Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Unfortunately over the past 3 years my weight has been on a steady uphill climb. When I got engaged in June I thought that would be the motivation needed for me to lose some weight and get back in shape. However instead I gained 15 lbs over the summer and my first visit to David’s Bridal was a nightmare. There I was with all my old girlfriends getting measured and trying on dresses at 185 lbs when just 2 years ago I was in the 120’s. The lady at David’s Bridal recommended I order a size 14 or 16, a frightening number to me, and instead I order a size 12 saying I was going on a diet. Now the brides maid dresses and the wedding dress are in and I am too embarrassed to go in for the fitting since as of this morning I weigh 203 lbs and there is no way I am going to be able to fit into a size 12.
So now I have no clue what I am going to do. I have never really dieted or tried to lose weight before, until 3 years ago I was lucky enough be just naturally thin despite not the greatest eating habits. Now my appetite has caught up with me and my figure is paying the price. I told all the girls in my bridal party we would go to David’s Bridal soon to try on the dresses and get measured for alteration, I am just embarrassed how I am going to look trying on a size 12 dress.
I am sorry for the length of this post, I am just venting and getting stuff of my chest. However I am wondering if anyone else experienced a pre-wedding weight gain, and if so how did the dress place handle it, and also how did you handle it?

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I did not experience the same thing but just want you to know that a lot of people do - it is actually MORE common for people to gain weight than lose - despite the fact that all people talk about is losing it - but with the additional pressure, stress, etc it often happens the other way. .. first, I would say that IF you choose to focus on losing weight, you do have a lot of time left, four months of focusing on both diet and exercise can REALLY make a difference -and you don't have to crash diet, you could still drop 20 pounds or so. ..just get some support either like WW or a nutritionist etc. . . and IF NOT
THE DRESS PEOPLE work for YOU - so you don't need to be embarrassed about anything. .you might have to pay for alterations but they will do something, it's not like it's last minute and you have seven days to make things happen. .


SO DONT WORRY - you will be beautiful no matter what -

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Honestly, the first thing I'd do is go to the dr and make sure everything is ok with your bloodwork (thyroid, etc). Then, ask her to recommend a nutritionist. Working with someone who you will be honest with about your eating habits might really help. I'd also try working out 3-4 times per week. You might not get back to the 120s, but you can certainly drop a few pounds and feel better about yourself!

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

If your wedding is in April then you have 2.5 months tops to be able to drop pounds before you HAVE to go to a fitting. Honestly i have seen people drop 20lbs in a month but that is going to cost you gym 4 times a week at 1 hour or 30 mins hardcore about to throw up exercise - diet (veggie soup, fat free broths, salads with lots of veggies and fat free vinegrettes, 4 oz of protien per serving, no bad starches, etc. NO BOOZE at all. I have been trying to drop weight for a few months now and it has been harder then for my wedding. it so painfully slow and I am following diet/excercise sometimes your body is so stressed over dropping weight it actually holds on to it more. So you may have to own what happened and tell david's and see what they tell you. I mean drop the weight to make you happy but get your dress in order now.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I'm going through the same thing. I never used to weigh myself but over the past few years i've gained a pretty good amount of weight. My dress experience didn't go so well. I originally went to have my bm's try on dresses. They begged me to try on some dresses when they were done so i gave in. The first two dresses i couldn't even get over my hips so that started the 'omg i can't believe how much weight i've gained' embarassed feeling. Of course my bm's are all size 8's or smaller so that made me not want to try on even more. The next one i got on but the minute i saw myself in the mirror i was horrified. The sales lady said 'do you feel beautiful' and i lost it. I started crying in front of everyone and had a breakdown. Everyone finally calmed me down and i ****** it up and kept on trying the dresses on. I knew that if i didn't do it i prob still wouldn't have a dress. I didn't understand how i was expected to order a dress that didn't fit me in the store and know that it would look good the day of the wedding. The sales lady i had was awesome and she would stand behind me and tug on the dress so i could see what it would look like 'normal' i have a corset back on my dress so she tied it but loosely to give me an idea. It ***** to go through all this just for a dress and believe me i know the feeling when you talk about it. You just have to realize that FH loves you for who you are and if you decide to go on a diet do it a healthy way. After the new year I've decided that i need to get my sh*t together and go on a diet. Sorry for my long response.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I went on South Beach for one month and lost 8 lbs. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but I was 135 lbs. I would imagine people who weigh more would lose a lot more weight in that one month. My cousin went from a size 10 (after having a baby) to a size 2. It took a year, though...but she did lose a lot of the weight the first 6 weeks.
I'm not going to lie to you...South Beach is pure h@ll the first 2 weeks. You just want to slit your throat b/c you can't have ANY sugar or carbs, but that's how you lose so much weight so fast. Then, you slowly start to incorporate the sugar and carbs back into your diet, but a minimal amount. Like whole wheat pasta once a week and a small apple or half of an orange each day.
If you are disciplined enough, it's definitely possible to lose the weight. Just make sure you set a realistic goal for yourself. You are not going to lose 70 lbs in 4 months...but you could lose 25-30 lbs. Oh, and don't forget to drink lots of water and kick the soda...EVEN diet soda!!!!

