Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

Okay so I have just told off FH's whole family and I am sure I they now hate me and won't come to my wedding! FH is super duper Republican.. .I hate politics and I guess I am independent. Problem is he is from the south and they all live and breath politics. I feel that in the end it doesn't matter whether you were republican or democrat, what matters is how you treated people. I preach tolerance and acceptance of different opinions to him all the time. Don't put someone down or make them feel stupid bc thier opinions are different. Well His mother sent me this awful horrible email about democrats (i guess she thought I was like her) with a link to her other sons website and to FH's. So I really laced into her and told her never to talk to me about politics again that I hate them and FH and I agreeded awhile ago to keep away from political conversations because we love each other too much to let it interfere.
Well if that wasn't bad enough I went on his bro's website (who I have never met) and couldn't believe what FH had posted about NY and about ME!!!!!!!! saying that bush's speech was so great it may have convinced his fiance to change her mind! SO I totally went off on him for like 1 hour and wrote a thing telling them all to open their eyes and realize that the whole country is not like the south. I went off about free speech and democracy and stuff. Knowing his families political opinions and past arguments with his dad's side of the family that were squashed just in time I think I should not have done that. I just can't sit by and let people treat other people like morons becuase they are different.
Anyway I know that they were all going to spend tons of $$ to come here.... I just think that they will hate me now. Was I wrong? Should I have just shut my mouth?

BTW I was so mad I took off my ring! I can't wait until nov. 3rd!!

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

thats a tough one and I feel for you... I, like you, have been brought up to be very tolerant of other people, their beliefs etc. Greg says stupid and ignorant stuff all the time which annoy me... I might not understand some people but I wont put them down because of their way of life... good luck with everything

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

I agree with Aga 100%. I have been brought up to accept people for who they are. I went to Catholic School and I always remember them telling us "Treat others as you would want to be treated" and thats pretty much how I live my life.
Everything will blow over, you are entitled to your opinion

Message edited 1/31/2005 2:11:09 PM.

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

hopefully now they wont try to force their opinions on you

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

thank you girls for making me feel better! I also went to catholic school and was brought up by the same principles... but they are supposed to be from the bible belt south! Oh well. Hopefully I didn't piss anyone off too much. I did tell me FH (on his brothers' website) that if he wanted to be in a "red" state ( i guess that means republican) that he should go back to Tennesse! whoops! The worst part is I don't hate bush or kerry. I am so in the middle I just hate intolerance!
Oh well
Hope I didn't do too much damage!

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

you cant be afraid of voicing your opinions, you have a right to think differently than they do... they will just have to learn to accept that you dont think like they do and it is ok (although it might be a little too late for his parents to change)

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

People who are TOO far to one side on ANYTHING are always the most judgemental people !! - My FMIL is Catholic (i'm catholic, my family is catholic) SHE is in church every week, FSIL in the choir blah blah. -
They are the MOST judgemental non tolerant people you could ever meet !!
And I always say to my FH their actions and behavior TOTALLY and completely contradict everything they're hearing in church and reading in the bible every sunday !! -
When she 1st met my sister, she came home to my FH and raved about how sweet and friendly and adorable she was blah blah -
Then one night she was ripping someone for having a tatoo .......so FH tells her that my sister has a HUGE tatoo on her back and a belly button ring, smokes etc. - (in the real world my sis is a normal 22 year old, in FMIL's world, she's suddenly a HORRIBLE person who is condemmed to hell)
you're not going to change their views, they're not going to change yours. - As long as YOU and your FH are ok w/ each other, it will be fine. and as far as opening your mouth, do it w/ discretion........and try not to do it ALL the time ......that way they can't say "oh she's always so argumentative"

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

I think that no matter what political views anyone may have, they have to RESPECT others opinion. It's like my mom says "don't step on my toes and I won't step on yours". FH and I don't agree on political views and we keep our families out of it.

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

what is nov 3rd? i believe people should keep politics and religion to themselves

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

November 3rd is the day after election day... after that FH can stop obsessing about the election.
Oh yeah (update)
FMIL emailed that maybe FH and I should seek premarital counsling. FYI.. I met her once, she hardly talks to her son, and the only thing she knows about us is that yesterday I said " Stephen and I don't discuss politics because we don't agree on them and it cuases fights. We decided that we love each other too much to let Bush/Kerry come between us!" That is all I said and apparently we need help! If I don't kill this woman I will be so lucky
She also went and bought a dress before I got Bm dresses. She emailed me 6 times in the first month we were engaged (got engaged end of this July) asking me to chose BM colors/dresses so she could get her dress. I told her I was really stressed out and didn't want to look at Bm dresses until mid Sept. But if she really needed to get a dress now she should just go get it. She writes back "don't worry i am losing weight and am going to wait to get a dress anyway" So i saw a dress i loved in light blue the next day. The day after that she calls Fh and says I got a dress in F&^$%ng periwinkle blue!!!! Why could she not just wait 1 more month... The wedding is in JULY!!!!!!! arg.... vent

Message edited 9/4/2004 6:48:08 PM.

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

Message edited 6/4/2006 8:02:05 PM.

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

I also can't wait for the election to be over!
I couldn't imagine having a political fight with any family members much less my fil.
Today though a woman went ballistic in my store and verbally attacked me about Republicans and politics all because a bunch of the sunglasses we sell have United We Stand labels on them. I couldn't believe it. She was loud and violent about it too. I wouldn't mind but my store is primarily a childrens store and I Never talk politics with strangers. Not to mention the fact that United We Stand is like the new country motto, nothing to do with any political party.
Good luck with the 'out-laws' (my co-worker calls them that )

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

---

Posted by SFP0214

November 3rd is the day after election day... after that FH can stop obsessing about the election.


DUH!!! Sorry I should have remembered that!

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

My FH and I have been asked by my father to refrain from talking politics around my family becasue of how ANGRY everyone gets.

We are democrats, they are adament repulicans (and Bush fans)

Honestly, I am always up for a good political debate, and like to see people get worked up. I respect their opinion, even though I don't agree with it. This is democracy. We are blessed in this country to be able to make choices and vote. But, my family takes it personally when you do not agree with them, and don't debate, but start screaming "You are completely wrong" and "Shut up" (Bill O'Reilly much?) They do not see my side as my opinion, buyt rather, as me making the "wrong" decision to be a democrat.

Some people don't know how to look at politics as a point of view. Same as religion. The closed minded will always believe that they are right, and because of this, I have stopped bringing it up around my family, and things are much more peaceful.

Re: Why can't I keep my big mouth shut? (long)

I don't think I would've been able to keep quiet about that either. FI and I just agree to disagree when it comes to politics. As for his family, I try to keep my mouth shut but when one of them says someone silly it's REALLY difficult not to give it to them (they're also the type of people who believe they're always right which makes arguing even more difficult!). However, FI and I have had some heated discussions about politics which is how we eventually came to the "agree to disagree" mode. Good luck with your future in-laws! And I'm sure they'll still come to the wedding!