Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

jess...i really put it all out of my mind. i really had a bad experience even getting off of long island. it's natural!!!!

enjoy the weekend with your HUBBIE!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I get asked this question every day. I makes me smile when my coworkers call me an old married lady. I could not be happier to be married.

I am glad so many of you posted that you don't feel different. I feel closer to DH, and we have been nicer to each other, but life pretty much seems the same. The biggest transition for me has been thinking of 'our money' as opposed to 'my money.' I also feel a bit in limbo because we are looking for a new place to live. Other than that, it feels great to have our lives back!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

This is a great thread.... I really love reading everyones' experiences. We lived together for over 2 years before getting married, but we did move (together) a couple of months before the wedding. That was an interesting transition, but a great decision. We bought a house in January, that we are still renovating before moving into. Even with contractors doing stuff, we still spend our entire weekends working on the house after working all week. The *kicker* has been that DH's brother has basically MOVED INTO our 2 bedroom apt while we're renovating. He's helping us renovate (we're paying him). He just graduated college. He's a great kid, very sweet, but VERY young and college-guy-ish. So.... this is the first thing that is sort of driving me a bit nuts. Things are really great most of the time, but I was even surprised by how challenging the 1st year could be even when you've lived together before. Mostly trying to figure out money issues, the house stuff, and now, trying to FIND SOME SPACE AND ALONE TIME with my bro-in-law. And no, I didn't really know he was MOVING IN. I thought he'd stay with us a few days a week. He has moved in...bed, computer, dresser, pictures.... thanks for letting me vent.

Edited to add: I just re-read and should emphasize bro-in-law is working his *ss off for us and making every effort to be a good houseguest (roommate??)

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by Kerrycec

I was crying a couple days non stop, but it ended about two weeks after marriage

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I'm glad I wasn't the only one! About two weeks after we got home from our HM, reality set in. I can't tell you how many nights I cried myself to sleep. I kept asking myself why I did it! It didn't help that DH is very set in his ways and didn't really welcome me with open arms into his apartment. He made some space for me but I was constantly reminded that it was his place. I still am when I look at my bedroom walls and see Red Sox and Boston Bruins posters

I would say that it took a good 6 months for those bad feelings to go away. There were still more good times than bad. By our first anniversary, everything was great! I can honestly say I am having more fun now and am more in love with my DH than I ever was before! (even though he drives me insane most days )

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

We didn't live together beforehand but we transitioned surprisingly well, and so far the first 5 1/2 months have been a pleasant breeze!!!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I can't believe how fast the last 7 months have gone. The wedding seems like yesterday. We lived together before marriage so we didn't have the adjustment period that usually comes with first living together. Except for our wedding $, we still have separate accounts, but what's mine is his and vice versa.

Although things haven't really changed, in some ways they have. It's hard to explain though. DH and I agreed that we're happier. It just feels right, and it feels like we're really a family. I feel more secure and settled.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

We didn't live together before the wedding either, and the first few months were difficult. We fought over really stupid things and were both stressed. I think the reality of our being married and worrying about someone else and being a family was a little overwhelming for both of us. However, I don't know when it happened, but one day things just seemed to click. We are on the same page and I love coming home to him every night. I think we are happier now than we have been in a long time and because of that, the year has really flown by. I can't believe we will be celebrating our anniversary next weekend!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

It's been about 2 weeks since we've been back from the HM. I have to be honest, it's been a rough 2 weeks. I have mixed feelings about what it is, but I think it's a combination of things. My situation may be a bit different. DH and I have lived together for almost 3 years now. We have a house, furniture, pics, appliances, yada, yada, yada, so we were already pretty much settled into our lives. Plus, he has 2 kids, 12 & 7 years old. So our lives were pretty much set. For me, I think that I feel like I'm 'missing out' on the 'newness' of things b/c nothing is new other than our marriage. Not that that is anything little, believe me....it's HUGE! And I LOVE being married to the most amazing man and father. After we came back from our HM we went right back into our lives which is completely normal for everyone I'm sure, but DH is gone alot, especially this week. He's working to make up what he missed and return the favor for the people that covered him. I guess it's just hard right now. I don't know if I'm making sense, but it's hard for me to try an even explain or put into words all my emotions right now. I wish I could blame it on PMS or something , but I guess not!

So, this must be my 'transition'. I wish I could say it's going smooth, but it's not. I wanna live in the moment and have those incredible feelings you girls seem to have.

Please don't get me wrong. I love my DH more than words can say, I'm just wrestling with my emotions right now.

