Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by am470

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Posted by suven

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Well, I could be assuming the worst, I'll admit that. I don't think it's likely that a person would bounce a check, but not know which check bounced. Isn't that dangerous? What if the check for the mortgage were to bounce? I think that people should be responsible enough to find out which check bounced and make it right with the person. Even putting aside the 'moral' factor, a check is a legal promise to pay. A person can be sued for writing a bad check. JMHO

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I guess I problem with this whole discussion is the judgmental attitude. People make mistakes (some more than others), but s-h-i-t happens. And sometimes guests screw up checks and don't realize it.

I could go on and on....but I won't. I would be surprised to see that you could be arrested for giving a wedding check that bounces. Highly unlikely.

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This is obviously a personal decision and I'm pretty sure my DH would disagree with me on this one.

I agree that people unknowingly make mistakes. However, in this case, this mistake is affecting another couple. It puts the couple in an awkward situation and may actually cost the couple some money. I don't think a 'thank you' is warranted for the gift. The couple received no benefit from this 'gift'. All the couple did get the pleasure of the guest's company and that is what I would thank them for.

I don't think you can sue for bouncing a gift check, though. A gift is not an obligation.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

no, I didn't mean they could sue for a gift, but a check is a legal promise to pay. People sue and get sued every day over bounced checks.

edited add: I never said anything about getting arrested for bouncing a check.

But, just as an FYI, when I received a bounced check from someone who owed me money, I was told by the police department that the person COULD be arrested for bouncing too many checks.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I would thank them for the gift. Who cares? they were invited guests, so you must have a relationship with them, give them the benefit of the doubt. To me, if I recieved a ton of gifts that night, one bad check is not a big deal, on the other side, imagine how your guests feel knowing that their gift bounced? That is humiliating.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

Seriously it is not like they did a 'dine and dash' they were guests, your guests...I would never make anyone feel uncomfortable over money. It is not like they are hoarding a ton of it and did not want to share, the check bounced

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

my cousin actually did that to me and i waited a few weeks and then redeposited it and it went through, so i just sent the thank u and didn't bring it up. i'm sure they feel stupid as it is. a friend had it happen though, a family of five all bounced three separate checks and never said a word. my friend mentioned it and they pretty much ignored her. three years later they still haven't really acknowledged it so u never know.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by am470

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Posted by suven

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Posted by am470

Can someone explain to me why a person would feel the need to NOT thank someone who clearly attempted to give a gift? I have a hard time believing that the giver purposely screwed up the check so that the bride was unable to cash it. So if it was by accident, why would you not thank them???? This makes no sense to me.

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To me, the issue is not that the check bounced, but that after the gift giver clearly found out that it bounced, they made NO effort to make it right. I'm not even saying to give a new gift, but at least give the bride back the money she was charged on the bounced check fee.

My MIL actually bounced a gift check at a wedding. And, as soon as she found out, she brought the cash, plus an extra $50 to the bride and groom to make up for it. She did it so fast that the bride and groom hadn't even found out yet about the check.

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Isn't a more likely explanation that the giver did not realize that was the check that bounced or not cashed???? Do you really think that the majority of guests would avoid giving the gift again??? Personally, I do not balance my checkbook or mark down the numbers of the checks that I write. If I bounced a check, the bank would inform me, and I would have no idea what check it was. I just think that you are assuming the worse in people and ignoring the more likely (and more harmless) explanation.

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Having worked at a bank, all banks notify someone if they bounce a check. It's on the statement and they send a letter of notification and some will even call the customer. Plus, a check is usually presented twice before it is 'bounced'. I would be a little insulted that the person didn't call to at least apologize to the inconvenience.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by JennandTom

I had the exact same thing happen to me.
I never did anything about it either.

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same here...

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

If you bounce a check both you and the other party are notified so you know which check bounced. The couple at our wedding who bounced their check were notified and said something to me and DH the next time we saw them. They apologized but it still comes down to the fact that we had to pay an additional $15. I would at least pay that back to the couple if i did not have the money for the gift.

I personally keep my checkbook balanced because as someone said you would not want to bounce a mortgage payment. If there is a question of whether you have enough money in your account then maybe you should hold off on writing a check...send it to the couple after honeymoon.

