An invite question that will make your head spin!

This is a long one (sorry). I have an interesting question. How do you ladies feel about inviting a married couple and you absolutely HATE the wife?

Here's the story as to why even I would use such strong language...

I never really liked her but I'll call her 'Nasty'. Nasty is married to my FH's childhood friend we'll call 'Underdog'. Well, Nasty is the type of woman who is VERY opinionated and is not open to those who disagree with her. Nasty and Underdog got married a few months ago and we never really saw a lot of them since I've been in the picture anyway - I've maybe had to tolerate them 3 or 4 times in 2 years. Underdog is a really, really nice guy! In the wedding program he made a special thank you to FH's parent's for being there for him and how he loved them like a second set of parents!

So, so far, no big deal, right. Well, around the time of their wedding FH and I got into a huge fight (this was months ago) and I stupidly threw my e-ring in his face and said some horrible things that I truly regret. Needless to say, FH decided to hold onto the jewelry for a bit to see if we can get through some issues mostly revolving around his ex who had been wreaking havoc and his son. Months later we had rebuilt and it was a matter of time before e-ring would be back on my little ring finger. In no time were doing great again (the power of love)! We had bought a house together months before the fight... please keep in mind that neither of us had move out of the house that both of our names are on during the rough times.

So a few months ago my FH's family threw my FFIL a surprise b-day party. FH and I were there and MY parents were there too (our family's get together with us regularly). Well, here's where the story gets interesting...

Nasty approached my FFIL and told him she'd love to set up FH with one of her friends!!!! My mother was within hearing range of this!!!! I thought it was INCREDIBLY disrespectful to me and even worse... to my family! She had no right to do such a thing. No one ever moved out, no formal announcement regarding the ending of the engagement had been made and by fact that we have the house, as far as my family is concerned that meant that the engagement was never completely broken (dollar for dollar a house is still worth more than most e-rings). My ring is beautiful and I did get it back 4th of July weekend... I whole heartedly regret the horrible things I said to FH, we did get engaged 5 months after we had met which with all the things we had going on may have been a bit premature for our situation... now it's been almost 2 years and despite all of our trials and tribulations we love eachother so much. I personally think we are stronger as a couple for having gone through a hard time. Sure being that he's a divorce and has a kid - that's rough, but the fight was about us, not about his past and we got through it. That makes me feel so good about us.

Now, I know that one day FH and I will have to finalize our invite list... I have a bad feeling this couple will be on the list. Now, the husband knows what his wife did and I have a hard time believing that he'd have the guts to show up at our wedding anyway, but I really don't want to see her face, and my mother... I cannot repeat on here what my mother said about her being at our wedding that my parent's are paying half for and we are paying the other half... FH's family - I am not expecting any contribution from. FFIL and I spoke about what Nasty did. He basically told me that they'd do anything for Underdog and they think Nasty is a piece of crap not worth getting upset about and in this family (the one I'm joining) we don't get upset about the stupidity of others - we're bigger than that. Basically, I'm supposed to get over it.

What would you guys do? Part of me thinks that if she actually showed up... nothing should give me greater vengence than making her watch me marry FH!

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

if i were you i would want her to be there and see you get married it would be shoving her stupid words in her face. but for an added bonus if you could get her alone maybe you could say something like i met this great girl the other day i think he would be great for your husband and just wink lol

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

Thats a tough situation. I would feel the same way as you do about Nasty. I would definately NOT want her there. But, since she is married to FH's best friend I don't think you have a choice here. If you invite him alone he probably wouldn't come right?

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

Wow women can be so tacky... My only thought when I was reading this was if Fh went to Underdog and Nasty after your fight and cried to them about what you had said about him and she was venting from what he had told them?

Either way that was wrong of her to do and I would find it very hard to have her at my wedding but I would try to just ignore her its your day and nobody will ruin that.. Be the bigger person for your FH and his family.. I know that suck but what else can you do?

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

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Posted by janwinterbridejoy

if you could get her alone maybe you could say something like i met this great girl the other day i think he would be great for your husband and just wink lol

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OMG YES!!!!!

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

yup, you have to invite them both. As Mr. and Mrs. Underdog.

You never know, maybe the Mr. will come and the Mrs. will stay home.

I can sympathize with how you feel. My DH's cousin did everything in her power to ruin my wedding, before, DURING, and after my wedding day. But you know what, in the end, everyone thinks that she's an *** and that I am a gracious and polite 'young lady'...

(if they only knew! )

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

That's really tough. I wonder how it would work out if you just invited 'underdog'

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

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Posted by janwinterbridejoy

if i were you i would want her to be there and see you get married it would be shoving her stupid words in her face. but for an added bonus if you could get her alone maybe you could say something like i met this great girl the other day i think he would be great for your husband and just wink lol

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WOW... that is EXACTLY what I will do! That is AWSOME!

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

I would say you have to invite them...as much as you DON'T want her to be there, I think the desire to have him there would be stronger.

Re: An invite question that will make your head spin!

You totally have a right to be angry. I think I can relate - I have to invite my FH's ex girl friends mother (an ex girlfriend who faked a pregnancy to stay with him) Why - because my FMIL doesn't want to hurt any ones feelings. (except mine I guess....) I'm being told to get over it - just like you. They say if it doesn't bother them, why should it bother me. Everyone knows I'm REALLY annoyed about it, but I realized that the one who ends up getting hurt is the FH - because he is in the middle. Your FH will be in the middle too - he is going to have to choose. I decided to pick my battles and give this one to the FIL's. But it gave me leverage for future arguments... like the guest list (which caused drama like you can't imagine) But honestly giving into this one, and standing my ground on other issues really made them... well.... shut up and stop bothering me. I don't know if that helps, but, Good luck!