Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

So I guess by your other updated post you've made your decision?

Congrats! it's beautiful!

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

Actually we haven't....the posts kind of came in the opposite order, but it's NOW that we are having doubts...lol

AH!!!

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

how much time do you have to decide? why not trying to make the commute home tonight? and see what its really like?


also friends and family will come...if you invite them!!! We were at my aunt and uncles house up near Pughkeepsie way more than my aunts house in Mineola...b/c my upstate aunt would always invite us over ;)

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

How long is your and DH's commute to work?

The family & friends commute isn't so bad, but the every day commute would wear thin on me.

(My cousin lived in W. Milford and used to commute to the city. She couldn't take the distance anymore and moved to Port Liberte.)

Message edited 2/3/2004 3:16:29 PM.

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

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Posted by yabbobay

how much time do you have to decide? why not trying to make the commute home tonight? and see what its really like?

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Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

We moved about 1 1/2 hours from my family. DHs family is from upstate, so he only really sees them on holidays. Honestly, when we lived 20 mins away from friends & family, we didnt see them any more than we do now. We just plan in advance. Regarding friends, we still see the old ones that matter- some refuse to make the trip and act like we moved to Oklahoma instead of CT. And we are making new friends near home. For us, my husband was so unhappy living in the city- he's a country boy and needs his house and yard. Seeing how incredibly happy he is, and our beautiful house, makes it all worth it.

I would have had a 2 hour commute to NYC, so I left my job and found one closer (relatively speaking- 1 hour) to home. I am staying here to save up for school b.c the money is really good, or I would have taken something even closer to home. Is finding a new job a possibility for you/DH?

Honestly, I do wish my parents were closer sometimes, but they are both retired and will soon be wintering in FL, so I wouldnt see them as much anyway. To me, the neighborhood & house I live in now are where I want to raise a family, and I am really happy there. It was a tough road to get there though. The decision is personal, my friend was going to move to CT and is now looking in Westchester. She is looking to spend at least $100k more than us for a much smaller house. Its all what you think is most important to you and DH.

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

For me, I'd have to go with #1. I don't care how small a house is, property is KEY with me. The friends and family commute isn't bad at all.

Why not do a trusty "Pros & Cons" list and see what you both come up with. See what your priorities are and see which scenario they fit into.

Best of luck to you both with this decision...

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

We have a similar situation. Frankie is one of 5
2 live in Florida by his parents and three of them were up here. His one sister decides to move to Vernon NJ. Way up on the mountain! The house, the property and the way of life fantastic! But no more Christmas Eve, Easter or anything else. We cannot go see the kids for the day we can only go when we can go for the weekend which is not as often as Frankie and I would like

Only you can answer what is best for you and how far from your family and friends you can be, especially when you have children.

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

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Posted by MarcellaBella

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Posted by Sage10.03

Ok, great....we find a house, make a bid, bid is accepted and NOW DH is having doubts....

He thinks it's really far and that no one will come visit and that we're too far from his friends and family and some SERIOUS doubts are setting in.....

My question is this:

Would you rather have a really nice home....nice property...and a easier way of life BUT a long commute and ways from your friends and family (about 1 hr. 45 minutes)



or

A smaller house that needs a lot of work, has virtually no property, but is close to your friends and family.....

WHAT TO DO??????????????

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I have to go with B.. that was actually our case.. We could have gotten a HUGE monster house out east, but we didn't want to be away from our family.. We're both big family people and we need to have them close enough.. and easily enough that if we ever needed something, they'd be close enough to get there quickly..

Good luck with your decision.. it's sure not an easy one.

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Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

Diffcult decision to make..... We had a similar decision to make when we brought our house. We live in Putnam Cty. My DH family is from Suffolk and my family lives in the Bronx. Prior to buying our house DH and I lived in White Plains (westchester cty). We both commute to the city 45mins - 1hour which is not that bad. Being far from family also isn't that bad for us. But the thing that is starting to bother me (in Sept we be in the house 2 years) is the different lifestyle. I miss the conveince and culture of a city.

Where ever you decide, make sure you LOVE the area and not the house or property. I Love my house and property , but I have mixed feelings about my town. Don't get me wrong it's a good town with blue ribbon schools, but it's just not my speed, if you know what I mean.

Good luck in your search.

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

What did you decide on?

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

After much debate and back and forth, we have decided to pass up the house

We timed out the commute last night and it would most likely take me 2 hours (more if bad weather or traffic) each way.....
My final conclusion is that quality of life and time with my DH is more important than the house or the land....

Unfortunately this means we start looking all over again....
I know that my perfect house is out there somewhere....I am just anxious to finally find it!

Thanks for the support and all the honest opinions....believe it or not - it was a big help!

I think DH and I were romanticising the house/land and forgetting about the practicalities....

Oh well....the search starts again.....

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

oops...it posted twice

Message edited 2/4/2004 1:26:04 PM.

Re: NEED ADVICE ASAP.....re: house.....PLEASE HELP!!!!

Good Luck
Your Home is out there.