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I definatly think you have enough time to lose the weight. You just have to be super serious about it. I lost 55 lbs on weight watchers...and definatly reccomend that. Or you can see a nutritionist. dont forget excercise- that helps soo much too. Good luck.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I lost almost 50 pounds on WW and now its like second nature to me.
You have plenty of time to shed some lbs-dont worry YOU CAN DO IT and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL no matter what the scale says.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

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Posted by meara


I did not experience the same thing but just want you to know that a lot of people do - it is actually MORE common for people to gain weight than lose - despite the fact that all people talk about is losing it - but with the additional pressure, stress, etc it often happens the other way. .. first, I would say that IF you choose to focus on losing weight, you do have a lot of time left, four months of focusing on both diet and exercise can REALLY make a difference -and you don't have to crash diet, you could still drop 20 pounds or so. ..just get some support either like WW or a nutritionist etc. . . and IF NOT
THE DRESS PEOPLE work for YOU - so you don't need to be embarrassed about anything. .you might have to pay for alterations but they will do something, it's not like it's last minute and you have seven days to make things happen. .


SO DONT WORRY - you will be beautiful no matter what -

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She said it exactly right! Do not be embarrassed!!!!!!!!!!! They will work with you and make sure you have the dress that makes you SHINE on your day

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Sweetie! A big, huge hug for you

Please get yourself to a Weight Watchers meeting, you have enough time to make some moderate changes and reach your goals by wedding time.

I lost 70 pounds on WW...(gained a few back over the past year and can relate to your pre wedding weight gain...have buckled down with a sensible diet and exercise plan) and I KNOW it will work for you.

Keep the faith, stay strong and remember that you ARE beautiful. You can do this Can you call David's and talk to a consultant? TRUST...they have dealt with this before and will know how to best accommodate you.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Oh honey...everything will be okay

I was dreading going dress shopping because I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to try anything on because I can barely fit into the plus size dresses, nevermind the sample sizes. I put it off for a long time before I finally ****** it up and went. Of course, it was fine after I went and I found a gorgeous dress.

Call them, tell them the situation and see what suggestions they have to offer. Trust me, you are not the first bride to have a dress that's a little small. The alterations people can do wonders!!! Plus, you still have some time to try and lose a little bit of weight. It's better to get in touch with them sooner rather than later. Otherwise, you will stress yourself out about something that you can't do anything about. It you'd like to talk to a 'full figured' bride, please feel free to FM me.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Okay- do NOT stress. I am in the same boat- it is totally okay. AND I'm getting married a week before you, so hopefully, knowing someone is worse off than you will make you feel better.

FIRST of all, you have MORE than enough time to lose 30 lbs. If you're starting out at 203, and you've gained a lot of that weight recently, the first 10 will come off in NO time.

Now, I'm going to differ with a lot of these girls. I know Weight Watchers is great, but if you want to lose as much as you can in 4 months, I don't think that's the way to go. I think Weight Watchers is the thing to do for a lifestyle change- that's what you do when you're prepared to do it for life, and you have plenty of time to lose it slowly. If you want to lose it fast, then I have to say that Atkins or South Beach is the way to go. And it totally blows, but seriously, that weight will FALL off.

Do you need a buddy? We can do a totally gay support thing on a daily basis, because on the 1st, I'm starting, and doing it crazy until the day before the wedding. Okay, a day or TWO before, because I plan on eating every carb in sight at my wedding, and I don't want to throw my body into a state of carb flux and rejection on that day. I figure, I'll throw down a bagel two days before, and that will shock my system into some kind of carbal reality.

***NOTE: I am not healthy, nor thin. I am not a nutritionist, nor a doctor.

HOWEVER, I have lost massive amounts of weight 6 times (My heart is about to collapse). So I am an expert on weight loss. I am a failure at weight loss maintenance. But if you have to get it off fast, I know what I'm talking about. Please let me know if I can help!! I'll be here on the 1st on the '09 boards with a daily update. You'll be okay!!!

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

My best friend just had a baby and gained a lot of weight she is doing Jenny Craig and has already lost a bit of weight. It is $$ but she swears by it.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

you definitely have time to lose the weight. Just focus on your wedding day and fitting into the dress, that helped me. Just cut down on what you eat, no more fried foods or fast food if you eat that, cut it out COMPLETELY, no junk food dont even keep it in the house bc if its not there at least you wont eat it even if you crave it. Eat smaller portions and just eat grilled food, some baked or broiled. When it comes down to it, i think we all know what food is healthy and what is not. Like when i gain weight, i know why and know that what im eating is really not good, i know what i should be eating instead and when i go on a diet i just make sure to eat healthy food. Also work out, you can try the tv channel exercise tv on demand, its free and they have tons of work outs and you can do it at home. They even have the jillian michaels 30 days shred, and they have all 3 levels on there too so you dont even have to go out and buy it. Plus they have SOOO many other exercises on there, and you can choose something you would like. If you drink soda then cut that out completely and no diet soda either, that doesnt help and its worse for you.

