I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

OK here's the story... FH and I had originally picked February 14th as our wedding date. However, my aunt called us up, hysterical crying, begging us to change our date because it was her 50th birthday and she didn't want us to take her day away. Whatever, so FH and I, after a few days of me being sick because she upset me so much, changed our wedding date to February 7th. We're happy about moving it up. So yesterday my mom calls me to tell me she was talking to my cousin in Florida and they are all excited about coming up here for the wedding. So, my cousin asks my mom what is going on, on the Friday night before Jaime's wedding. My mom asks her, what are you talking about. She says, Don(my uncle) had said he was going to throw Jane(my aunt whose birthday it is) a small surprise party on the Friday night before my wedding since everyone will be up here from Florida. Holy Cow, when heard this, I almost died. I swear, if this 'party' happens, my aunt and uncle had better not even think about coming near me or my wedding. I can't believe he would even suggest this after my FH and I totally changed our wedding date so she could have her precious birthday. He can throw his party on her birthday. I am fuming. I don't want him having a party for her on the Friday before my wedding so that everyone can be hungover and dead tired on my wedding day. I swear, this is the last thing I needed to hear right now. I am so mad. I told my mother, if he plans this and I hear about it, I am going straight to my aunt and telling her that she better call it off. She begged us to change our wedding date and now this. My uncle knows the tension between us and my aunt ove rthe whole date thing. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way. I am so upset. I can't believe that he would do this over all the crap that went on.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

So sorry you have to deal with this. I would definately be upset too. Are you having a Rehearsal Dinner?

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

Ok, I would be pretty pissed at this too. How could she beg you to change your wedding date, and now have her b-day party the day before your wedding? Sorry I don't have any advice for you and I'm sorry you have to deal with this but I would be upset too.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

OMG I'm almost as pissed off as you are reading this and I don't even know you!

That's so inconsiderate how she made you change the date of the wedding just for her.

Seriously, I would call your uncle and tell him he needs to change the date since YOU were put out of your way (even if you werent tell him that) to change it to 2/7/04. I mean you said you were so upset with the fact that your aunt called up in tears (sorry but that is very very immature of her to have done) and that you went out of YOUR way to make her happy only to find out that he's planning something the night BEFORE your wedding? Why did you bother changing the date then?

Either way, I hope things work out and I hope your guests will know who the REAL person (people) of honor are that weekend.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

oohh.. I'd be pissed, that is not fair.. I would have your mom say something.. if they want to have a party, they can have it sunday, so everyone can be hungover and cranky for her party.. Haven't you done enough already? Good luck girl

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

Can you maybe talk your Uncle into having it on Sunday the 8th

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I would be furious!!! They have some nerve to plan a birthday for that weekend.

It would be one thing if the wedding was on the 14th and they wanted to do something that weekend but not now, not after you changed your wedding date for her birthday!!!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

Yes couldn't they have it on the eighth? I think its wrong to have it the day before your wedding. It seems inconsiderate after you guys agreed to change your wedding for her.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I don't know if he is even doing it. We have not heard anything. My cousin told my mom this is something he said he wanted to do a month or two ago when she talked to him. But she says she hasn't heard anything since, but trust me there is plenty of time for him to plan it. I told my mom, he probably wouldn't invite us because he knows we'll be pissed. I think he is going to try and keep it hush, hush if he does it. He won't do it on Sunday the 8th because everyone is going home and he wants everyone to be here. Holy cow, the more I think of it, the more pissed I get at how he could even think of doing this. My rehearsal dinner is on the 5th, now I wish I had done it on the 6th, I just didn't want to squeeze everything together, I wanted to space everything out and now this jerk thinks he is going to squeeze a party in for my self-centered, spoiled, materialistic b*tch of an aunt?? Over my dead body!!!!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I am sorry the way things are working out.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

OH MAN! I am mad just reading this post! You have to tell them that it is TOTALLY unfair. You have to SAY SOMETHING. Maybe have someone else speak on your behalf. I know I would be WAY TOO MAD to even talk to them and I would probably end up saying some things I shouldn't cause of my bad temper....

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I agree with you, I think it would be wrong for him to have the party the day before your wedding. Yes, everyone will be there but he has to remember WHY they will be there...for your wedding.

I think you should talk to him and find if he is really planning the party for that day. Maybe he just mentioned it to your cousin as a possibility and she misunderstood.

I hope things work out!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I would try to intervene by hosting or arranging some other type of gathering for the out of town guests so this aunt & uncle can't do anything.

The gesture of having a gtg for the Out of towners is nice, but they lost all rights to celebrating this aunts birthday any other day then 2/14 when they asked you to move your wedding!!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

Ok...I'm sure nobody is going to like my answer...but who cares if they have a party? They are not interfearing with your RD...because it's on the 5th. They are not interfearing with you wedding day...that is the 7th. What do you want all these OOT's to do on the 6th? Sit in the hotel and wait for morning so they can go to your wedding? I'm sorry...but I think to have all your family and friends together for 3 whole days is something very special...and you should celebrate! I'm sure everyone will be responsible enough to get up and go to your wedding and it will be the best day of your life....don't let it bother you so much.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I don't even know how to help you on this! Some people are JUST too much!!!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I agree with Luvsun. I don't think the party is a big deal at all. As a matter of fact, it will be a nice way to get everyone together.
But, I do think your aunt is pretty self-absorbed to ask you to change your wedding date because it coincided with her birthday. That's just insane!

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

I know it doesn't sound like its a big deal and I wouldn't care if it was anyone else throwing a party, but its the principle. You don't know all the crap we went through with this aunt and them having a party in her honor, the day before my wedding just feels like a slap in the face. Considering they begged and we gave in and changed our wedding date, I don't feel it is right for them to throw her a party on that date considering we changed our wedding date so that we didn't hear her complain about her birthday on the 14th. I seriously regret ever changing my wedding date to adapt to her. I am kicking myself in the ass for that, I just didn't want any problems. So, what do I get, possible problems. I think I am going to look into having a little GTG for all my guests the night before.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

i would be very upset!....I would be worried about people being hung over....

if they Really want to throw her a party when everyone is already flown up... then it should be on sunday the 8th... the day after you'll be married and not worried what condition your guests are in

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

Well it sounds like you are the bigger person. One on my BM's is getting married right after me, and it looks like her wedding is going the eve of my 30th birthday. She's totally apologetic but I'm thrilled for her. This way I get to be all dressed up with my then husband (we get married a month before) and celebrate. Your aunt should get over herself.

Re: I am so MAD, and there is about to be a war in my family!!

jaime-

i know how you must feel- take a breath.. we have come this far with planning for anyone to ruin it... can you talk to your uncle and remind him that you revolved your wedding around them?

Normally I wouldnt be so calm- i think it was the two weeks off from teaching that made me less uptight...

Let us know what happens!