updated: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

His uncle wants to bring his 'friend' to the wedding. (The uncle's wife is deceased, but she is the one who was related to fi by blood)

We invited him single. This was a big decision because this guy brought the girlfriend to his own son's wedding. But, we've had a bunch of family members tell us how offended they were that the bride and groom allowed him to bring his girlfriend.

So, the uncle called fi's mom to ask if he can bring his girlfriend (a little calous, his dead wife was fi's mom's sister)

So, Fi's mom says, 'call my son and ask him.'

He calls fi and says, 'I asked your mom a question.'

Fi says, 'what do you need?'

The uncle says, 'I don't remember'

So, fi says, 'OK, I'll call my mom and find out.'

DUH! he doesn't want to have to ASK if he can bring his girlfriend. He wants US to just tell him that it's okay to bring her...

It's fine, fi told his uncle that he can bring the girlfriend. I was just upset that the uncle wouldn't ask us directly. But, fi did explain to the uncle that we will be honoring his wife's memory during the mass ceremony and that we want to make sure that the 'friend' will not take issue with that.

Re: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

Why are family members offended that a grown man who is a widow brought a girlfriend to a wedding?



ETA: But as far as bringing the guest, I would guess no since he was not invited with guest. But I guess I'm back to not understanding why he didn't get 'and guest'.

Re: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

Fi is from this man's wife's family. The only relation we have to this man was through his wife. (and his sons, but they're pretty useless)

Re: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

ok I understand that asking his SIL for permission is not kosher, but other than that is there any bad blood between him and the family. Did he mistreat his wife when she was alive??? Was his greiving period not sufficient in the family's eyes? I'm confused.

Re: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

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Posted by suven

(and his sons, but they're pretty useless)

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LOL!

Re: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

i wouldnt see much problem in inviting him with a guest, unless he physically beat his dead wife or had a girl on the side... after all, he is a reminder of someone who loved your aunt....

Re: updated: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

I can understand where the family is coming from. My mother's uncle remarried shortly after his first wife died, and a lot of people in my family had trouble dealing with that. Personally, I figure whatever makes him happy. It might be the same situation with your FH's family - maybe they feel it's dishonoring her memory.

Re: updated: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

my dad's sister dies in 1996. Her husband remarried in 2000 Ithink.
HE invited his deceased wife's 2 brothers ( my dad & uncle) to his weddign& they went. He is still family, his sons are still my dad's nephews. We are not close though.
I asked my dad if he wanted to invite him, ad he siad no, b/c he thought he wouldn't want to coem but would, jsut to be nice.

If he did coem, his wife woudl definitely be invited. But sicen my dad did go to his wedding, it wa sort of his way of giving his approval, I guess.

I understand it can be weird though. I was a little shocked when he remairried so soon.
It is weird that he didn't ask you directly though.

Re: updated: OMG! I'm gonna kick fi...

It sounds like the family is not comfortable with the uncle moving on with his life. Which, frankly, is immature.