Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

Ok...i read this post..and I can tell you this-my guy friend dated a girl who told him she had HPV. He was freaked, had no clue what it meant and what to do. I researched for him and I can tell you this...it is very easily contracted, and something that will be in your system forever. It can lie dormant but you can get outbreaks at times (usually stress induced). I HEARD that it can affect a guys fertility as well...but i'm not 100% sure about that. Aside from the fact i'm sure its not pleasant to have outbreaks and it weakens your immune system overall. I wouldn't know why someone would keep this from the person they want to marry. Definitely something you tell upfront. If they cannot deal with it and don't want to hear about options available on how to work through it, I would think the person isn't 'the one'. But this is all in my opinion :)

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

So I am researching htis topic..can someone tell me why so many sites say that 80% of the population have it or are at risk to... I take this with a grain of salt and will pass on the advice I have gathered thus far.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

maybe people are at risk because they're not careful......or myabe they're talking about younger kids who dont' know the risks....

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by myasmom

Would you date someone who has an STD?

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I definately believe in telling the truth about HPV!
No i wouldn't confess the number of people i have been with that is irrelevant IMO.

If i met someone and they told me they had and STD, I would probably not date them
But that is the risk you take...
AND i would be really pissed if i found out a year later...

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

hello.......is this girl crazy ........I mean to have no regard for her Fiance is just giving me a glimpse of her past and from what you say that is scary

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by DLWDLG

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Posted by Maribelle7777

I don't know if I'd tell him it was 27 guys...but I woudldn't say 5 guys either. However I would tell him about the HPV. And I would have told him LONG before he popped the question. That's just not something you hide in that sort of relationship.

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I agree with this!

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Ditto

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by Kriss2c

The truth should be told. However, from what I have read on HPV, while it is a disease and certainly cause for concern, it is by far not the worst STD out there.

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Agree!
But I don't think she needs to tell him she was w/ 27 men but she does need to tell him about the HPV.
Also, there are many different strands (example the strand that causes outbreaks and the strand that causes cervical cancer and many more) of HPV so there may be no outbreaks and he, if he has it, may never show symptoms.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by myasmom

Would you date someone who has an STD?

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Just because someone has an STD doens't make them bad or slutty or a player. (not that you were insinuating that I know you weren't).
I can't answer that question because I've never dated anyone with one. I don't know how I'd react if I did. Depends on the guy and the situation.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

I agree. Having an STD is not indicative of a person's character..many of the cases I have heard is from people who were innocent victims.

But I have told her that 27 is a high number for someone who is only 25 and that maybe she should consider abstainng. She looks at sex as a way to lure men and hope they stick around. Its so unhealthy for her.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

No need for either party to discuss the number of partners.

Any STD should be discussed before the couple has sex for the first time.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

For her not telling the truth(regardless the severity) makes me question her as a person, if she had full blown aids or just the inital virus would she say something ... I mean her current behavior does not display that she would which scares me..... My Motto always tell the truth so you have nothing to hide.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by myasmom

I agree. Having an STD is not indicative of a person's character..many of the cases I have heard is from people who were innocent victims.

But I have told her that 27 is a high number for someone who is only 25 and that maybe she should consider abstainng. She looks at sex as a way to lure men and hope they stick around. Its so unhealthy for her.

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First of all...OF COURSE I WOULD TELL THE TRUTH. Second of all, this girl does NOT sound like she should be getting married. Someone who lures men with sex probably does not understand what a real relationship is all about. JMHO.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

It is an OBLIGATION to disclose of any...ANY...disease! This is not some little thing...this is playing with someone's life and health. Any fear of rejection takes a backseat. To do otherwise is selfish, and love is not selfish.

Would I date someone with an STD? NO. I am not making a judgement of someones worth, but I would not put my health in jeopardy, or be with anyone who would knowingly put it in jeopardy.

I am just surprised that he is asking for disclosure now?! That is something that should be discussed BEFORE things take place, not after the fact. Condoms break!

Don't mean to offend, but if you love someone, and you know something...so should he.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by 121502

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Posted by myasmom

I agree. Having an STD is not indicative of a person's character..many of the cases I have heard is from people who were innocent victims.

But I have told her that 27 is a high number for someone who is only 25 and that maybe she should consider abstainng. She looks at sex as a way to lure men and hope they stick around. Its so unhealthy for her.

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First of all...OF COURSE I WOULD TELL THE TRUTH. Second of all, this girl does NOT sound like she should be getting married. Someone who lures men with sex probably does not understand what a real relationship is all about. JMHO.

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And that is not true love...so it may end, and then he is stuck w/ a disease for the rest of his life...and can infect someone else.

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

First of all - I don't think it is anyone's place to judge someone on the number of sexual partners they have had and to assume their reasons for having them.
Second - although the strain of HPV that she has IS AN STD, HPV is a strain of warts, it just so happens that this strain is on your genitals ( and possibly affects your reproductive organs, like someone mentioned - causing cancer, etc.)- . If you have ever had a wart anywhere on your body, then you carry a strain of HPV. (Strains are not interchangeable)

As far as their situation -she should have told him, but the number of partners has nothing to do with her contracting it. (And you can get this from JUST one partner.)
That's a different issue and in my opinion, he doesn't need to know how many partners she had. But I don't know how much he would trust her since she didn't tell him about the HPV from the beginning.

I found this website - I thought it was informative for those who want more info.

Good luck to both of them.


http://www.ashastd.org/stdfaqs/hpv.html

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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First of all - I don't think it is anyone's place to judge someone on the number of sexual partners they have had and to assume their reasons for having them.

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I do agree with this statement. But just to clarify in case it was directed to my comment on my reasonsoningas to why she has had so many partners. She is not some stranger on the street to whom I have no interaction and making a blind judgement. We talk extensively and her sexual history comes up repeatedly. She herself has asked me why she has to kiss so many toads to find one prince and I told her its because she gives herself so freely that they get to know her physically before making a mental connection and for what SHE expects..that is the WRONG way to go about looking for love. And for the record..SHE sees my concern.

If someone wants to have alot of sex partners and be sexually free, there is nothing wrong with that BUT when sex is used as a starter for too many failed relationships it may be time to re-evaluate the strategy..

As fot HPV yes I did read that one partner can cause it. And that is so true for any STD. Scary thought especially if someone isnt HONEST about how many partners they were with.

I dont think she should lie about the number personally but not necessarily say 27 but rather tell him that even if he was with 1 or 100 women its the 2 of them now. Now for the HPV I think she may have already messed up. He may not be able to forgive her and although she didnt deceive out of spite the consequences may already be there..My next step woul dbe a blood test

Re: Would you tell the truth? Very adult topic! STD not Save the date!

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

I dont think the number is relevant at all. But definitely the HPV...Absolutely...

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I agree! She's putting him at risk. The number of men doesn't have anything to do with him either way but the HPV definitely does. I can't believe someone would date someone so seriously that it leads to a marriage proposal and they haven't told him something so important!