED a party of some kind.

You said your FH has at leasta s much $$ saved you do, right? So let's say for arguments sake you each have $10K.

What if he used his $10K to pay for an apartment for a year (you may be able to prepay a lease and save $$)...I know ther are aparttns out there for less than $1000. Then you have an apartment for a year, you're safe, you know where you're living and THEN, you can spent a percentage of your $10K on the wedding. If you have it at a KoC and limit the number of people, maybe you can do it for under $5K and have the rest left over to start buying a few things for your apt.

So what I'm saying is, use his $10K for an apt, use part of your $10K for the wedding.

Also, where are you going to grad school? A lot of programs offer married or family housing, so you can move into a college apt with your family and that may be more affordable than an outside apt.

Best of luck. let me know if there's any way I can help

Re: Personal-Housing situation

We are financially strained ourselves, but if it came down to it and we had a choice of living in a shelter or having a wedding...I would scrap the idea of a wedding...tempoarily. 1st priority should be a home...especially if you have a child. Then, being that you are getting your masters and obviously will probably get into a higher paying job later, later on...when you are on your feet have a wedding. I understand everyone needs 'good things' in your life, but if your situation is that dire you have no choice but to put the wedding on hold. All in all it is just a party...it can wait. I am curious...you said you are in your masters now? Yet, you were able to bank away $10000? How? Masters programs are all loans...no other aid. Even if you went to an inexpensive school (like SUNY/CUNY) they will only offer you in loan a percentage over your tuition bill. For example if your bill is only $2000, you can only take out an additional $1000 over your bill. If you do have $10,000 in the bank you should use it to get on your feet, not finance a wedding. JMO. I wish you luck though.

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Not for nothing...but you live in a shelter with a child no less...why are you even thinking about a wedding????
Don't you feel ashamed that you're worried about how you're going to have a wedding when you can't even afford to get a place of your own...

Why don't you think about getting back on your feet and getting situated in your life AND then think about a wedding...

Like someone else said...I'll go to work and bust my butt so people like you can live in a shelter, work on getting their master's degree at the same time and worry about how they are going to afford their
wedding...

FH & I both work, we have no one handing us money for anything wedding related, we don't have a house and I am also in school working on my degree...so I'm not going to feel sorry that you have $10,000 saved up and can't have a house and a wedding at the same time...sorry jmo

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by arosa

See this is what I did not want to happen. It's not a joke. And for this to be thought of as a joke hurts my feeling. Let me tell you, my reception will probably cost about $5000. That does not even pay for 5 months of rent in Brooklyn. We looked for apartments- 1 bedrooms. We went to see them and we were not 'chosen' for them.

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do you have to live in Brooklyn? There are plenty of decent apartments in Queens that are very affordable....

Even if your wedding costs $5000- that is $5000 that should go to your CHILD...

My mother raised me in a 1 bedroom apartment that was falling down around us- but it was ours... and we didn't have a lot of things and she certainly never gave herself a $5000 party.

It ***** you can't do what you want to right now- but you need to get a place to live and suck it up.

Your FH HAS to get a job- when my DH was laid off he worked at PATHMARK just to bring in the money.

We aren't flaming you for living in a shelter- but it IS sort of mind boggling that you would even think about hosting a party in your current situation.

And quote frankly, as a tax payer, it pisses me off that you have $10k to throw a party but can't use that to put a roof over your head.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Sassyz75
And quote frankly, as a tax payer, it pisses me off that you have $10k to throw a party but can't use that to put a roof over your head.

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...not only your head, YOUR CHILD'S!!! I've been watching this post for the last 2 days and holding off on commenting. I did not want to pass any judgment but now I cannot resist. Like another member on here, I did a search under your screen name and found that...

NOT ONLY HAVE YOU ALREADY PURCHASED A GOWN FOR YOUR WEDDING BUT ALSO A DRESS FOR THE RECEPTION!!!!


That is ridiculous! This HAS to be a joke!!! No one in their right mind would be okay with having their child live in a shelter and still be planning a wedding. Your child needs a safe and secure environment to grow up in and you are worried about a wedding??? As a mother I find this to be totally apalling!!! This wedding can wait. Get your life together and stop being so selfish. Everyone has to make sacrafices in life. This is a sacrafice that you have to make. Do you realize that the $5000 that you say would be the cost of your wedding can buy you several months in an apartment? TRY HARDER to find one!!!

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Ok, now I'm REALLY confused. You either have $10K saved or it's for school..which is it?

And you bought TWO dresses already, W T F?

There'a an apartment on my block for $750/mo!!!!!!

I really got upset wth everyone for flaming you and passing judgement, but now I'm trying to add it all up in my head. I'm thinking about how neither one of me ofr FH can fford to gt our master's for several years..and he makes a lot of money.

