How Do you Tactfully Handle 'Missing' Envelopes/Wedding Gifts?

Hey Everyone - Not sure how to tactfully handle this - I got married 2 weeks ago tomorrow and after sorting through our envelopes/wedding gifts - there are about 7 people who attended our wedding that either didn't give us a gift at all or we lost their envelope. I know for a fact that one person did give us an envelope, but we don't have that one - I guess in all of the chaos of the night, it was misplaced. For some other people, we don't know if we lost it or if they just didn't give us anything. How do you handle this? I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable if they didn't give us a gift - at the same time, we'd like to know if we're missing any of our gifts, and at some point, if these people did give us a gift (and hopefully it was a check!!), they will see we didn't cash it and wonder why...

No idea what to do here, but I want to handle it tactfully and not sure if other brides have been through this.

What do you think???

Thanks - Laura

Re: How Do you Tactfully Handle 'Missing' Envelopes/Wedding Gifts?

That happened to my cousin. My Aunt picked one out of the 10+ people who they didn't have a card for (my Mother) to confirm her suspicions. She picked my Mom because she knew she was reasonable and wouldn't take offense.

Once she knew that it was a case of theft, she contacted everyone and her tone was concern so that they could stop payment on their checks, not to tell them to pay up. So just in case they wrote the check out to 'cash' instead of the bride and groom (no one really does that I don't think, but it was a good way to show her worry), they wouldn't lose their money.

Except for 2 people, everyone she called sent the bride and groom another card/check directly to their house.

Re: How Do you Tactfully Handle 'Missing' Envelopes/Wedding Gifts?

I think Greenfreak has the right idea. That's a great way to tactfully handle the situation. Although the other thing going on now is that year rule. My friend told me he didn't give 3 of his friends wedding gifts b/c he thought he had up to a year to do so. I told him to never ever do that again but maybe that's what's going on with your guests. Not for nothing, but if you can't afford to give a gift but you can attend the wedding you should at least bring a card for God's sake! Make a card if you have to!