I'm trying to be happy.

I can't get into doing anything. My brother committed suicide 5 months ago...(on the day of my engagement party) I am just so sad. I made all these appts. to look at dresses but I don't even want to go. I just can't get happy. Plus when I'm upset I eat....so you can just imagine the weight I've gained in these 5 months.....I just wish that I could muster up the strength to go and do this. I just feel too sad...and too fat.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

kath, im sorry for your loss. How devastating. Whatever you need, we are all here for you.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

So sorry to hear about your brother. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. Know that we are al here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers to find the strength to overcome your pain. (hope that didn't come out the wrong way)

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

That is a terrible tragedy and I am deeply deeply sorry for your loss. Maybe it would be helpful to talk to someone, like a grief counselor and help sort out your thoughts.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe you should try to talk to someone who will help you get through this.

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thank you so much. I am seeing a grief counsler actually....she just keeps telling me that all my feelings are normal. Guess that is good to know. thank you all for your kind words. it helps to hear them.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

I am so sorry... what a terrible thing to have to go through at any time in your life-- and especially terrible during a time that is supposed to be so happy and fun.

I would try to focus your energy into positive things.. Maybe work out your emotions at the gym, volunteer somewhere, try to focus on all the good in your life. I am sure your brother would have wanted you to do that.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

Kath, I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I know that there is nothing that anyone can say to make you feel better. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Suicide is so difficult for the family that is left behind. If you have not already, it may be worth looking into seeing a counselor as this is the most devastating thing that could happen to a family.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

i am sitting here staring blankly at the computer screen, because i'm not really sure of what to say. though i know how hard it is to lose a loved one, i can't imagine exactly what you are going through right now...

for what it's worth, i think you should take the time you need to mourn, and not rush the wedding planning process. wedding planning is supposed to be one of the best times of your life, but it seems like more of a burden than anything else for you right now. would postponing the wedding be an option?

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Posted by randella

I am so sorry... what a terrible thing to have to go through at any time in your life-- and especially terrible during a time that is supposed to be so happy and fun.

I would try to focus your energy into positive things.. Maybe work out your emotions at the gym, volunteer somewhere, try to focus on all the good in your life. I am sure your brother would have wanted you to do that.

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I have started to volunteer...it's funny that you said that.,,,I am doing it b/c my brother was always such a giving person. I feel like I have to keep that going. Thank you all for caring. I can really tell you do.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

oh my heart just hurts for you, I am so sorry. Your strength shows through, and your brother is with you.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

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Posted by alexlynn7



i am sitting here staring blankly at the computer screen, because i'm not really sure of what to say. though i know how hard it is to lose a loved one, i can't imagine exactly what you are going through right now...

for what it's worth, i think you should take the time you need to mourn, and not rush the wedding planning process. wedding planning is supposed to be one of the best times of your life, but it seems like more of a burden than anything else for you right now. would postponing the wedding be an option?

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I have thought about that..and have brought it up to my family. But everyone says I shouldn't cause 'We need the happiness' but I don't know. I feel like I am being swallowed...like I can't keep up. The moment I start to feel happy and want to do something I sink back down again. It is unexplainable. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this. And I feel terrible for my FH b/c I am not the same person and this is should have been happy for him too.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

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Posted by kath

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Posted by alexlynn7



i am sitting here staring blankly at the computer screen, because i'm not really sure of what to say. though i know how hard it is to lose a loved one, i can't imagine exactly what you are going through right now...

for what it's worth, i think you should take the time you need to mourn, and not rush the wedding planning process. wedding planning is supposed to be one of the best times of your life, but it seems like more of a burden than anything else for you right now. would postponing the wedding be an option?

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I have thought about that..and have brought it up to my family. But everyone says I shouldn't cause 'We need the happiness' but I don't know. I feel like I am being swallowed...like I can't keep up. The moment I start to feel happy and want to do something I sink back down again. It is unexplainable. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this. And I feel terrible for my FH b/c I am not the same person and this is should have been happy for him too.

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Your FH is there for you--- don't worry about that. Focus on you, and making you feel good again. He will be there to support you, as you will be for him. I am sure he knows what you are going through.

But- if you feel in your heart, that you should put off the wedding, then you should. Don't let your family talk you into it. It needs to feel right for you. Also- you still have a lot of time. Maybe you can take a break for a month or two. As long as you get some of the big things out of the way- everything else can wait.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

Your FH will always be there for you, as will your family and friends and the LIW family.

I cannot imagine what you are going through, but want you to know I will say some extra prayers for you, and hope that you find the strength to go on...the grieving process is a long one, and it sounds like you are doing things right.

I would think its normal for you to be feeling the way you do, and your FH loves you for you and knows that you re missing a part of yourself in the death of your brother.

Always here if you need to talk

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

I am so sorry.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

Your FH is there for you--- don't worry about that. Focus on you, and making you feel good again. He will be there to support you, as you will be for him. I am sure he knows what you are going through.

But- if you feel in your heart, that you should put off the wedding, then you should. Don't let your family talk you into it. It needs to feel right for you. Also- you still have a lot of time. Maybe you can take a break for a month or two. As long as you get some of the big things out of the way- everything else can wait.

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Do I really have time?....I've been putting this off since April and people keep telling me that i need to go look at dresses. How long does it usually take to order a dress?
Thank you everyone for all you caring words...it means so very much. I've never had strangers say such nice things to me.

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

My heart goes out to you. I can not imagine what you must be going through. All I can offer is to take things in your own time. Do not force yourself to do things if in your gut you do not feel ready. What you went through was traumatic......your FH loves you and will hang in there. There is so much pressure/expectation that this is supposed to be the 'best time of your life'....but sometimes life gets in the way and it can be very difficult. It will get better...it just has to happen in its own way.

I saw that you were getting married at PJCC and wanted to let you know...that I planned my wedding there in less than 5 months with no problem ( we had some family issues too during the course of our engagement)... so take your time and do not be too hard on yourself!! It is truly a beautiful place and you will have an amazing day....it will all come together.....the happy times will come just hang in there

Re: I'm trying to be happy.

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Posted by kath

Your FH is there for you--- don't worry about that. Focus on you, and making you feel good again. He will be there to support you, as you will be for him. I am sure he knows what you are going through.

But- if you feel in your heart, that you should put off the wedding, then you should. Don't let your family talk you into it. It needs to feel right for you. Also- you still have a lot of time. Maybe you can take a break for a month or two. As long as you get some of the big things out of the way- everything else can wait.

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Do I really have time?....I've been putting this off since April and people keep telling me that i need to go look at dresses. How long does it usually take to order a dress?
Thank you everyone for all you caring words...it means so very much. I've never had strangers say such nice things to me.

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I am getting married two months before you and I ordered my dress less than a month ago- and it should be in two months before my wedding. I think you can put it off for another month or so-- I also only looked for under a month0- I packed a couple of appts. into one day, etc.