FI NOT wearing a ring

I posted before, but I couldn't find it. Your advice was not to take his last name - I tried it, no good - - he STILL doesn't want to wear one. I just bought a $500.00 ring for him - he wants me to return it - I'm so hurt. Any advice??

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I'm sorry to hear that you are hurt. What is your FI's reason for not wearing a ring? Does he not like wearing jewerly? My FI does not wear jewerly at all and it will be a huge adjustment for him to get used to a ring - but he is willing to do it. My advice - tell you FI how upset his decision makes you and see how he reacts. If he is understanding, he should realize how important this is to you. Good Luck!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Did you tell him you were hurt?

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Yes! He does not wear jewlery at all. He says it's uncomfortable!

I can understand, and he's willing to do some other major things, like - every child we have will have my last name as their middle name b/c I'm the last one.

But it still bothers me. I don't think there's an answer, but I thought I'd try.

Thanks

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Well here's another suggestion :) If your FI says that it's uncomfortable, what about having him wear a ring occasionally now before you get married so it won't be such an "adjustment"? I would continue to express your feelings about the issue. You shouldn't have to compromise how you feel because he claims "it's uncomfortable". If it's important to you, it should be important to him! Good Luck :)

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I understand that you are upset...and I probably would be also if my DH did not want to wear a ring. Explain to your FH what it means to you...and why it's important to you.

But...my dad never wore a ring...I know he has one, but I've never seen him wear it...I don't think it meant that he loved my mom any less...it just wasn't his thing. (They will be married 39 years in December).

Message edited 6/7/2004 8:19:39 PM.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

If he's so uncomfortable wearing jewelry, tell him to get a ring tattooed on his ring finger. I would be hurt too so I hear ya... and btw, I am totally serious about the tattoo. If my FH tried to pull that crap on me, that's what I would do. Otherwise, I'd immediately stop wearing my e-ring and also choose not to wear a wedding ring.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

Yes! He does not wear jewlery at all. He says it's uncomfortable!

I can understand, and he's willing to do some other major things, like - every child we have will have my last name as their middle name b/c I'm the last one.

But it still bothers me. I don't think there's an answer, but I thought I'd try.

Thanks

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Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I would be hurt too. I like what Jimmysbride suggested. A tattoo is permanent and won't be uncomfortable. Good suggestion! Do you think he will go for it?

Kim

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

i would have been very hurt if my husband didn't want to wear a wedding ring.
he never wore jewelry before we got married, but he wears his ring every day now! at first, he felt strange with it on because he wansn't used to it...but now, it's like a part of his finger (only two months later)
and seriously, if it's a case of comfort.....i'd ask him to wear a corset and a wedding gown for 12 hours straight and see how comfortable he thinks that is!!!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Is he a mechanic? If so, that's probably the only "good" reason to not wear one. I was the one who said not to take his last name. It worked for me. Find out what in this wedding is important to him and give him an ultimatum. Good Luck!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Oh wow, JT had MAJOR issues in the ring department! So much so that he had a panic attack when we picked them out because he was SURE the ring was not able to come off and was stuck there! BABY!
BUT..........he has been wearing it on his right hand to get used to wearing jewelry and he is finally used to it. Now I keep telling him to retire it until we get married, and he doesn't want to take it off! I suggest trying to get your FH to do a trial run for like a month. Not just a day or a few, but a month. It takes time to get used to. It took me forever to get used to my e-ring and I wear other rings. But it's big and sticks out from my body and has so much connotation to it that it was a hard and symbolic transition.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

What does he do for a living? If he is a mechanic, like one of the girls said, or contractor, etc, it could be really dangerous for him to wear one. If that is the case, would he just wear it on special occasions?
Im so sorry, i would feel so awful if my FH wouldnt wear one.

-Jenn

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I would be mad I think, they can make a comfortable ring these days...and ya know a friend has his wifes name tattoo'd on his ring finger because he plays a lot of sports and didnt want to wear a ring....its an idea!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Miss M
My Fh isn't wearing a ring
I was there and I saw him marry me - he doesn't wear jewelry and we will get married in a ring and that's that. I am not pressuring him about this- I am a firm believer in picking your battles.
We will get rings & he can wear it if he wants1

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I'm in the same plate as luvsun27. My parents have been married for 25 years, and my mom told me that daddy only wore it the day of the wedding. He hates jewelry. All he wears is a watch and a cross that was given to him by my grandma.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by CS020604

Well here's another suggestion :) If your FI says that it's uncomfortable, what about having him wear a ring occasionally now before you get married so it won't be such an "adjustment"? I would continue to express your feelings about the issue. You shouldn't have to compromise how you feel because he claims "it's uncomfortable". If it's important to you, it should be important to him! Good Luck :)

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Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My husband is a mechanic for ConEd and still wears a ring. He has a good ring & a work ring but if the need arises he can take it off at work BUT......he ALWAYS wears it!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

Were you able to find a thin"comfort fit ring"?

I agree to pick and choose your battles- thats how we stay together----- but if its that important to you, maybe have him pick out a really THIN plain comfort fit. That shouldn't be more then 65- 150and then use the remainder of what you spent on earrings.

Otherwise, just trust his commitment to you.

Maybe he just doesn't get how much this means to you.

Good Luck!

Edited to adjust prices.

Message edited 6/7/2004 10:18:02 PM.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My FI says he won't wear his wedding ring either...but its because he works outside (he does sprinklers and landscaping). He's afraid that he will lose it, damage it, or get his finger smushed in it (lol)...we compromised-he has to wear it whenever he is not working!!

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

I know you are hurt because you want him to wear it, but it doesn't make you less married.

Will he at least exchange rings during the ceremony? That would bother me but not if he didn't wear it every day.

In fact I have horrible eczema on my hands and can't wear rings so I don't wear mine too frequently, DH understands.

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My DH wears his ring after a little nagging but honestly I wouldn't feel offended if he didn't want to wear one. My father never wore a ring nor did my grandfather and both were very devoted to their wives.

I would still buy him a ring and exchange at the ceremony and ask him if he could wear it on special occasions or weekends while he's not at work. Compromise....key to marriage : ).

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

My FI isn't going to wear a ring. He got a cheap one to wear for the ceremony. My dad never wore one. I really don't care. Some men do not like jewelry. I honestly dont' think it is about looking available to other women. Nagging him is going to make him resentful of wearing the ring so I would let it go. If you know he is faithful - what difference does it make. I know it bothers you but think about how you'd feel wearing a piece of jewelry you didn't like?

Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

I posted before, but I couldn't find it. Your advice was not to take his last name - I tried it, no good - - he STILL doesn't want to wear one. I just bought a $500.00 ring for him - he wants me to return it - I'm so hurt. Any advice??

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Re: FI NOT wearing a ring

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Posted by MissM

I posted before, but I couldn't find it. Your advice was not to take his last name - I tried it, no good - - he STILL doesn't want to wear one. I just bought a $500.00 ring for him - he wants me to return it - I'm so hurt. Any advice??

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