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JZNCK
I am MRS. Z
Member since 9/03 4156 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/12/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at Eastwind Caterers
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Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Well, I was so excited when my fi proposed, that I rushed into asking girls to be a part of my wedding party.. My fi, however, did not. So now he's thinking that he just wants his brother as the best man, and then I would just have my best friend as the moh, we would still have a jr. BM, ring bearer and FG.. but I already asked his two sisters, and my 3 friends.. He said their feelings won't be hurt, just tell them that he doesn't want a big bridal party, and he's only having his brother, so they will not feel bad.. I feel like they will feel hurt.. but my best friend and fi said they won't because he's not having anyone so they will understand.. Now, I'm feeling like I just want it to be small anyway, because they don't like the dresses, it will save money for us because it's not as many gifts, and we can buy our BM, and MOH really nice gifts.. anyway.. sorry so long.. PLEASE HELP?? And how should I tell them all???
WORD OF ADVICE:
Wait to ask your BP because now I'm screwed
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Posted 5/17/04 10:13 AM 
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bethsiar
http://bethandevan.shutterfly.
Member since 7/02 3069 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 5:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Oheka Castle
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Thats tough, are u sure that YOU dont want a big bridal party?
While I'm sure they will understand, I know I would harbor a little resentment towards your FH. Just out of dissapointment.
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Posted 5/17/04 10:17 AM
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JZNCK
I am MRS. Z
Member since 9/03 4156 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/12/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at Eastwind Caterers
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
For those of you who think that I have to have them I already asked
Wouldn't it look strange with 5 girs, and no guys???? He is NOT having GM.
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Posted 5/17/04 10:17 AM
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JZNCK
I am MRS. Z
Member since 9/03 4156 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/12/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at Eastwind Caterers
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Thats tough, are u sure that YOU dont want a big bridal party?
I'm sure NOW.. I love them all very much, as long as they are at my wedding, I'll be happy. I just wish I would of waited, I don't want to hurt anyone!!!
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Posted 5/17/04 10:18 AM
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JimmysBride
Board Princess
Member since 7/03 10135 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
SandCastle
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
This is kind of tough. I mean, normally, I would say you can't "unask" them... but since you are both planning on cutting EVERYONE out except for the MOH, BM and the little ones... it kind of makes it more fair. I think that if you do decide to do this, you should tell them it's for financial reasons that you can't have a large BP.... most people understand $$$ and they might not be as hurt or offended. But don't do it just because your BP would be uneven because that's not really a big deal. Good luck! 
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Posted 5/17/04 10:20 AM
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PrincessRose
At least I'm entertaining. ;-)
Member since 9/03 4669 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/29/2004 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I went to a wedding where there were a TON of GMs and ONE BM.
It was fine.
You need to keep them - if they want to back out because of the dress, that's their decision. But you need to keep them.
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Posted 5/17/04 10:20 AM
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brideinapril
My First Love.....
Member since 11/03 4449 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/17/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Rockhill in Manorville
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I think you should keep it the way it is, you already asked them, I'm sure they are excited and would be very disappointed if you told them forget it.
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Posted 5/17/04 10:25 AM
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TwoBugs
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Member since 8/03 2394 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I'm probably in the minority here, but I would completely understand if one of my friends changed her mind about the size of her wedding party after she asked me to be a BM.
I would be disappointed briefly, but as a friend, I would only want the bride and groom to be happy.
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Posted 5/17/04 10:29 AM
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belleboyd
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/04 531 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/31/2004 9:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Sans Souci
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Posted by TwoBugs
I'm probably in the minority here, but I would completely understand if one of my friends changed her mind about the size of her wedding party after she asked me to be a BM.
I would be disappointed briefly, but as a friend, I would only want the bride and groom to be happy.
Agreed.
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Posted 5/17/04 11:17 AM
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Jante
Board Enthusiast
Member since 3/04 93 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/13/2004 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Majestic Gardens
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I am having 6 bms and 1 moh. Fh is only having 1 BM and 2 groomsmen. Who cares if it is uneven. Do what makes you happy.
