Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

Hello All!
I know I am very new, but i heard some great things about this site and the girls giving awesome advice...sorry for jumping right into it...

My male cousin is getting married in 2005 and his future wife and I used to be good friends Well he hid their relationship from me for about 4 months, through college graduations, funerals etc. Well yada yada yada, they get engaged, and ask me to be part of the bridal party. Now i find out that she is extremely 2 faced, and has been fake to me since they started dating. Childish really, talking behind my back, miscontruing my words, trying to be 'friends' with me just to make my cousin happy. Here's the dilemna(finally) I do not want to stand next to this girl while my cousin jumps in. I already talked to him about this, and he agreed that he wants me in it, but not if i feel uncomfortable, but dropping totally out is not an option..What would you do?

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

Don't forget that their are two people involved in this wedding, why don't you think of it as being in your cousins wedding and doing this because you love him? now does it feel right to be in it? the answer is up to you, and I know that advice sucks, but really it is only you know if you are uncomfortable.

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

tough one...Just wanted to tell you that i am feelin your pain at the moment

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

If I were you, I would not want to be part of her bridal party either. If things are uncomfortable now, what will happen when it comes to planning the shower, bacherletts night out, etc. I would explain your concerns and feelings to you cousin,. But, I would ask instead if you could do a reading for him during the ceremony, because you are there for him too.... Hope this helps

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

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Posted by 2UNTAMED

If I were you, I would not want to be part of her bridal party either. If things are uncomfortable now, what will happen when it comes to planning the shower, bacherletts night out, etc. I would explain your concerns and feelings to you cousin,. But, I would ask instead if you could do a reading for him during the ceremony, because you are there for him too.... Hope this helps

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i agree...good advice!

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

I agree with lilqtny. Sometimes we have to stand by people, even if our personal feelings tell us otherwise. Your cousin said he wants you there, try to think about doing it for him. Rise above it, be gracious, and be the better person. I know, easier said than done!

But at the same time, keep your distance, and be careful with this girl.

BTW - welcome to the boards!

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

If you're already having bad feelings about the girl now, I say get out of it while you still can! Perhaps offer to do a reading at the ceremony or to be a part in some other way, but I just think that things may only get worse down the line if you stay a part of their wedding party!

Good luck!

Re: Hi I'm new..with a dilemna-Big

I would sit down with her and figure out why she has such a problem with you. I also agree that maybe being a BM isn't the best idea, and that a reading would be a better idea.