10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

Well as some of you may remember, my bridesmaids dresses came in and didn't fit - I thought this meant they were a "little" small but apparently, as everyone finally told me last night (why they waited I don't know), they don't fit at all - nobody can sit down or move in them and they all ride up and look horrible. My 7 girls range in weight from 100 pounds to 150+, so obviously it's the make of the dress (Vera Wang) and the improper measurements (Bridal Couture) that caused this problem.

My wedding is now 10 days away and I haven't stopped crying in 2 days - what do I do now? Make all the girls wear them, look bad, and be miserable? Forget about having a bridal party altogether and tell them to all just come as guests and wear what they want? The store can't do anything (we tried) and since the dresses were expensive, I can't make them all go out and buy something else off the rack at this point. The funniest part is (which isn't so funny) that I purposely picked this style of dress b/c it was loose and flowy and I thought it would fit everyone, including my very pregnant sister-in-law. Turns out she is the ONLY one that it fits!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

OMG - I have no words to make you feel better, I just feel really badly for you. Why can't the store do anything, when it was obviously their mistake?

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

Don't give up. Take the dresses to another seamstress! There must be something they can do...And don't let the bridal salon get away with doing this either!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

The dress is chiffon and there was NO extra material in the seams, so there is nothing a seamstress can do. I'm not going to let the store get away with it, I'm planning on suing them after the wedding.

Honestly - if YOU were the BM with the tight dress - would you just wear it to the wedding and suck it up and not make me feel worse? Or would you refuse?

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I'm so sorry you have to deal w/this so close to your wedding. That does sound like a bad situation. Maybe they can just wear it long enough for the ceremony & pics and then change for the reception?

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

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Posted by kpny622

Honestly - if YOU were the BM with the tight dress - would you just wear it to the wedding and suck it up and not make me feel worse? Or would you refuse?

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Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

thank you Christine! I kind of do wish nobody had told me...

I do feel awful about them having to wear the dress but honestly, I totally tried to pick a dress that would be flattering to all. Granted, I FAILED miserably, but I did try.

If they want to change at the reception that's fine I guess - I don't really care about anything at this point. I mean, I'll be at my own wedding, just worrying about THEM, which sucks!

I was going to ask them if they would let me buy them body slimmers (like a girdle) but I'm not sure I should bring anything else up at this point b/c it's a very sensitive situation.

I'm also upset b/c 3 of them are from FH family and I am apparently starting off with the family on a bad note!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I would wear it for my friend if I were them-
sending you lots of hugs

sorry you have to deal with this

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

This is clearly something beyond your control and I am sure they are aware of it and don't blame you, they are probably really upset about the entire situation.

I hope it all works out well



ETA: could you add a chiffon wrap or something to the dress? Maybe if part of it is covered, they won't feel as uncomfortable.

Message edited 6/2/2004 8:50:32 AM.

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I agree with Christine... ask then to wear the dresses for the ceremony abd pictures and then let them change. That is the best you can do it this situation.

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I don't think a wrap would help because it's tight mostly around the bottom area, not the top.

Thanks for all your good thoughts!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I am so so sorry -
maybe they can get one of those body suit type of things that really suck you in! i know those are said to make you loose inches! Good luck! You wedding will be beautiful no matter what!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

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Posted by nov.bride


I would wear it for my friend if I were them-
sending you lots of hugs

sorry you have to deal with this

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Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

Can you do the "wear any dress in X color" (I would choose black since almost everyone has a cute little black dress) thing and just have a bridal party in different styles? Since you are going to sue, and I would imagine win, then promise them a refund when it is over...

Take a deep breath! It will all be ok no matter what. It is not your fault and they can't hate you!

Good luck!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I'm confused - how did this happen in the first place? Did the store mess up the order?

I agree with the body slimmer thing - it REALLY does help. If I were your BM, I'd suck it up and deal - it's called being a friend. My friend got married this weekend, and she chose bloody awful dresses for her BMs, and even though they all hated the dress, they wore it anyway.

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I am so sorry! I agree that maybe they can wear the dress for the ceremony and pictures and then change. Or the idea about a dress in "x color" is not bad. I am so sorry you have to deal with this!

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

Is there any way they can turn the dress into a long skirt and then the girls can buy twin sets to wear on top?

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I'm sorry that this happened to you. The body slimmers sound like a good idea...

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I have to say this is a really tough situation. I feel really bad for you. You can't really ask them to wear dresses that are too small, they will be so uncomfortable and could be at risk of a split seam or something popping out.

I think the idea of asking them to fast or diet or do extra cardio or do a wrap to lose a few pounds is barbaric.

Is it possible for dresses to be swapped so some of them will fit into dresses ordered for the girls bigger then them and then find a couple replacement dresses instead of all being replaced?

Or let them get something inexpensive or wear something they already have that fits into a color or style scheme.

The Bridal shop SHOULD be fixing this for you. I'd plan on suing them too.

Overall remember what the day is about. It's not about 7 of your closest friends all wearing the same dress. It's about you and your fiance making a lifelong commitment to eachother and ultimately - who cares what anyone is wearing.

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I'm going to be in the minority. If the dresses are REALLY that bad (and only you can tell if this is being blown out of proportion) I would let the girls each wear their own black dress. It was my Plan "B" if I needed a plan "B". I would ask to see some of your friends in their dresses. Truthfully, if they are very ill fitting, your friends will be uncomfortable and this will show on their faces in the pictures. Also, if the store really did mess up, I'd consider fighting them on it.

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

I am so sorry. I have no advice only some .

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

My first instinct would be that it was me, not the store or the dress, so I would have already bought a body slimmer by now. If it fits enough that you can get it on, then a body slimmer should be enough to make it fit enough to sit down.

I also like the idea of having them change for the reception.

So, why do they hate you? Do they realize it was the store's mistake? Have they proposed anyway to help?

Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

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Posted by kpny622

Honestly - if YOU were the BM with the tight dress - would you just wear it to the wedding and suck it up and not make me feel worse? Or would you refuse?

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Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time

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Posted by patti08
I think the idea of asking them to fast or diet or do extra cardio or do a wrap to lose a few pounds is barbaric.

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