Message edited 5/17/2004 12:17:50 PM.
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Posted 5/17/04 12:17 PM
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jennandrob
us!
Member since 11/03 2869 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/2/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace A+++++
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
From experience, I've been in 5 bridal parties...and honestly I wouldn't have minded being un-asked, due to the bride/groom wanting to make the wedding party considerably smaller. It's not like you're picking other people in their place. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt and tell them straight out.
Good Luck!
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Posted 5/17/04 1:00 PM
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JZNCK
I am MRS. Z
Member since 9/03 4156 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/12/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Estate at Eastwind Caterers
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
From experience, I've been in 5 bridal parties...and honestly I wouldn't have minded being un-asked, due to the bride/groom wanting to make the wedding party considerably smaller. It's not like you're picking other people in their place. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt and tell them straight out.
I think I'm just going to ask them, what they think. Would they rather be in the wedding alone, or would the rather not. I think they may be ok with it, because it's saving them money as well. I'll ask and see what they say. THANKS GIRLS.. I'm really sensitive, and i don't know exactly how I would feel... and I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE!!
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Posted 5/17/04 1:39 PM
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Summer05
We're Married!!!!
Member since 5/04 3789 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/21/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I think that if you explain the situation to them they should understand. I know that I would be ok with it as long as I could be at the wedding... that is all that matters.
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Posted 5/17/04 1:42 PM
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tourist
Beyond Obsession
Member since 12/03 9094 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Carriage House
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
I would understnd, b/c it is just going to be 1 & 1.
I would try & give them other jobs if possible.
Just tell them, we decided not to have a bridal party, but you all mean so much to me & I'd liekt o have you involved in the wedding, so I would like you to do readings, hand out bubbles/programs/ rose petals, etc)
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Posted 5/17/04 2:16 PM
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Boop2704
It's A Sickness!
Member since 3/03 6050 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/7/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stuart Thomas Manor A+++++++
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Since they don't like the dresses, maybe you could sort of try and give them an out. Tell them that is what you want and if they don't like them and don't want to spend the money, you would totally understand them not wanting to be in the bridal party, but you still want them at your wedding, as they are a big part of your life.
But if they don't back out on their own, I don't think it is right to kick them out. You already asked and that could cause problems with your friendship. You really have to weigh your options here and decide whats best for you, FH and the people that this will be affecting and their feelings!! JMO!!
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Posted 5/17/04 4:13 PM
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bridget&jimmy
I have found true love :o)
Member since 6/03 2575 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/19/2005 12:45 AM
Wed. Location:
The Inn at East Wind Southampton Ballroom A+++++
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Posted by jennandrob
From experience, I've been in 5 bridal parties...and honestly I wouldn't have minded being un-asked, due to the bride/groom wanting to make the wedding party considerably smaller. It's not like you're picking other people in their place. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt and tell them straight out.
Good Luck!
I agree with this, and I think if you give them the choice they will think more that it was there decission. Like listen money is tight so Johnathan is not having any groomsmen. Then I felt you girls might feel akward walking down alone so I understand if you dont want to be in the bridal party anymore.
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Posted 5/17/04 4:16 PM
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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5969 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Believe me when I say that I can relate to wanting to trim the BP. But, I have to agree that it's too late. You already asked them.
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Posted 5/17/04 4:18 PM
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Kriss2c
Don't pet the sweaty things!!
Member since 1/04 4830 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2004 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
**
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Re: Changing my bridal party???!!!??? need advice
Personally, I would not be offended; but I know that others might.
I think you are kind of stuck unless you can thin the crowd a little with offering a lower profiled position in your nuptials.... like a reading at the ceremony or making sure the guest book gets signed, watching the gift/card table, etc.
Message edited 5/17/2004 4:20:44 PM.
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Posted 5/17/04 4:20 PM
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