Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I'm going BM dress shopping on Friday and wanted to get your thoughts on this. All my etiquette books say that female guests (and I'm guessing this means the BP too) should only wear floor length, formal dresses for an evening, black tie wedding. But I'm wondering if this is really the case? Thanks!

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

Yes-guests should wear floor length. I don't know if younger guests would know that.

So of course, you could do waht ever you want, but if you Bms wear tea length, they may be more casually dresed than the guests.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

If it's Black Tie Optional, the tea length will be fine, if it's strictly Black Tie, I would say no to the tea length.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I went to a black tie wedding this past Saturday night and there were guests in tea length dresses. One lady wore a skirt suit.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

It is absolutely appropriate. It is passe to only wear gowns for black tie now.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I think the style of the dress is what's appropriate and not the length. I got this same protest from my family when looking for BM dresses. Look at Alvina Valenta's website and you'll see some really formal gowns (including bridal gowns) that are tea length.
Alvina Valenta

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I think it is hard enough to find really nice BM dresses.. I would let my girls wear tea length.. I am having black tie only, but if the fabric is nice, etc.. I am letting them pick their own dresses- all from the same lot.. Some will be long, some tea length- but I will not go above that..

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I think if you're asking your guests to wear black tie (which is what you're doing, even if it says 'optional' or 'preferred', then the bridal party should definitely be in black tie, which means a sloor length gown. I've spent a LOT of money on gowns for black tie weddings and likewise FH on a tux, and I'd feel really upset if I spent $300 on a dress, plus shoes, hair, etc for a 'black tie' wedding and I showed up and I saw that not even the BM's could bother to dress in black tie. I'd be really annoyed at the money i'd spent and I'd also feel awkward and overdressed, b/c I shoudnt be more dressed up than the BP. You don't want to make your guests feel awkward. if you don't want you, the groom, the BP and your families to wear black tie, then you shouldn't put your wedding forward as a black tie event. That's not fair to the guests and it actually doens't make any sense/

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

Also, I understand that it is difficult to find BM dresses. However, it's also difficult for a guest to find a dress for a black tie affair. I don't think ballgown only is passe, especially for the BM's and immediate family. They should be the most formally attired and should follow convention even where guests need not, that's JMHO.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

If it's a black tie or black tie optional, the BP should be in floor-length gowns and tuxedos. The BP sets the tone for the wedding and they should not be less dressed than the guests.

It's harder to dictate what the guests should wear. However, male guests should wear a tuxedo if it's black tie. If it's black tie optional, they can wear either a tuxedo or a dark suit.

For black tie, female guests should wear floor length gowns but I've also seen cocktail dresses.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

OK i have to put my 2 cents in... i had this question recently on the newlyweds board... i am invited to a black tie on a sat night and have a tea-length puffy-ish dress i wanted to wear... I asked a friend who works in the fashion industry (my guru) and she said that is totally outdated idea i would have to war floor length and of course i can wear it... she said think sarah jessica parker... wear strappy shoes though to dressy it up she suggested.

Re: Tea Length Appropriate for BMs at Black Tie Wedding?

I recently went to a black-tie wedding and all the men were in tuxedos, but the women were not all in floor length gowns. I wore a tea-lenth black dress and dressed it up with jewelry and a nice silk wrap. I felt totally comfortable. Although every time we talk about this wedding, FH claims he could have worn a suit because he saw men in dark suits they were the photographers (I have to remind him of this every time!)

That said, I think if you are having a black-tie wedding, your BMs set the stage and most people would probably say that they not be in tea-length dresses, especially those that are more old-fashioned. BUT its your wedding!!!!