Brides Helping Brides ™ - Long Island Barbies

maureen519 Posted: Feb 01, 2007 10:50 AM+

maureen519 MEMBER SINCE: 7/06 TOTAL POSTS : 273 WEDDING DATE: May 19, 2007

Posted: Feb 01, 2007 10:50 AM

Long Island Barbies

For those of you requesting Nassau County barbies...here ya go!!!

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited
Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market:

Babylon Barbie -- the Barbie comes with her very own boat, Jet Ski, and surf gear. Hair comes freshly highlighted along with a fake & bake tan. Included is their Victorian mansion 'south of Montauk'. She hangs out at the 'funky phish' where ken performs in a metal band, with his piercing, tattoos, and his very own bowl. On Sundays they hit up the 'Post Office'. They would be totally lost without their very own BMW or hot S.U.V...

Baldwin Barbie - This Barbie comes with 4 different kinds of STDS and her own Planned Parenthood punch card. Her special features are smoking weed and sniffing cocaine. She comes complete with dyed black hair, lip ring, and is dumb as dog ****. Also available with Ken boyfriend as well as 5 available unnamed male companions... Unless it's Baldwin Harbor Barbie- then refer to Merrick Barbie.

Bellmore Barbie - This Barbie comes with her own pair of Eskimo boots and $300 sunglasses her middle class white suburban father bought her. This Barbie spent a lot of time with other guys in high school because Ken was out doing way too much cocaine. Barbie and Ken like to stay home and complain about how the local Movie Theater brings hoodlums near their home and refuse to allow fast food in their town. This Barbie comes with a pull string so you can hear her complain about just about everything, from the punks running around on Friday nights to the fact that there is an increasing rate of alcoholics going to one of the 10 bars in a 2 block radius...

Brentwood Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and four baby Barbie's in the backseat (no car seats). The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket, lunch pail, and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Brentwood Barbie or Ken.

Central Islip Barbie- This Modern Day Retro-Barbie comes with Two Gold Teeth, Acid Washed Jeans, White Reeboks, Feathered Hair and a Double Ring Belt (Yes it is 2006.) She also comes with Ken, her brother/boyfriend, complete with house arrest bracelet and Dodge Neon. Parole Officer Sold Separately.

Cedarhurst Barbie - This Barbie is equipped with long skirt, long sleeve shirt, and a wig. This Barbie is 'religious' but is secretly a dirty whore behind her parents back. She drives mommy and daddy's car and walks up and down Central Ave. because she thinks she's cool. She has lots of pairs of Uggs and frequents starbucks. ALSO she will never step foot into Inwood.

Franklin Square Barbie - This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.
Garden City Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a 3500-square foot house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. *** (rear end) not available. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with 'augmented' version .

Great Neck Barbie - This stuck-up yuppie Persian Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Hempstead Barbie - This Barbie comes with Hoop Earrings, Hair Weave, Food Stamps, a bus pass, a search warrant, and a court date. She also comes with three babies and three different Ken's (Baby's Daddies). Each Ken comes with his own bag of weed. (Sold separately and on a Street Corner)

Hicksville Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set she can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's *** when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Huntington Barbie - This doll actually smells like tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her 'Willow.' She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Huntington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Levittown Barbie - This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Hicksville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

Massapequa Barbie - This Italian Princess Barbie comes with teased black hair, 12 gold chains, 7 gold bracelets, 8 rings and 1 ankle bracelet. Included are a permanently attached cell phone and a black Monte Carlo with ILUVTONY license plates. The accompanying Ken doll has been replaced with a black haired Tony doll with hairy chest and gel/hairdryer kit.

Merrick Barbie - this is the knock-off wearing, fake-nail-sporting, paying-for-her-Lexus-lease-by-the-skin-of-her-teeth, 'low-rent' version of Roslyn Barbie. She aspires to be Great Neck Barbie. Due to incessant Merrick Barbie nagging, Ken is happily anatomically correct.
New Cassel Barbie - (Not Available) Who are you kidding? No one wants anything from New Cassel.

Oceanside Barbie - Oceanside Barbie is cheap 2 for 1 deal; she comes with interchangeable nose's pre-op or post op. She comes with fake orange tanner and highlighted hair. She comes equipped with daddy's credit card and is backed by the Russian mafia. She always smells like cigarettes and perfume. Oceanside Barbie never pays for anything and Ken is always cheating on her, but Barbie is just a girl so who cares tehe. You can usually find Barbie at the mall or at the club, she's an ambitious Paris Hilton wannabe but in fact she is just a slut. Collect the whole series.