OK, I'm done. Enough whining, but thanks for letting me get that out.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

OH THANK GOD you all have stories to tell. I've been a weird 'mess' since the wedding nearly 1 month ago. I'm very happy, but I've been weird about things. It's hard to describe. Almost like PMS, but not quite.

We lived together for nearly 2 years before the wedding, but had separate bedrooms. (Hey, we're not from this area and there is no way we could afford 2x 1 bedrooom apartments.)

I'm very grateful about all the presents we received for the shower and wedding, but the most stressful part is finding places for all these things. We have been overtaken and want our apartment back.

Anybody else overwhelmed with lack of space?

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by waterspout4

OH THANK GOD you all have stories to tell. I've been a weird 'mess' since the wedding nearly 1 month ago. I'm very happy, but I've been weird about things. It's hard to describe. Almost like PMS, but not quite.

We lived together for nearly 2 years before the wedding, but had separate bedrooms. (Hey, we're not from this area and there is no way we could afford 2x 1 bedrooom apartments.)

I'm very grateful about all the presents we received for the shower and wedding, but the most stressful part is finding places for all these things. We have been overtaken and want our apartment back.

Anybody else overwhelmed with lack of space?

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Almost all of our gifts are still in my old room at my parents' house. There's no room for them in our apartment. We're using our old stuff for now (except for a few new appliances) and we'll use our gifts when we move into a house.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

The transition has been horrible for me and there are many times I've thought that I hate being married. It's not exactly what I thought it would be. But I went from a single individual who lived on her own for over 5 years to living with a husband and being a full-time stepmom to two teenage girls. The responsibility is overwhelming. The lack of space is enormous and there are times I resent everyone.

I keep reminding myself that I love my husband and daughters. I hope it will get better.

Hang in there. I'm happy to see that I am not the only one having a hard time with this.

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by steflily

The transition has been horrible for me and there are many times I've thought that I hate being married. It's not exactly what I thought it would be. But I went from a single individual who lived on her own for over 5 years to living with a husband and being a full-time stepmom to two teenage girls. The responsibility is overwhelming. The lack of space is enormous and there are times I resent everyone.

I keep reminding myself that I love my husband and daughters. I hope it will get better.

Hang in there. I'm happy to see that I am not the only one having a hard time with this.

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Getting married is overwhelming and life changing itself, but add in step children and it doubles by 1000! I go through all those emotions myself. You are so not alone!!!!! I love my husband, I love and adore my step children, but at times, it can be so overwhelming, all you can do is cry! We all know it will get better, but there will be trying times too. So cliche, but you are a better person for those bad (and good) times! I'm sure your step-children adore you, even though it doesn't always feel that way. The good times always do have a way of pushing those bad memories away though. Hang in there yourself hon. You're doing a great job!!!!!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

I think this is such a great topic!! I too was a bit homesick after the honeymoon. DH has lived on his own for over 10 years when we got married and I had only lived with my parents. I cried a lot (mostly at night) and I missed my parents my cat but felt torn b/c I knew I loved DH. It was a difficult transition since I moved into his apartment. It took me a long time to unpack everything (some stuff still doesn't have a 'home') but in time everything got easier and we got into a routine. Almost six months later, I don't really miss living at home anymore (still miss my parents and cat though!) But I say just give yourself some time-it's a big transition!!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

For me it was an easy transition, I don't know why being I lived with my parents until I was married and he too but it was just an easy and quick adjustment for us although at times I do get a little sad because I miss kissing my parents good-night, now they are a phone call away

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

DH and I almost killed each other the first few months we wre married, we even thought of counseling. We lived together for about 9 months before we were married, and it was nothing like we expected.....it was a little scary too.

Now we are doing much better, adjusting to being married, it's over 6 months already!!!!

Just take it 1 day at a time and talk about your feelings, you can definitely get through anything if you communicate.....I know it's cliche but it's true!!!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

it has only been 22 days but it has been blissful.. the transition was seemless for us so far.... still have to change my name though.. yikes!

Re: tell me truly girls...how has the 'transition' been?

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Posted by waterspout4

OH THANK GOD you all have stories to tell. I've been a weird 'mess' since the wedding nearly 1 month ago. I'm very happy, but I've been weird about things. It's hard to describe. Almost like PMS, but not quite. QUOTE]

Glad to just find this post. We just got back from HM yesterday and I'm nervous about all the emotions flying - totally does feel like PMS again. I am going to follow some of the posts' advice and recap the day's events - I'm also waiting to clean out my wedding files for a while - to let it linger a bit. Glad to know that even though the planning is over - this site is still a great place to vent. I am so happy to finally be married and happy to be done with the planning, sad though too to be done, and excited about what is to come - crazy mix for sure:)