Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by Kimbalina

I am giving my honest opinion here..

Your wedding is in 3 years. Not 9 months, not 18 months.. I think you might be over reacting. Think about it.. How much some people do change in 3 years. If this is something that you are going to be sitting around thinking of while you plan to marry the man of your dreams etc... then this person has already won.

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D to the ITTTO

i think you're worrying waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to soon about this stuff. and honestly--who cares if she did plan her baby around that time?? you don't think that people could go to your wedding the same week she delivers a child? i don't think i understand the correlation.

file this under 'Can't control so why care?' and move on...no worries.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by chakrasdeosil

Thanks to all of you who have posted, you have all made me feel better, we were considering pushin up the date as far as possible, but like someone else said, what goes around comes around and I think if push comes to shove, I will be forced to talk to her and put her straight, the manipulating cant go on any longer.

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i seriously just have to ask this---what is you talking to her and 'putting her straight' gonna do?? are you seriously gonna tell her 'you are NOT ALLOWED to have a baby the week of my wedding!!!!' you don't think it will make things worse??

i swear I am not trying to be mean--and I'm sure you have all kinds of issues with this person and its making you upset----BUT you are seriously thinking that she will be in LABOR the EXACT day of your wedding and are getting mad at the thought. do you understand how much of a freaking rare occurrence that would be??? and yes you can get ovulating calendars---but head over to the TTC board on LIFamilies and you'll see that those don't always work the way you want, and sometimes getting pregnant isn't the easiest thing.

so don't think you have to have a 'talk' with her to straighten her out---cause the chance of her being in labor on the EXACT day of your wedding....c'mon --take a step back and realize how silly that sounds!

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

While I understand the pre-wedding stress building up, etc., I think its almost illogical to focus on this possibility so intently, for all the reasons above, sure, but moreso, and I don't mean this to sound b*tchy, but if I were your FSIL and were *intent* on stealing the spotlight from you on your day, there are about 3,457,389 EASIER ways to go about it than than 'planning' to have a baby on your wedding day.

Of course, she really may be insane, but if that's true, why are you trying to match wits with her?
Its going to be a long 3 years if this you're going to play headgames with a psycho, no?

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I have an idea since shes so smart and might get pregnant 9 months before your wedding why dont you stay one step ahead of her and spike her drinks and food with birth control!!!

If she manages to work out having a baby on your exact wedding date, WOW ...

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by chakrasdeosil

Thanks to all of you who have posted, you have all made me feel better, we were considering pushin up the date as far as possible, but like someone else said, what goes around comes around and I think if push comes to shove, I will be forced to talk to her and put her straight, the manipulating cant go on any longer.

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you are seriously thinking that she will be in LABOR the EXACT day of your wedding and are getting mad at the thought. do you understand how much of a freaking rare occurrence that would be??? and yes you can get ovulating calendars---but head over to the TTC board on LIFamilies and you'll see that those don't always work the way you want, and sometimes getting pregnant isn't the easiest thing.

so don't think you have to have a 'talk' with her to straighten her out---cause the chance of her being in labor on the EXACT day of your wedding....c'mon --take a step back and realize how silly that sounds!

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DITTO. Go take a look at the TTC Board on LIF. There are girls on there who have tried every method in the book and still, unfortunately, cannot get pregnant, OR, don't get pregnant the first, second, third or tenth time they try, no matter how many calendars or ovulation predictor kits they use. Getting pregnant is not an exact science. Seriously, I'm not discounting how evil this person may be, but your wedding is not for another 3 years and the chances of someone getting pregant EXACTLY at the timeline they really want to are slim to none. You have many more things to worry about.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by DrWho

The only time FH's parents should be attending a birth is if FH is getting a new sibling.

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Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I think you are stressing over nothing. This seems highly unlikly. Dont stress it unless it is that day and the girl is actually in labor. Then you can be happy they are not at the wedding as it seems like they have upset you many times before.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

as a parent and a woman who has had a few misscarriges....

there is absolutly NO WAY to plan an exact dats to have a baby.

a woman (concidering she has no health or fertility problems) only has a 20% chance of becoming pregnant every cycle. Even if they do conceive there is no way to set an exact delivery date (unless it is a scedualed c-section and trust me no one WANTS a c -section also doctors will not do a c-section out of conviniance for the parents.

It is called a estimated due date for a reason....it is estimated. For example my daughter was due 11/27 and was born via emergency c-section 11/16 I was already having contractions and eas induced but after a exam and finding the cord wraper around her forehead putting preasure on her head with every contraction she was out with in 20 min of finding this out.

I personally feel it is extreamly selfish of any man or woman to try to have a child out of spit e or to bennefit themselves. My daughter is almost 6 and FH and I would do anything to give her a sibbling unfortunetally it looks like we can not at this point(not that that has anything to do with your situation) but do not let anyone ruin your fun of planning your wedding after all it should be the happiest day of your life.... Hey you are starting a life with the love of your life and like another girl said it is 3 yeas away I wouldn't worry about this person too much since if their other 1/2 is smart they will see that he/she has problems and will get rid of them by then hopefully sooner rather than later.

sorry this was so long but i felt it was all somewhat important for you to see. good luck with it all feel free to FM me if you need.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

That stinks to have to go through this. The truth is there really isn't anything you can do except for try not to let this person bother you. It's only a competition for attention if you view it this way and try to compete back.

