Re: please help

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Posted by pleasehelpme

thank you. We are married. I dont hate him and I am not in any danger. I do realize that what I felt before the wedding wasnt cold feet which I let people convince me it was. He is not the type of man I want to be married to . Family is a unit not about one person but everyone and he is about him. Im trying to make sense of my own feelings and I cant seem to . He will not do counseling. But I am going to try

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you need to try... IMO...You haven't given yourself enough time to call it quits.

go to therapy for YOU... and then you will figure out whether or not you made a mistake.

but don't give up so quickly.

Re: please help

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Posted by pleasehelpme

thank you. We are married. I dont hate him and I am not in any danger. I do realize that what I felt before the wedding wasnt cold feet which I let people convince me it was. He is not the type of man I want to be married to . Family is a unit not about one person but everyone and he is about him. Im trying to make sense of my own feelings and I cant seem to . He will not do counseling. But I am going to try

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sorry your going through this. Def try counseling. But as other girls have said before, in order for a marriage to work, both people have to equally work at it.

Re: please help

BUMPING this thread.....

..... i am curious to see if you are still out there mystery bride & how everything is going!!!

Re: please help

Re: please help

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Posted by TM2008

BUMPING this thread.....

..... i am curious to see if you are still out there mystery bride & how everything is going!!!

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give her some time... this is a big decision which I'm sure, takes more than a week.

Re: please help

so sorry you are feeling like this...when you say he's not the type of man you want to be married to, is it truly 100% everything about him? Surely there are things about him that made you commit to him over other guys you had relationships with.

There are days I can't stand DH (but I still love him), and I realize there are faults he has I wish could change, as I'm sure he thinks about me too...there is no perfect man who will live up to everything you want in a man. Start by thinking of all the things that you do like about him, maybe make a list of positive things. Sometimes we're in relationships for so long we forget what drew us to that person in the first place.

I once heard a sermon from TD Jakes where he said there's a 80-20 rule. No one is going to be 100% of what you want...they'll probably be 80% but often times people let the 20% look bigger than the 80%, and people leave good marriages because of that little 20%.

I by no means know all the details of how you feel, and would never judge your situation, but I hope this helps you hang in there. I agree counseling can help, even if it's just yourself individually.

Re: please help

I would suggest counseling. It really helps. Did you and hubby go through pre-marital counseling? As some of the girls said it might be the adjustment of 'married life'. Maybe go away for a weekend and see if a change of scenery does anything to alliviate the situation.

Re: please help

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Posted by What

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Posted by TM2008

BUMPING this thread.....

..... i am curious to see if you are still out there mystery bride & how everything is going!!!

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give her some time... this is a big decision which I'm sure, takes more than a week.

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oh def!! i was just curious to see how she is holding up emotionally!!

Re: please help

did you love him the day you got married? Your very vague...do you guys argue often and thats why you want out? Dont rush any of your decisions...have you talked to your husband about this? Maybe he feels the same way.....I hope things become better.

Re: please help

i am a strong believer that you should try and not give up easily.

But you said you dont love him, if thats the case then is there anything to really work out?

also what will you lose? you said that in your op

Re: please help

Thank you ladies for your concern and advice, I appreciate it all. I am trying my best to make the right decision for myself and my husband he is well aware of how I am feeling and is willing to give me time to figure this out, thank you again .

Re: please help

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Posted by pleasehelpme

Thank you ladies for your concern and advice, I appreciate it all. I am trying my best to make the right decision for myself and my husband he is well aware of how I am feeling and is willing to give me time to figure this out, thank you again .

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glad to hear you are hanging in there!!! i just wanted to check - i figured things hadnt been worked out yet, but i wanted to show my concern &

Re: please help

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Posted by pleasehelpme

Thank you ladies for your concern and advice, I appreciate it all. I am trying my best to make the right decision for myself and my husband he is well aware of how I am feeling and is willing to give me time to figure this out, thank you again .

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Good Luck! I hope it all works out for you in the end.

Re: please help

I wish you luck and