Brides Helping Brides ™ - A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

JZNCK Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:21 PM+

JZNCK MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4152 WEDDING DATE: Mar 12, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:21 PM

A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I like to get things done.. i want a guest list.. I want to know how many people we're having, who we're having, how much money we owe etc.. I asked my FMIL for her guest list as soon as she can (we've been engaged for 1 year) and I meant like September, not tomorrow!! and she said that she's not sure who she is inviting, so she'll have the guest list to us by DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DECEMBER??? That is only 3 months before the WEDDING!!!!!!! I have to get invites, plan out my budget in DECEMBER??? UGGHH.. Would you be annoyed????????????????????

james'pokey Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:22 PM+

james'pokey MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1218 WEDDING DATE: Jun 25, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:22 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would be. I think you should explain to her your reasoning for needing the list early. It is only right. Good Luck!

KimberlyBride Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:22 PM+

KimberlyBride MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 8869 WEDDING DATE: Oct 15, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:22 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Yes very! Did you explain to her about the invites and the budget planning? I think she is being inconsiderate. Have your FH talk to her. It is his responsibility to get this from her, not yours. Good luck! So glad you have a great trip to LI!

Kim

JZNCK Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM+

JZNCK MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4152 WEDDING DATE: Mar 12, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

i mean am I freaking out for no reason, or is December late to have a guest list for a march wedding..

I will need invites/ calligrapher I'll be rushed I think

RedHead Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM+

RedHead MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 18740 WEDDING DATE: Oct 02, 2004

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

YES! I would give her date that YOU CHOOSE to have it done! ANd thats that!

Murray Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM+

Murray MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 195 WEDDING DATE: Oct 30, 2004

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

First, I would just tell her when you need it, obviously before Dec. IF she says that is not possible, you need to tell her you need it in order to plan the wedding...if she still does not give it to you...then yes, I would get annoyed.

chichila15 Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM+

chichila15 MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2294 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:23 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I'd be a little agitated, too, but I wouldn't blow up on her about it. Just talk to her, and express that you need the list beforehand. Give her a deadline.

september2004 Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:32 PM+

september2004 MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 3381 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2004

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:32 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Posted by chichila15

I'd be a little agitated, too, but I wouldn't blow up on her about it. Just talk to her, and express that you need the list beforehand. Give her a deadline.

totally...

start saying things like 'i was thinking about X guests per family, X friends, X family'...

she'll come up with a list real quick

the only reason i had an 'easy' time with FMIL is because my FSIL who got married last year gave me her list! we cut hers to about a third

jill13bean Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:44 PM+

jill13bean MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2893 WEDDING DATE: Apr 30, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 10:44 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would be annoyed... i would tell her you need to order your invites, favors, and you need an estimate etc.

ThongLori Posted: Jul 08, 2004 11:46 PM+

ThongLori MEMBER SINCE: 4/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1713 WEDDING DATE: Sep 16, 2004

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 11:46 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I always find a hard deadline works much better than 'as soon as you can.'

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Jul 08, 2004 11:54 PM+

MamanDaddyof2 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1769 WEDDING DATE: Mar 18, 2005

Posted: Jul 08, 2004 11:54 PM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Oh yes I would be pissed FH called his mom last night and basically told her who he is inviting and asked if he left anyone out she couldnt think of any so thats it now.....seriously December what is she insane like you have nothing else to do

MrsBrad Posted: Jul 09, 2004 12:24 AM+

MrsBrad MEMBER SINCE: 2/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1950 WEDDING DATE: Nov 13, 2004

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 12:24 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

thats way too late in my opinion ... we have a preliminary list in March and the final list was done today

afterall, you need to order your invites and have the calligraphered. and of course budget. you should explain all this to her

June13/04 Posted: Jul 09, 2004 02:21 AM+

June13/04 MEMBER SINCE: 7/03 TOTAL POSTS : 41 WEDDING DATE: Jun 13, 2004 WEDDING LOCATION: St. Hughes/Bridgeview Yacht Club

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 02:21 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I found that not knowing how many guests were coming is what held up the whole process. I was engaged for a year and a half thinking I had so much time - but there was so much i couldn't do till i knew how many people were coming. It is not fair to you that she should be so unconcerned with your timeable. The sooner u know the sooner u can get things done!

laudipop Posted: Jul 09, 2004 02:43 AM+

laudipop MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 449 WEDDING DATE: Oct 30, 2004

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 02:43 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would just show her one of those checklists they have in all the magazines and books that say you should order your invitations four months before the wedding!

MrsK-in-June05 Posted: Jul 09, 2004 06:33 AM+

MrsK-in-June05 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2179 WEDDING DATE: Jan 02, 2005

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 06:33 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Don't get me started on FMIL, search for a thread I did tuesday or wednesday. It was called 'FMIL is a pain my rear'. Pffft.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 09, 2004 07:56 AM+

prncssrachel MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 11213 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2005 WEDDING LOCATION: Stewart Manor Country Club

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 07:56 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Posted by JZNCK

I like to get things done.. i want a guest list.. I want to know how many people we're having, who we're having, how much money we owe etc.. I asked my FMIL for her guest list as soon as she can (we've been engaged for 1 year) and I meant like September, not tomorrow!! and she said that she's not sure who she is inviting, so she'll have the guest list to us by DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DECEMBER??? That is only 3 months before the WEDDING!!!!!!! I have to get invites, plan out my budget in DECEMBER??? UGGHH.. Would you be annoyed????????????????????

Um, well, at least she's promising you a guest list at SOME point

My FMIL keeps telling me not to invite their family because they won't come

What kind of sh!t is that?!!?!?!?!?!?!? Then she tells me, 'Oh, well, it's your wedding, invite who you want. It's not my place to tell you who to invite.' ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA STRANGLE HER!

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:08 AM+

MamanDaddyof2 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1769 WEDDING DATE: Mar 18, 2005

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:08 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

[
Um, well, at least she's promising you a guest list at SOME point

My FMIL keeps telling me not to invite their family because they won't come

What kind of sh!t is that?!!?!?!?!?!?!? Then she tells me, 'Oh, well, it's your wedding, invite who you want. It's not my place to tell you who to invite.' ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA STRANGLE HER!

EW why wouldnt they come??? What does FH say about that?

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:10 AM+

prncssrachel MEMBER SINCE: 2/03 TOTAL POSTS : 11213 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2005 WEDDING LOCATION: Stewart Manor Country Club

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:10 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

Posted by MamanDaddyof2

EW why wouldnt they come??? What does FH say about that?

He just said to forget trying to get the list from his mother and just go straight to his sister. His parents are not contributing ANYTHING AT ALL to our wedding, which is fine, but he seems to think they don't want to invite anyone because they're afraid they'll have to pay for their guests. She's just really weird. Beyond weird I should say.

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:13 AM+

FLaCaTaCa MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 5857 WEDDING DATE: Jan 13, 2007

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:13 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

I would be pissed too. Except not everyone is like us. Wanting to get stuff done on time or really early. I would like to send out my invitations now if I could. I am just obsessed like that!

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:15 AM+

MamanDaddyof2 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1769 WEDDING DATE: Mar 18, 2005

Posted: Jul 09, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: A little annoyed with FMIL, but should I be???

that is weird.....well good idea about going to his sister (thats what I always do) actually FH sister will be my moh and she is now my best friend She is my daughters godmother and I am her sons godmother
she just had another baby and I was in the delivery room and cut the chord
Sometimes FSIL can make the best of friends plus you get lots of info about FH family