Plainview-Old Bethpage Barbie - This Barbie comes stocked with 14 different credit cards, a permanent parking spot at Shoprite, and a gift certificate for driving lessons that she'll never use (also comes equipped with either a Mini-van, an Escalade, a Hummer, or SUV, depending on whether you're in the college streets or Old Bethpage). Her husband, who you can get as a lawyer or a doctor, keeps her happy by letting her buy every pair of Uggz, and every Louis Vitton and Gucci bag to her heart's desire. He even let's her dress their babies in mini-uggz and Coach onesies. They're at La Piazza and the Plainview Diner so much, that they actually PAY La Piazza to deliver to them! (FYI: La Piazza doesn't deliver). Skipper goes to JFK where she is the biggest JAP in all of Long Island, but yet, pretends to be 'punk' because someone told her it was fashionable. She gets a parking spot every quarter.... even as a junior. btw.... she got a BMW for her Bat Mitzvah, and she will show up to prom in a coach bus with all 600 of her 'friends' and then go to Seaside Heights. She will end up at Nassau Community College.

Roslyn Barbie - This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie comes with take-out menus, lunch dates, and vacation homes. She wears only the most expensive clothes that either her daddy or hen-pecked hubby Ken pays for. She rarely has a job, yet is never home to take care of her own kids. Comes with Lawyer Ken. Optional housekeeper/nanny sold separately. But you better get one for her or she'll never shut up.
Rockville Centre Barbie - This is another one of the exclusive models - available only at Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, and Lord & Taylor stores Island wide. While her complete collection of Tiffany's jewelry is impressive, what is even better is that she comes with Daddy's credit card, a great set of highlights, and a weekly pass to a tanning salon. Select models can be purchased with accompanying Psychiatrist. You have your choice of BMW, Volvo, or Escalade and each RVC Barbie comes complete with a one-of-a-kind Vera Wang wedding dress and for later in life, a designer Soccer outfit. Absentee Wall Street Ken and Catholic School Whore Skipper sold separately. Acrylic nails are optional.
Seaford Barbie - This white bread plain as sh*t Barbie comes complete with japped up outfit conveniently paid for by her unseen parents.
Uniondale Barbie - This recently paroled former 'Porn Actress' Barbie comes with a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth-lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop then we don't know what you are talking about.

Valley Stream Barbie - This Barbie comes in several different gang colors. She's got long curly greasy gorgeous hair. She's got a belly ring, and her belly is popping out of her sweatpants for everyone to enjoy. Come's with a metal pipe, screens, and an adorable little 40 0z. Valley Stream Barbie can kick some ***, make-up bag and Barbie stitch kit also included. This Barbie loves the dollar store or throwing up in the park. Barbie bus pass, Nextel, and birth control sold separately. Valley Stream Ken available on parole only.

Wantagh Series Barbie's: Wantagh Scene Barbie - comes with shoulder length black hair, with blonde underlayer and 2 burgundy streaks on the left in front of head. She wears a short denim skirt, black leggings, and a white t-shirt with black and red paint splotches with a skull screen print on the left side only. Equipped with studded belt, long necklaces, funky eye makeup, and black Chuck Taylors. Wantagh Prep Barbie - comes with breast length light brown hair with blonde highlights, angled. She wears light stonewash jeans, already torn at the knees, the back pockets, and in patches along the outer seam lines. She wears a light pink tank top with a white polo t-shirt over it, unbuttoned of course, and carries a white and gold sequined shoulder bag. Also comes with flip-flops and Tiffany bracelet. Wantagh Wangsta Barbie - comes with long dark hair and Rocawear baseball cap tilted up to one side. She sports South Pole jeans and a barely there Cami with black and fur Baby Phat jacket, a black belt with diamond studded Initial buckle. She sports a pair of K Swiss and large hoop earrings.
Westbury Barbie - comes with long straightened blonde hair, American eagle all over, diamond studded earrings, and comes with the option of uggs, flip flops, or diesels. Will never admit she's from Westbury and will use 'Salisbury' as her location, and rarely goes to the other side of town. She carries a coach, Louis vuitton, or Gucci that daddy was guilted into buying her. Ken comes with SUV and with more product in his hair than Barbie could ever use.

West Islip Barbie - Comes with daddy's credit card, 3 cars, and a house 'south of Montauk' where she has many house parties. She comes decked out in her jeans, wife beater, flip flops, big sunglasses, and talking on her pink razr cell phone with a bitchy/sarcastic attitude. She dates ken that comes wearing his favorites...knee high socks with sandals. They eat lunch at Care Europa & then proceed down to Robert Moses field 5 to the right...They are regulars at Mustangs, Zoinks, The Post Office, The Salty Dog, Mighty Quinns, & every other bar within a 5 mile radius. They eat at the Carousel Diner after a long night of sniffin some coke...They all get gas at 'Gas Heaven' & never think about going into Dirty Sev's...Now to all those out there, I'm sorry to say but West Islip Barbie and ken are ONLY available in Caucasian.

AMJA Posted: Feb 01, 2007 10:58 AM+

AMJA MEMBER SINCE: 10/06 TOTAL POSTS : 1102 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2007

Posted: Feb 01, 2007 10:58 AM