Its funny b/c I was just talking about a similar situation with FH.. I forget how it came up. The only way it would really effect your wedding is if it she went into labor at your wedding or immediately before. Otherwise she would be very very pregnant at your wedding or not attend... but everyone else in your family will attend. Or she will be at hom or at the hospital with the baby. Everyone will still come to your wedding. Evenif she goes into labor day of the wedding... parents are not going to choose to sit in a waiting room over being at your wedding. It is not until after the baby is born can they see it or her. So even if she is trying to do such a horribly selfish and manipulative thing there is really only like one in a billionth chance that it will effect you.

I hope it works out for the best!!! Good luck!

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

so um.. I am guessing if this person manages to get prego around the time of your wedding and announces it 3yrs from now at your wedding - you will be upstaged once again

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

in order for her to even have a chance to deliver around the time of your wedding is to get pregnant in december of 2010, so that gives her just that one month to do so. Even if she tries to have sex while she is ovulating in december, doesnt mean she will get pregnant, its not just about when you are ovulating but about when you are fertile. If she really was trying to do this that gives her only that one month to do so and the percentage of her getting pregnant that one time trying is very low. If she gets pregnant before december then she will already have the baby before your wedding, if she doesnt get pregnant in december of 2010 then she will just be pregnant at your wedding with a month or more until she will deliver.

If she is going to try this then she is foolish to believe you can get pregnant on an exact date you want to get pregnant lol, and shows just how immature she is if she doesnt even know these facts. Just hope you realize how this all sounds like alot of nonsense and that things just dont work out like this when trying to have a baby. I read that 6.1 million couples have trouble conceiving in the U.S. Trust me you dont get pregnant just because you decide you want to get pregnant that month.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by Espo22

If she is going to try this then she is foolish to believe you can get pregnant on an exact date you want to get pregnant lol, and shows just how immature she is if she doesnt even know these facts. Just hope you realize how this all sounds like alot of nonsense and that things just dont work out like this when trying to have a baby. I read that 6.1 million couples have trouble conceiving in the U.S. Trust me you dont get pregnant just because you decide you want to get pregnant that month.

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And her fertile days / ovulation days would have to coincide EXACTLY with your wedding date.

Seriously, like one of the PP said, file this away under 'things i can't control' and stop stressing over something that VERY likely cannot happen!


ETA: if you spend your engagement worrying about this person, you will miss out on all the wonderful experiences and moments that planning a wedding has to offer.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Well, look at it this way. If this person is giving birth during your wedding, then they wont be able to attend it. And that would be good for you, right?

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

understand something....

it takes a HEALTHY couple 6-9 months to conceive a child.

a woman is fertile for exactly 6-7 days A MONTH...

even if they time it PERFECTLY, the chances of this happening are slight to NONE.

it's time to take a breath & look at what you are saying.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

This is nearly impossible to accomplish. I know someone who had something similar happen to them. The couple had the baby a few months prior to the other couple's wedding. The one getting married told the other one that they can bring the (4 month old) to the cocktail hour, but may not stay for the reception. Hopefully, if this does happen...they will respect your wishes. It was fine. The baby was around for cocktail hour and then the babysitter brought him home.
I really hope for you, that she is 2 weeks too early to have a c-section/delivery for your wedding. And if for some crazy reason, she is able to conceive and will be due the week of your wedding, everyone will know that your wedding is more important than visiting a baby. They can visit the baby the following day. You can't bring a newborn to a wedding, so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

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Posted by davenjess

understand something....

it takes a HEALTHY couple 6-9 months to conceive a child.

a woman is fertile for exactly 6-7 days A MONTH...

even if they time it PERFECTLY, the chances of this happening are slight to NONE.

it's time to take a breath & look at what you are saying.

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ITA. I think you are worrying about nothing. If she does miraculously manage to get pregnant and her due date is on your day I think someone should go play the lottery. There is a big slim to zilch chance that would happen, I think there are much better things to worry about the someone getting pregnant to ruin your day.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

it seems like she is a person that will never change... enjoy your engagement and ignore whatever she says...

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I am so happy I am not the only one who thought that this statement was crazy.

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

Maybe you can change your wedding date?

Re: what would you do/ what could you do in this situation?

I personally think you are overreacting a bit.

You will not be able to change this person no matter how hard you try or want to. It's easier said than done, but you will need to let this one go. You won't be able to control them AND the situation--they WILL do whatever they want regardless. I think that by you getting upset over this, you are lending credence to their arguments and giving them power....they know they get under your skin and you react to it, so they continue to do it.

It's not as easy as people think to just conceive--regardless of the ovulation kits and calendars. If this person gets pregnant and has a baby, then so be it...don't let this get in the way of your wedding day.