Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

My husband and I got stiffed at our wedding by a co-worker of mine - NOT EVEN A CARD!!! - she said she couldn't afford to give us anything - but a simple card would've been fine...Anyway, the question is this: Do I send her a thank you or do I not send a thank you - I don't know what I should do?? I'm thinking - send her one and thank her for sharing our special day - or don't send her one because inside the thank you, is printed 'thank you for your thoughtful gift' ??? What to do, what to do??

ETS: I reworded a few things so as not to sound like I was expecting money ! There were guests at my wedding who didn't give us a dime, but did give us a beautiful card and had written a nice poem in it - and another guest gave us toasting flutes with our names engraved and the date...

It's the thought that counts right? So what thought did she put into the card she bought? Uh, NONE!!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

I would send her a thank you but not one of your good ones. I would go and buy a small hallmark thank you and thank her for sharing your day. She didn't spare the change for a card, so why should you send her one of your good ones with the pictures.JMO

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

That's pretty crappy. You don't have to give money, an inexpensive gift or even just a card would have been fine. I probably wouldn't bother sending one. I'm sure you thanked her for her 'presence' the day of the wedding.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

I would send her a thankyou

'Thank you for sharing our special day'

I wouldn't make her feel worse...if she even feels bad..I hope she didn't show up for the free food..That is a tough one though...

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

she must have been a good enough co- worker for you to have invited her. so imo yes you should send her one. is the wedding about the money we get or is it in the day we celebrate te joining of 2 people... it's not about the money.. inside just write a quick note saying thanks for you sharing in our special day with us... you gift of you being there was enough of a gift. i have a few people i know that are not probly going to give a gift but i still want them there to share in my special day!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

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Posted by Sweetness

I would send her a thankyou

'Thank you for sharing our special day'

I wouldn't make her feel worse...if she even feels bad..I hope she didn't show up for the free food..That is a tough one though...

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agree 100%

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

I would send her one also. Although I'd be pissed that she didn't even buy a 99 cent card.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

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Posted by janet

she must have been a good enough co- worker for you to have invited her. so imo yes you should send her one. is the wedding about the money we get or is it in the day we celebrate te joining of 2 people... it's not about the money.. inside just write a quick note saying thanks for you sharing in our special day with us... you gift of you being there was enough of a gift. i have a few people i know that are not probly going to give a gift but i still want them there to share in my special day!

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I must emphasize - I was more offended by the fact that she didnt even take the time to pick out a nice card, and write a personal message to us wishing us good luck - or anything for that matter - just something showing she put some thought into it - but to not even give us a card was completely rude - has nothing to do with money... I'm just torn because inside the card it says: 'thank you for your thoughtful gift, and wishes too'
neither of which apply to her - thats why I'm undecided.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

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Posted by Boop2704

I would send her a thank you but not one of your good ones. I would go and buy a small hallmark thank you and thank her for sharing your day. She didn't spare the change for a card, so why should you send her one of your good ones with the pictures.JMO

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I think this is what I'm going to do...thanks!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

you should send a thank you - but not one of your printed cards because she didn't give a gift and that's what the card says...so it would be wrong!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

I knew prior to our wedding that a close friend of mine had been laid off and times were tough. I wasnt expecting anything from him or his girlfriend. The did, however have the decency to get a card!! If you are really torn, just write her a simple Thank you for sharing our special day thank you note. Good Luck!!

It could be worse, my DH's COUSIN stiffed us three months after HIS wedding... HE DIDNT COME TO OUR WEDDING AND DIDNT SEND A CARD--or an Im Sorry!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

wow...thats REALLY rude..! sorry

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

Well I have a cousin who did not buy me a single thing for my bridal shower yet she ate very well and drank for 4 hours for free... Her sister was there and got several great gifts and her mother who was not even there sent a gift.. I am pretty sure she will not even give us anything for the wedding nor will she send a card.... I did not send her a thank you card for the bridal shower....But the wedding is a tough situation... You don't invite people just so they can give you tons of money but yet at the same time you hope that people acknowledge that your wedding is not just a chance for them to eat and drink for free for 5 hours... I would discuss it with your husband and ask him how he feels.. Does he feel offended? Do you? If not then send the thank you for sharing in the day.. Some people don't give because they can't others don't because they don't want to...

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

I felt really offended because she had no problem telling me how she went searching to buy a dress to wear for the wedding, and go get her hair and nails done, etc... she could've spent 10 minutes in hallmark, or even walgreens for that matter and picked out a nice card at the very least!

My husband is offended too, and we've decided to send her a generic thank you for sharing our special day with us.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

Wow, If a person can go to a wedding and well know that her/his presence is welcome and for coming, a delicious meal and dessert is brought to them, while they dance and be happy, the proper, most considerable, respectable thing to do is recipricate and say thankyou with a card, an envelope, a gift...something in your hand that says, I thought of you today as you thought of inviting me!!!! If someone can not afford to go to your wedding and admit it, they should congratulate you and say that they can't wait to see the pictures. If you insist that she comes regardless, then a simple token of appreciation is well called for. I do not understand how she went through the nite thinking it was okay. Honestly, she should have given you a card and explained her situation. 'I'm sorry I could not give........thank you so much for understanding... i was so happy to be there..., I will make it up to you both. Something to show she cares and respects you. I think she should not get a thankyou. If she asks, say you don't know what could have happened...say you did send her one....then add, that's weird, cause I did not get one from you, I must of misplaced it somewhere.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

maybe this is just me but if FH and I really cant afford to go to a wedding and give a gift.. even if it isnt all that much ( not a family member but a friend or co-worker ) then I wouldnt even bother going.. and at least I would still send a card!! even at least a free one over the internet!!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

maybe this is just me but if FH and I really cant afford to go to a wedding and give a gift.. even if it isnt all that much ( not a family member but a friend or co-worker ) then I wouldnt even bother going.. and at least I would still send a card!! even at least a free one over the internet!!

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Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

Do you think she would be expecting a card if she didn't even know enough to give you one? She probably doesn't send Thank yous either.

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

you know what - you're absolutely right!!! our thank you's were delivered to my job, and she just happened to mention that she never sent out thank yous!!?? As excited as I was about receiving our thank yous, I had completely forgotten about that!

Re: Spinoff on getting stiffed at your wedding - TO SEND A THANK YOU, OR TO NOT SEND A THANK YOU...THAT IS THE QUESTION

lol...i loved the idea of if she ever asks where hers is, saying hmmm, i sent it that is weird b/c i never got a card from you either....thats awesome!!!