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snowprincess805
happily married
Member since 4/04 1941 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/13/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Bourne Mansion
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is it tacky? (invitation question)
I was reading on the knot -that you are only supposed to wear long dresses to weddings that say formal reception - but NY weddings almost everyone wears long dresses to an evening wedding
I have a lot of guest coming fromthe sticks of western Pennslavania should i write
Formal Reception to follow
Is that tacky?
I don't want other people to wear tuxs - so i do not want black tie optional
thanks
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Posted 6/17/04 3:42 PM 
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sophie78
It's An Obsession
Member since 4/03 3421 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Formal reception implies black tie imo
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Posted 6/17/04 3:44 PM
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snowprincess805
happily married
Member since 4/04 1941 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/13/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Bourne Mansion
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Thats what i was afraid of - thats what it implies to New yorkers but not to other states - i don't know how to convey to Pennslavia guests that it is formal
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Posted 6/17/04 3:49 PM
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nferrandi
We did it!
Member since 12/03 5367 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The Crescent
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I don't think "formal reception to follow" implies black tie. FH doesn't want it to be black tie, but we do want to make it very clear that is a "dressy" affair. We're having the ceremony at the hall so we're writing "formal reception to follow."
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Posted 6/17/04 3:51 PM
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chicagogal
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/03 550 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/26/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Carlyle on the Green
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I don't think that sounds tacky.
People outside NY are less formal though. i've been to weddings out here (even at fancy places) where guys just show up in khakis and polos and if it was during the day...khaki shorts.
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Posted 6/17/04 4:05 PM
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KimberlyBride
How did I get so lucky?
Member since 2/04 8871 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/15/2005 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I know how you are feeling. One of my FH's Uncles asked if he could wear jeans!!!!! He is a farmer in Oneonta, NY. WAY WAY WAY upstate. I was like huh!!!! But he nicely told him a suit is appropriate. Too funny!
Kim
Message edited 6/17/2004 4:18:12 PM.
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Posted 6/17/04 4:17 PM
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snowprincess805
happily married
Member since 4/04 1941 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/13/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Bourne Mansion
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
The reason i am more scared is that i was at a wedding this weekend in PA/WV at a golf resort - and there were people in shorts and it was an evening wedding
also- we may have too much food in NY -but there was not enough food at this wedding - the CH was just vegatable and fruit platter and two type of passed appatizers and then a buffet for dinner
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Posted 6/17/04 4:21 PM
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MegLehner
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/03 1045 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/16/2004 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Bourne Mansion
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I dont think it is "tacky" per se. I do think people sometimes get annoyed when invites tell them how to dress - thats just what I have heard from other people.
If you write formal reception to follow though - some people from NY might wear tuxes and you said you dont want that.
I want my wedding to be really formal - tuxes and gowns. I have black tie on website and having my mom and fam pass the word around.
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Posted 6/17/04 4:32 PM
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tourist
Beyond Obsession
Member since 12/03 9094 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/9/2004 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Carriage House
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
i have heard you don't put anything unless its black tie, black tie invited, or white tie.
I'm not sure what formal would convey to most people. How formal?
Message edited 6/17/2004 4:35:46 PM.
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Posted 6/17/04 4:35 PM
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Bebalina
HAPPY HOMEOWNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 1/04 4893 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/14/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow Country Club 10+++++++++++++++
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I think u should do it and just write formal reception to follow...in a case like this u have no choice...
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Posted 6/17/04 4:51 PM
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aimerliny
Not a newlywed anymore...
Member since 5/04 1861 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/6/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Island Hills Golf & Country Club
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
We put "Formal attire requested" in the bottom right corner. We didn't want to put Black Tie Optional, because we felt that New Yorkers would then wear tuxes. But this way, out of towners know to wear gowns and dark suits.
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Posted 6/17/04 5:09 PM
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jill13bean
Where did the time go?
Member since 1/04 2894 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2005 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The wedding of my dreams!!!
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
i would write black tie optional... but only for a night time wedding......JMO
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Posted 6/17/04 5:10 PM
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bellepoque
Very happy!
