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Wedding Forums > Brides Helping Brides ™ > 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
2bewedin04
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:55 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:55 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
I'm going to be in the minority. If the dresses are REALLY that bad (and only you can tell if this is being blown out of proportion) I would let the girls each wear their own black dress. It was my Plan 'B' if I needed a plan 'B'. I would ask to see some of your friends in their dresses. Truthfully, if they are very ill fitting, your friends will be uncomfortable and this will show on their faces in the pictures. Also, if the store really did mess up, I'd consider fighting them on it.
diamondgrlie
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:58 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:58 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
I am so sorry. I have no advice only some
.
tourist
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:59 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 09:59 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
My first instinct would be that it was me, not the store or the dress, so I would have already bought a body slimmer by now. If it fits enough that you can get it on, then a body slimmer should be enough to make it fit enough to sit down.I also like the idea of having them change for the reception.
So, why do they hate you? Do they realize it was the store's mistake? Have they proposed anyway to help?
Kriss2c
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:10 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:10 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by kpny622
Honestly - if YOU were the BM with the tight dress - would you just wear it to the wedding and suck it up and not make me feel worse? Or would you refuse?
When my MOH got married, I hated the dress she made me wear.... but I wore it. I personally would suck it up and do my best not to add to your growing stress level. I know I am not the only one with a collection of bad BM dresses in her closet.
ChristineC68
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:13 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:13 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by patti08
I think the idea of asking them to fast or diet or do extra cardio or do a wrap to lose a few pounds is barbaric.
Just to be clear, I said that's what I WOULD do if I were in the situation of wearing a dress that was too tight in ten days.
The original poster made no such suggestion!
I don't want her to get attacked for something she did not say.
nferrandi
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:14 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:14 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
I think having the girls wear black dresses is the best option I've heard. I guess the second would be wearing the dress for photos and ceremony and then having them change. If you're going to sue the store, than you may want to have them wear the black dresses. Your case against them would be pretty solid. If they find out the girls wore them at all, they may try to pull some B.S. that if they were good enough to wear than you have no case against them.
Salason626
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:21 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:21 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
how did the BMs not tell you how bad it was until less than 2 weeks until your wedding???I know its short notice but what if you called the store and see if they could RUSH dresses to compensate? i dont know how reasonable that is though. The black dresses are a good idea also.
tourist
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:27 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 10:27 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by nferrandi
If you're going to sue the store, than you may want to have them wear the black dresses. Your case against them would be pretty solid. If they find out the girls wore them at all, they may try to pull some B.S. that if they were good enough to wear than you have no case against them.
That's a good point. I persoanlly don't own a black dress, but it would be easy enough to find an inexpensive one of short notice , i owuld think, if I was your BM, & I wouldn't mind sepnidnthe money because
a) It would make your life easier
b) I'd feel more comfortable
c) I could probably wear the dress again.
kpny622
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:16 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:16 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
I agree that black dresses are a alternative option but due to finances, I can't ask them to go out and buy yet another dress, and I can't pay for it. Also, I really did not want a black and white wedding and my mother would give me 10 times MORE stress if I did that.I would never ask them to lose weight (and how much weight could they lose in 10 days anyway).
I guess whoever said that I had to see them was right - I do need to see how bad they really are in person.
As for why they hate me...I think they just feel that I chose the dress without considering their body types. The ironic thing is that it's exactly what I considered. I was just wrong.
Thanks for all your suggestions, it does help.
PrincessRose
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:20 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:20 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
The right Shapers REALLY do Help!!!!!!!!
to you!!!!!!!
nylibride
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:35 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:35 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
so sorry! I agree with the ladies that suggested either a) they change after the ceremony and pictures or...
b) the black dress idea. Most people own them anyway.
I think you're right you can't ask them to buy something else entirely. This may be a really dumb question, but is there no way you could pay for an alternate off-the-rack if they really are un-wearable.
This will work out no matter what. The day is about you and your future husband, not the bridesmaids dresses. Please let us know how this works out!
Mrs.Miller2b
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:45 AM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 11:45 AM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
if worst comes to worse why don't you try going to davids bridal? they always have stuff on the rack. so sorry you are going through this.
Rob-luvs-me
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:01 PM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:01 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by kpny622
Well as some of you may remember, my bridesmaids dresses came in and didn't fit - I thought this meant they were a 'little' small but apparently, as everyone finally told me last night (why they waited I don't know), they don't fit at all - nobody can sit down or move in them and they all ride up and look horrible. My 7 girls range in weight from 100 pounds to 150+, so obviously it's the make of the dress (Vera Wang) and the improper measurements (Bridal Couture) that caused this problem.
Ok first what done is done and can't be changed but I think you can fix it and still be happy.
Just so you know Bridal Couture is NOT an authorized vera wang dealer (according to Vera Wang's website) When I was looking at Vera wang the only two stores on LI that were authorized were wedding salon and adriennes. I just checked their site and they do not list bridal couture as selling maids dresses.
So that might be one arguement you could make with them.
Here is what I would do - I know it is not a perfect plan but IF the store messed up on their measuring and ordering (esp if they are not authorized dealers which you would need to investigate and be sure of) you can go into NYC to Bloomie - they sell vera wangs off the rack in their BM section (as well as other bm dresses) have your girls buy the dresses then sue Bridal Couture for the money you had to spend to buy new dresses due to their screw up.
kpny622
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:19 PM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:19 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
wow, I wonder if bloomies would have the dress, same color, different size...I will have to check that out, thanksvera wang as at couture doing a trunk show when I bought the dresses from them
it is probably that vera wang dresses just run 3-4 sizes too small....but someone should have known and told us that!
Rob-luvs-me
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:26 PM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:26 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Vera wangs don't run 3-4 sizes too small because all of my girls got either the same size they are or one size bigger. And with the exception of one girl who admitted she gained weight all the dresses were slightly big on them. My MOH got a 2 and she is a 0 and she took hers to the VW recommended seamstress - who told her that they run big - she had to have every single seam taken in by about 2 sizes.Did you call VW and see if there is anything they can do- like giving you sample dresses or something? Their showroom carries dresses in 3-4 sizes - They might have miss cut the dresses too - since they were all made at the same time
kpny622
Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:30 PM+

