stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

now that im back from my honeymoon and all the hoopla is over i can vent.

many of our guests did not give gifts. not even a card. 14 people!

5 are his groomsmen inclduing his two best men!! did they think they didnt have to b/c they were in bridal party? but they didnt even get a card. and two a re married with kids!

besides that, several of our guests responded with a date and showed up solo which cost us.

and 2 couples and a guest responded, never showed up and never called or sent a card/gift!!!

im a little peeved. I know i would never do such a thing. some of his friends forgot their cards and sent them to us the next day.

and two of our checks we got from guests bounced!!!


so my questions are?

what do you do about people who respond but dont show up?
bounced checks? can i redeposit a second time?
people who didnt give at all? i know you cant really say anything but its eating me alive!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

- if it makes you feel better - we got nothing from our best man.....

people can be so stupid bc they just don't realize....

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

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Posted by pschica

- if it makes you feel better - we got nothing from our best man.....

people can be so stupid bc they just don't realize....

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thats terrible not even a card?

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

if people responded and no-showed, there is nothing you can do about it. if they send you a gift, i would just send them a TY like everyone else. with the bounced checks, whoever wrote them knows they bounced, so hopefully they will contact you. if not - you can try redepositing them - but if they bounce again, you'll get stuck with another fee, i think.

we did not get anything from 5 couples - 3 of whom were in the BP!!!!!!!!!!! even better - DH's cousin (who is a Dr.) and her husband (also a Dr.) didn't even get us a card!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we had a few people mention to us the day of the wedding that they left the card at home, in the car, etc. of those - only 1 ever showed up in the mail!!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

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Posted by kdelace
what do you do about people who respond but dont show up?
bounced checks? can i redeposit a second time?
people who didnt give at all? i know you cant really say anything but its eating me alive!

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you vent here...and then get over it...I was pissed at first, but noticed over time that it doesn't bother me anymore...

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

I think most of us had this happen. We had a couple of no shows and a bunch that cancelled two days before. We couldnt get our money back for that. We did have two people not give us gifts but sent a gift months later. I never knew that people actually did this. I cant imagine doing this to anyone.

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

im over it... just needed to vent!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

sorry...I didn't mean for that to come out snotty...just wanted to say that the pissed off feeling fades eventually

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

The error checks we had were all from my Dad's friends- I had him call. They didn't bounce, they had the wrong names on it.

Of the 14 no shows we had. We heard from my one friend and his cousin with their bogus excuse, but his friends we never heard from and GOOD RIDENCE! They are so not worth it and I was so happy that the wedding made him realize. He still sees them occassionally because he is still friends with others but he is much colder to them

The 1 stiffer that we had, we didn't send a TY. It was DH's ex-friend as he says and it was his choice!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

First of all congratulations!!! Secondly, there really is nothing you can do about people who gave no gifts, bounced checks and didn't show up. What you can do is realize that these are people that apprently didn't care much about being supportive on one of the happiest days of your life. This happened to me and many, many other weddings we've been to - it's common!

At this point, don't dwell on people and their negativity, instead focus on the ones that did attend and was supportive and generously gave. This is the prime reason why when getting married you cannot rely on other people to give gifts etc, it's pretty much hit or miss. It's so unfortunate when people do this. My hubby and I have actually lost friends as a result of our wedding!

Sorry you had to go through that, but the good news is you're married to the man you love, all those other people are insignificant!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

I was totally PO'd the day of my wedding because my husband just HAD to invite his trailer city friend (female) from bumpkinville PA. Since she had no $$$, etc. he offered to pay for her hotel room (we didn't even get one for ourselves) and wrote her down step by step directions on how to get to the location. We had to leave a non-refundable deposit for the room and I went out of my way to have a guest basket sent to her room (along with my other out of town guests). Don't you know she calls his cellphone an hour before the wedding, complaining that her dog ran away, her boyfriend broke up with her, alien's landed on the lawn, her dad died and her car broke down!! Needless to say, she wasn't coming. So we got stiffed on 2 seats (one for her, one for her boyfriend), the hotel room, etc. I was LIVID because she had a tendency to pull this crap in the past. After that day, not a word from her but two months later, we did get a card with $5.00 in it. Bob's attitude: it's the thought that counts. Let me tell you what kind of 'thoughts' I had about her after that point.....

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

I agree with yaboobay. The pissed off feeling fades. I was very upset too, really at the no-shows more than anyone else because I agonized so much over who to invite. A wedding teaches you a lot about people. I'm over it but I do look at some poeple differently now.

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

I had one of DH's friends respond and not show up. I was really pissed. Of course no gift or a call to let us know he wasn't going. I was so pissed. DH and I saw him at a party, he never apologized or even brought it up, which mad me even madder! But, dh wanted us to be nice to him, and I did as much as it killed me. How rude if some people! I would never do that!!! Sorry, I just needed to vent... touchy subject .

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

This is weird that this was bumped!

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

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Posted by Marcie

This is weird that this was bumped!

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I cannot agree more

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

WHY ARE WE BUMPING OLD STIFFER THREADS?

There are many more interesting new ones

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

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Posted by suven

WHY ARE WE BUMPING OLD STIFFER THREADS?

There are many more interesting new ones

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alot of times, I think, when you do a search for something, you read the post and respond without really noticing the date.

I'm sure it was intentional. I know I've done it and felt so stupid later when I realized it was so old.

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

I clicked on a link that someone posted on this board and I didn't realize that it was on old post. It really isn't a big deal. It was not intentional. Thank you melissaandsean.

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

We had-

2 People cancel 2 days before
0 no shows
2 non gift givers
1 check that bounced

Re: stiffed, noshows and checks bounced!

i had someone give us a check that bounced and he didn't even know it until we told him. he accidentally wrote a acheck from an account that he closed 10 years ago....never threw out the checks...he then sent us another check with an extra $50 to cover any costs..which was nice especially since it cost us $10. so maybe the person didn't realize it..........or maybe they are just creeps!!