Re: Problem, Need different opinions

I would put a lot of thought into it....if you think he may turn down the invitation, that would just be another let down so be sure of your decision. I never thought I would be upset by the thought that my father would not be present at my wedding and even though he is still a shmuck but as it gets closer -- it hurts and a lot of old feelings are coming back - but I am used to it -- and it will hurt just as it did for my 16th bday and my 18th bday and my 21st bday and my HS and college graduations and he was no where around....

Re: Problem, Need different opinions

Re: Problem, Need different opinions

Do you think you will regret it in the long run, not to have pics of him at your wedding? At least if you send the invite you know you tried. Do you think he will be upset if he wasn't invited?

FH's father was a swinger before he met FH's mom and has kids I think in almost every continent. One of them got married and never sent him an invite. SUPPOSEDLY the invite was sent, but noone called the father to see if he received it and if he was going to the wedding. We all know it was never sent. FFIL is not a very warm person and really doesn't have a relationship with his children. He was very offended and very upset about the whole ordeal. Although the last time he had seen his sone was over 5 years ago, he said he would have gone to the wedding because that is his son.

Just a story to let you know the other side of the spectrum.

Re: Problem, Need different opinions

Thanks, I probably will send invite, just to show face.

Re: Problem, Need different opinions

I can't relate to your situation, but I can tell a story that may influence your decision.

My FH stepsister went throught the exact situation you are going through. She did not want her father at the wedding, but invited him anyway. Her next dilemna was who would walk her down the aisle. She chose both her mom and dad. She then decided that she did not want to dance with her father at the wedding, and that she would dance with her mother. Soon after, she made the decision to dance with he father at the wedding. She now, keeps in close contact with her father and they have resolved their differences. Had she decided not to invite him to the wedding, she would have shut the door to a resolution.

The situation that you are in is a difficult one. Just be careful that you do not make an abrupt decision that you may end up regretting someday.

Good luck with making your decision!

wacky you have FM

Re: wacky you have FM

I have also had a painful life in the way my father has chosen his wife of now 22 years,my father became less of a father once mom died of cancer when i wa seven.He remarried 6 months later tryinig to replace mom & he married a complete monster my father hasn't been in my life much for the last 2 years he will not attend my wedding of course i wish things were different but i am tired of feeeling rejected.I guess i think its better to be w/out him right now instead of wondering if he'llcall when he says or come to see me.Life has been hard enough being a motherless daughter.I wish nothing but the best for my dad and hope he someday relizes all he missed.Wacky whatever decision you make im sure it will be best for you LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU!

Re: wacky you have FM

Allure,

Im sorry. Life can be hard at times, and it ****s. Surround yourself with those whom you love and keep the negative out. It works, just every now and then saddness seems to arise.

Its unfortunate but life is still wonderful and you have one someone whom you love.

We will enjoy our wedding days and the beautiful memories will outweigh the bad

Re: wacky you have FM

Thanks Wacky

Re: wacky you have FM

wacky ... to you to help you make a very difficult decision.

allure ... to you also ... I agree with you that one day your dad will be very sorry to have made some bad decisions in his life.