Posted: Jun 02, 2004 12:30 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
interesting...well the store called VW and the VW factory to see if we could get ANYTHING and apparently we cannot -
my MOH is a size 0 as well and her size 2 is too small so maybe they were all miscut - either that or the store grossly mismeasured
KRISTYRUSSELL
Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:23 PM+

Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:23 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Oh my God....that is just so terrible, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help you. Wish I had a magic fast way to make it all better, but I will think all night and try to come up with something to help U...... keep your chin up and smile, there is a solutions, dont worry.... thats why we are all here, brides helping brides right...what color are the girls dresses.
wifey08
Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:27 PM+

Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:27 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by KRISTYRUSSELL
Oh my God....that is just so terrible, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help you. Wish I had a magic fast way to make it all better, but I will think all night and try to come up with something to help U...... keep your chin up and smile, there is a solutions, dont worry.... thats why we are all here, brides helping brides right...
what color are the girls dresses.
this is over 3 yrs old...just in case u didnt notice the date
leena07
Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:27 PM+

Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:27 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
Posted by KRISTYRUSSELL
Oh my God....that is just so terrible, I am so sorry, please let me know if I can do anything to help you. Wish I had a magic fast way to make it all better, but I will think all night and try to come up with something to help U...... keep your chin up and smile, there is a solutions, dont worry.... thats why we are all here, brides helping brides right...
what color are the girls dresses.
her wedding was in 2004.
BunnyBride
Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:32 PM+

Posted: Apr 02, 2007 06:32 PM
Re: 10 days to go and my BMs hate me big time
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