Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

hrmm.

Honestly every family has their share of whining and complaining. There's two side to everything. Some could say she's become spoiled. Others could say she's still depressed.


If you want just our gut feelings..

Yep, I'd be angry as hell. But I'd probably not SAY a thing but come here and vent!

I mean what can you DO? I finally got off of paying rent to my MIL who's attached to an stupidily rich man. WHY am *I* paying rent when no one else in the house is.. and Im technically family and you have money coming out of your EARS and haven't given us a penny for our own wedding but wanted to get married at our wedding to 'save effort'. But what can I do? It's his mother.

Heh.. you don't marry the man.. you marry the family.


Go ahead and vent away!!


ETA: the condition of me not paying rent is that I have to pay for the Taxes.
*shrug*

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

Absolutely!!!! I can understand it for a little while, while she looks for a job.. but it's been 2 years, and first off.. it is NOT YOUR obligation to take care of her or her house, she's not your mom.. She shouldn't be telling you this.. her son is helping her and that's VERY NICE, but it's not his obligation either.. I would help my mother if she needed, but I know out of respect for myself and my FI she would get a job, or get help for herself, and not put that burden on us.. it isn't fair.. I can't believe she would do that to you..

ETS: I don't want it to sound like I wouldn't help my mom, because I would, but it's hard enough having to pay for my mortgage, and my life.. ya know.. especially in New york.. so you have to pay her mortgage instead of getting your own house with your husband????? a little selfish on her part don't you think??

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

Do you guys live with her? I don't think you are over-reacting - I can imagine your frustration! If it's not too personal - is she capable of working? Was there no life insurance from her husband? Or social security? I think FH needs to sit down and talk to her about the stress of trying to save for a wedding plus household bills.

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

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I think FH needs to sit down and talk to her about the stress of trying to save for a wedding plus household bills.

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i agree!!

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

I think you have every right to be upset and angry over this. After all, feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. But it does seem unfair that she puts all this stress on the two of you. Why has she not gotten a job? Is she still depressed over losing her husband? Maybe she doesn't want to work? It would probably be best if your FH had a talk with her, just to explain how tight your finances are right now, and that he would really appreciate some assistance from her. I know dealing with the future in-laws can be difficult - believe me.

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

i would be very upset.. and probably wouldnt put up with it, you must be a saint..maybe she has money from her husbands death that shes not using? its not very fair for you to have to pay your bills, a wedding, and her bills...she could even get a fulltime babysitting job for the day... alot of people are looking for current mothers to watch their children...

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

I think she gets 500.00 a month from the pension and thats it. When she turns 60 she will be eligible for Widowers Social Security. Thats not for another 2 years!!

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

i meant more like her husbands insurance policy...

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

I'd be angry, but remember she will always be his 'mommy' and you shouldn't say too much, we all have to remember to bite our tongues as much as it kills us, believe me there have been times I wanted to yell/scream/knock some sense into my FMIL but you just can't.

Re: Am I over reacting or do I have a right to be as mad as I am right now?? (long vent)

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I think I have a right to be ticked off right?

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Um, yeah!