I'm starting to think there's something I'm really missing here.

If I didn't have to pay rent, I'd be able to go to grad school too!! And if you have a bachelor's, you are capable of making enough $$ to pay rent!!!!! even if your $5K will only get you 5 months, in that 5 months you'll be working to pay rent for the next 5 months.

I'm with you ladies..this is getting bizairre.

but if you DO have $20K in the bank betweenm you and FH, GET AN APARTMENT. let your child grow up in a real home..if you hve monley left, then throw the party, like I said earlier, but with that kind of $$, there's NO reason to be living in a shelter..and if you DON'T have the $$ and you DO need to be in a shelter, then a wedding party is NOT your first priorityt, much less TWO gowns?

I really don't want to judge, like I said I know why you want a aprty, and I think if you DO have $20K, go ahead and have a small wedding, but for god's sake get your son the hell out of the homeless shelter

Re: Personal-Housing situation

Hello, if this is accurate, I truly hope things work out for you.
However, there are a few things I (most of us) are confussed about.
You had mentioned that you make too much for financial aid, or something like that. So you got loans.
But my question is: If you make too much for that, wouldn't you make too much then to live in a shelter? I thought homeless shelters are for people who have no money. How could they allow you to live in a shelter with money in the bank (at least 10K but probably more)?
Isn't there a family memebr that you can live with for a little bit?
I don't want to knock shelter life, I have a few students who live in them, but if you have the funds to get out, then why don't you? Especially with a baby. I don't want to pass judgement because I don't know the whole situation, I don't live in your shoes, but JMO of course, if I were you, I would put this wedding on hold, pool together my funds, and find a place to live.
I also would not be buying things for a wedding, I would be buying for my child. If you really want a great wedding, then wait until you can afford it so then you can really enjoy it.
I hope things work out for you and your family.
Good Luck

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I had written a long response to this, but I was just getting more and more annoyed as I put words together. Anyone who applauds you should check out your post history on here.

I spent yesterday at an awards ceremony for Safe Horizons, honoring women who have done everything in their power to provide a safe environment for their children. Some women went without food and walked miles to a menial job to save money and provide for their kids. How dare you put your child in the situation you are in now when you quite obviously have the means to improve your circumstances.

Re: Personal-Housing situation

I took the advise of others and searched for some of your previous posts...

1. Parasols for your outdoor wedding?....hmmm

2. Where are you typing away on this computer?... According to one of your posts you were installing spyware...I've never seen anyone do that on a public computer!

3. This is one of my favorite posts... AND I QUOTE:
'Hey mama!! Ok, I would say yes if it is reasonable. I love cosmos and apple martinis are great. People will definetly remember that. I would rememebr that. I am a lush too. Your wedding sounds like so much fun!!! Shlt, I wish I were going!! Have the bar!! That is people drink the most in my opinion. Keep the lines to a minimum.'

4. Lets not forget two seperate dresses!

5. I love the link to your knot bio... hmm...where did you try on that dress in your photo? In the shelter? I didn't know a shelter had radios, trophies, and to quote again: 'My gold comb which I loved and probably paid too much for on Ebay, but I could not stop bidding on it cuz I thought it would go perfect with my dress.'

Why would you post something like this?

Like many other LIW Brides said 'Where is your priorities?'

ETA: 6. (Quoting again from LIW post...)
'Question:
How did you make them? They came out beautiful. I would love to have them as asecond favor for the wedding.' WOW - TWO FAVORS????!!!! How about making a donation to the shelter you're living at?!?!?!!?

7. 'Love Family Business. I think it is so funny. Cousin Stevie (Ihtink that is his name) is hilarious. Is there a new season. MOm decided to take out Showtime. When I get cble I am so getting Showtime. I hate where I live.' Sounds like your living at home with Mom...not at a shelter?...

8. 'If I had the internet where I live, I would so be on when I go home. Unfortunately, I thought I was slick and boguhta laptop and thought I could catch the signal of a job center nearby. Sike!! I can barely get a bar. When I do, nothing. That is why I procrastinating. I need to go home!!' - Laptop too!...WOW!

Re: Personal-Housing situation

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Posted by IrishBride-05

I had written a long response to this, but I was just getting more and more annoyed as I put words together. Anyone who applauds you should check out your post history on here.

I spent yesterday at an awards ceremony for Safe Horizons, honoring women who have done everything in their power to provide a safe environment for their children. Some women went without food and walked miles to a menial job to save money and provide for their kids. How dare you put your child in the situation you are in now when you quite obviously have the means to improve your circumstances.

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arosa - READ THIS POST! Read it until you can't see anymore... This is what real wonderful mother's do for their children.