My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

So my FI tells her that we're not doing this circling thing that you traditionally do in Jewish ceremonies where the woman walks around the man 7 times because we don't feel like it's 'us.' And she gets really upset - 'So you think I'm your father's slave because I walked around him 7 times?!!!' And my FI - who can sometimes be kinda blunt - said no, but we don't want to to it and we're not doing it, almost all rabbis say it's optional. And she's insisting that we 'know the true meaning of it' and even reform rabbis are insisting that people do it now and we should sit with her and talk about it and talk to the cantor about it and blah blah.

Now, I've read about the tradition. I have at least 2 Jewish wedding books about it. We know all about it, we don't need more lessons, we have made our decision!

This is the same woman who was like 'I don't know if Jewish weddings with ring bearers have pillows - ask the rabbi.' Ask the rabbi if I can have a RING BEARER PILLOW?! The ring bearer is fine, but he might not be able to carry a PILLOW??!!

Just needed to vent.

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Thank God I don't have that problem but to you

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Ask her how she would feel about your ring bearer carrying a small pincushion instead. And blame the 'walking around him seven times' thing on vertigo... 'Sorry, Mom, I'll get dizzy and pass out... you don't want that to happen, now do you?'

Seriously, hugs. And I know I still owe you an FM.

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

I loved the 'Even Reform Rabbis' part. UGH.

I sympathise. We ARE doing HaKafot, but it's because we liked one of the more modern interpretations of it. But our Rabbi (who is Reform, btw) gave it to us as an option.

Tell her that all future questions on tradition should be discussed with the Rabbi performing the ceremony, as he has ultimate discretion over the ceremony.

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Good Lord you were making me dizzy reading that, circling 7 times...I'd pass out.......good luck

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

After reading that, all I can say is, 'Oy!'



If it makes you feel any better my FMIL has just informed me that she will not be attending our wedding.

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

I'm sorry...WHAT?? your grooms mom will not be there? pls explain, if not too personal.

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Ha ha ha ha... nsgraham, welcome to the wonderful world of jewish mothers! Just try to imagine how mine reacted when I told her we weren't using a rabbi! Whew...

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Smm, you have FM.

I was a poet and didn't know it.


Let's see how does that go...... there once was a man from Nantucket...

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Re: My FMIL is driving us crazy - vent!

Nsgramh...

I really don't understand the Jewish religion and there practices..but I know it is very strict religion. If you want to chat FM me...okay!!!