Member since 8/03 1287 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/7/2004 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Vanderbilt Mansion, Oakdale
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
We used our reception card to let guests know that we are requesting formal attire. By formal attire we mean suits for men, cocktail dresses for women. We have told everyone in our wedding parties; our families and our close friends what we mean by "formal attire" to pass it on to anyone who is invited to ask them.
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Posted 6/17/04 5:21 PM
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Marisa&Brian
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/04 803 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Posted by am470
Formal reception implies black tie imo
I disagree. - "Black Tie" means Black Tie
"Formal Reception" means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual
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Posted 6/17/04 8:06 PM
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Stacey04
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/04 2288 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/27/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonards of Great Neck
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Posted by am470
Formal reception implies black tie imo
I disagree. - "Black Tie" means Black Tie
"Formal Reception" means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual
I agree..I don't even know if some people from NY would wear tuxs if it said Formal, b/c they know if it was intended to be/say Black Tie, it would say Black Tie, not formal reception
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Posted 6/17/04 8:24 PM
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hbradio
Our board is gone :-(
Member since 11/03 9840 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/29/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Posted by KimberlyBride
I know how you are feeling. One of my FH's Uncles asked if he could wear jeans!!!!! He is a farmer in Oneonta, NY. WAY WAY WAY upstate. I was like huh!!!! But he nicely told him a suit is appropriate. Too funny!
Kim
3 of my BM and like 15 of my friends are coming from the suburbs of Rochester NY - WAY further than Oneonta so I know what you are saying!!! I went to a wedding up there in a black dress and the girls there had on sweaters & dress pants!!!! Hello I wear that to work!
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Posted 6/17/04 8:39 PM
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RedHead
6 people and counting :*
Member since 10/03 18761 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/2/2004 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow :)
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Posted by Stacey04
Posted by Marisa&Brian
Posted by am470
Formal reception implies black tie imo
I disagree. - "Black Tie" means Black Tie
"Formal Reception" means just that, it's NOT Balck Tie, but it is not at all casual
I agree..I don't even know if some people from NY would wear tuxs if it said Formal, b/c they know if it was intended to be/say Black Tie, it would say Black Tie, not formal reception
I AGREE WITH BOTH!
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Posted 6/17/04 9:00 PM
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MayBride06
It's all about the flatbread!!
Member since 11/03 5556 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
out east
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
Posted by snowprincess805
The reason i am more scared is that i was at a wedding this weekend in PA/WV at a golf resort - and there were people in shorts and it was an evening wedding
also- we may have too much food in NY -but there was not enough food at this wedding - the CH was just vegatable and fruit platter and two type of passed appatizers and then a buffet for dinner
New Yorkers always have to do everything to the extreme. Thats why weddings cost $40,000 here
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Posted 6/17/04 9:03 PM
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JLP
^ Not my initials anymore!
Member since 4/04 1099 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/12/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
The Riviera
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
The etiquette books say that writing anything about attire on the invite is improper, but I disagree. I've seen it done a million times and I've never been offended. If anything, I was always glad for the direction.
Go for it. It is your wedding. Anyone who doesn't like it can go swallow a brick.
 
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Posted 6/17/04 11:38 PM
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Corduroy94
Very Happily Married!
Member since 8/03 1845 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/4/2005 4:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow A++
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
All of my FI family is coming from a small town (pop 1600) in Wisconsin. When we were out there in a Wallmart there was a lady asking the salesperson for help finding an outfit....She said "I'm going to an evening wedding in a few weeks & it't at a pretty fancy catering hall. I want something really nice! Do you have anything in DENIM?!"
I am SO AFRAID this will happen to us! The costomer was so excited to see denim Koolot (sp?) outfits & dresses. I love (most of) these people who are coming. I'm more worried not about how they'll look but how THEY'LL FELL surrounded by these fancy New Yorkers...
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Posted 6/18/04 10:28 AM
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tina_cuse01
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/04 594 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/16/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Garden City Hotel
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Re: is it tacky? (invitation question)
I don't think that is tacky at all. Nor do I think it implies 'Black Tie'. Since you have a lot of OOT guests I would put that.
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Posted 6/18/04 12:36 PM
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