Alot of times certain diet programs have foods you wont normally eat or things you wont stick to, so if you just think of healthy food you dont mind eating or even like alot then better.

Dont get down on yourself now, just get motivated.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

You don't need special diets, you just need to eat 'clean' and eat right.

Limit your calories to maybe 1500 per day! Divide that up between 4 to 6 small meals throughout the day so you're not hungry and keeps your body's metabolism higher so it burns more. Lean protein like chicken breasts, salmon, tuna and veggies and cut out all bad carbs!!! No breads or pastas or fruit juices or mixed drinks! No sweets! No baked goods! Nothing fried! Then get on a treadmill for 20 minutes three times a week. Drink lots of water to help flush everything out. The weight will melt off, at least, initially.

Good weight maintenance isn't about crash diets, where people yo-yo for years. Like Oprah. it's about eating sensibly forever.

Seriously, if you've been nothing but gaining weight for the past three years, it's time to take a hard look at your eating and exercise habits and take better care of yourself! Love yourself!

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I'm really sorry this happened to you- but it's nothing to be embarassed about- it can happen to anyone and does happen to most of us. I can tell you that Jenny Craig DOES work. You can eat good things all the time and the food is good!. I've lost 12 pounds and now i'm just working off my last 5-6 pounds. you cando a short term program for 8 or 10 weeks or you can commit to a year long program.
I hope this helps you somewhat..Good Luck you're still beautiful.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Thank you for all of your kind words. You have no idea how much better you all made me feel.

However I can't help but feel embarrassed and worried about fitting into the dress. I am not good at the whole diet and exercise thing, having never had to worry about it until 3 years ago. To be honest I guess that over the last 3 years I have been in denial about my weight, always finding excuses not to diet. Now I am suddenly in over my head. I have gained 80 lbs in the last 3 years 30 of those lbs in the last 6 months. I try to diet and it only lasts a couple days before I finding myself eating like I used to without even knowing. I have never exercised in my life, and when I tried to go for my first jog ever the other day it was a disaster. I could only jog a couple hundred feet before I was out of breath and had to stop, it felt so awkward the way my whole body jiggled and it actually began to hurt.

You guys are all 100 percent right baout my fiance. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. He has never said anything negative about my weight, even when I complain to him about (which recently has been a lot). I do feel self conscious around him sometimes since he has such a great body and I do not look anything like I used too.

Once again thank you for all of your posts.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

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Posted by nikki2

Thank you for all of your kind words. You have no idea how much better you all made me feel.

However I can't help but feel embarrassed and worried about fitting into the dress. I am not good at the whole diet and exercise thing, having never had to worry about it until 3 years ago. To be honest I guess that over the last 3 years I have been in denial about my weight, always finding excuses not to diet. Now I am suddenly in over my head. I have gained 80 lbs in the last 3 years 30 of those lbs in the last 6 months. I try to diet and it only lasts a couple days before I finding myself eating like I used to without even knowing. I have never exercised in my life, and when I tried to go for my first jog ever the other day it was a disaster. I could only jog a couple hundred feet before I was out of breath and had to stop, it felt so awkward the way my whole body jiggled and it actually began to hurt.

You guys are all 100 percent right baout my fiance. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. He has never said anything negative about my weight, even when I complain to him about (which recently has been a lot). I do feel self conscious around him sometimes since he has such a great body and I do not look anything like I used too.

Once again thank you for all of your posts.

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Instead of thinking about being on a 'diet' try to think about making your lifestyle more healthy. Don't hold yourself to unattainable standards - you will not be perfect. Sometimes you'll want a piece of chocolate or a cookie. Just don't eat the whole bag! I honestly think if you start to make small changes - give up soda this week, eat a piece of fruit as your snack next week, start taking 4 20-minute walks per week, etc - then you'll start to see positive changes. Once you start seeing your weight moving in the right direction, you'll feel more motivated. Just take it one day at a time. I'd consider doing WW - the group support might help a lot.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

I gained alot too and just recently started atkins..I agree weight watchers is good for a lifestyle change but Atkins will get it off quicker...Keep me posted.

Re: Embarrassed about pre-wedding weight gain

Here are a few tips that helped me STOP snacking:
1. Brush your teeth when you get home. You won't want to eat something sweet if your mouth is all minty.
2. Chew on gum when you get home, just to have something in your mouth.
3. Each time you want to eat something, go to the fridge and drink a glass of water. Water tends to make you full.

And in response to your running...I have trouble running, too...but b/c I get side cramps. You don't have to run. Start with walking for 30 minutes. Then, try to walk uphill the following week. Once you have built your stamina, you can try running. I used to do jogging intervals. Run 1 minute, walk 2 minutes, run 1 minute walk 2 minutes. Then I would increase my run time the following week. You will not be able to hit the pavement and start running the first week that you exercise...espec. if you have never exercised before. You need your body to adjust. I would take the other girl's suggestion and go on a diet together. It's much easier when you have a support system...and someone who is doing it with you. Nothing like some healthy competition! :)
I will be looking for you on the '09 boards. You can do it!!!