I did not send a thank you to them as i didn't to everyone who did not send us a gift. A mistake is one thing, but not trying to rectify the mistake (at least by apologizing and paying the couple the fee they paid) is what is wrong in my book.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by SeptWed

If you bounce a check both you and the other party are notified so you know which check bounced. The couple at our wedding who bounced their check were notified and said something to me and DH the next time we saw them. They apologized but it still comes down to the fact that we had to pay an additional $15. I would at least pay that back to the couple if i did not have the money for the gift.

I personally keep my checkbook balanced because as someone said you would not want to bounce a mortgage payment. If there is a question of whether you have enough money in your account then maybe you should hold off on writing a check...send it to the couple after honeymoon.

I did not send a thank you to them as i didn't to everyone who did not send us a gift. A mistake is one thing, but not trying to rectify the mistake (at least by apologizing and paying the couple the fee they paid) is what is wrong in my book.

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You did not send a thank you to that person even though you received their gift because they did not refund you the money you lost from the extra charge??

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

A thank you should still be sent. A wedding isnt about the gift u get it is about them being there and sharing in ure special day. Just thank them for coming not the gift. My best friend came from Vegas and my brother came from Florida I got no gift not even a card. They are short on money. THEY still got thank yous.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by am470

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Posted by SeptWed

If you bounce a check both you and the other party are notified so you know which check bounced. The couple at our wedding who bounced their check were notified and said something to me and DH the next time we saw them. They apologized but it still comes down to the fact that we had to pay an additional $15. I would at least pay that back to the couple if i did not have the money for the gift.

I personally keep my checkbook balanced because as someone said you would not want to bounce a mortgage payment. If there is a question of whether you have enough money in your account then maybe you should hold off on writing a check...send it to the couple after honeymoon.

I did not send a thank you to them as i didn't to everyone who did not send us a gift. A mistake is one thing, but not trying to rectify the mistake (at least by apologizing and paying the couple the fee they paid) is what is wrong in my book.

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You did not send a thank you to that person even though you received their gift because they did not refund you the money you lost from the extra charge??

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You got that right. I did not send a TY to anyone who did not give us a gift period. JMO on the matter. The bounced check couple i have less reason to give a gift too as they actually have cost me and DH more money by doing that and not even offereing to refund the money.

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by june262004

A thank you should still be sent. A wedding isnt about the gift u get it is about them being there and sharing in ure special day. Just thank them for coming not the gift. My best friend came from Vegas and my brother came from Florida I got no gift not even a card. They are short on money. THEY still got thank yous.

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You are right a wedding is not about a gift and i invited those people to celebrate in my day with me and am glad they came. However, i thanked them enough with the free food, drinks, music and favor. I don't send thank yous to people who come to any other party i host.

Your situation is different if we had people fly in for our wedding we could understand but these people did not fly in and did not even send us a card to congratulate us. Plus trust me (with the exception of the bounced check couple) everyone else is pretty well-off. That is rude and while some of you might think i am stepping down to there level by being rude, i don't see it that way. Why bother going above and beyond for someone who can't even send you a card???

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by suven

why not write a nice thank you? And, include the actual check!!!

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I like this idea! I think I am going to take your advice

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

I had a similar situation happen at my wedding.. a friend of my husbands wrote a check for a large amount of money and told us not to deposit it.. week after week he had another excuse for my husband, so finally like a month and a half later i deposited it only to find out that he put a stop payment on the check!! so no i didnt send a thank you, and when he had a graduation party for a program he had finished 2 months after our wedding, i mailed him a graduation card with his check in it, telling him 'Wish we could give more, but times are tough I'm sure you understand'. Needless to say him and my husband are no longer friends...oh well...

Re: Bounced Gift Check Thank you???

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Posted by CheeChee

I had a similar situation happen at my wedding.. a friend of my husbands wrote a check for a large amount of money and told us not to deposit it.. week after week he had another excuse for my husband, so finally like a month and a half later i deposited it only to find out that he put a stop payment on the check!! so no i didnt send a thank you, and when he had a graduation party for a program he had finished 2 months after our wedding, i mailed him a graduation card with his check in it, telling him 'Wish we could give more, but times are tough I'm sure you understand'. Needless to say him and my husband are no longer friends...oh well...

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This is GREAT!!!