Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

Okay, my reception starts at 8pm and I really want people to dress up. I'm thinking about wording the invite 'blacktie-optional' (i saw that on the knot), but my FH is saying he doesn't care. Basically, I want the affair to be elegant and I don't want people to show up looking like they are going to work (which I know some people in my family would probably do). Do you think it sounds snotty to say the black tie thing? DO you think people would get it that I want them to dress formal? Does anyone have any other suggestions on wording?

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I think for an evening wedding people should assume it's a formal affair and dress appropriately. -
I think that if your family and friends are accustomed to attending Black Tie affairs, and you yourself have been to them w/in your family it's fine. - I personally have a huge issue with someone who decides they want their wedding to be Black Tie and no one in their family has ever gone to a black tie event. - It's another huge expense for your family and friends to dress 'Black Tie' as opposed to formal for an evening wedding

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I wrote Black tie optional on my invite

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

Fh didn't want to put people out so we skipped the Black Tie thing, but I did want to make it clear that our reception was going to be dressy, so I put 'Formal reception immediately following ceremony' on my invites.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I think wording it 'Formal reception to follow' or something like that is tactful

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

We've been tossing this around too... we want everyone to be aware that this is a FORMAL affair but we don't want to put people out. We decided against the BLACK TIE but are considering the BLACK TIE OPTIONAL. Is that better? Or is it still too much? I don't know how to phrase the FORMAL ATTIRE one.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

We did black-tie optional. All it really means is dark suit for men and nice dress for women.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

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Posted by jen22

We did black-tie optional. All it really means is dark suit for men and nice dress for women.

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That's what I think but I am affraid to offend people.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

We wrote black tie requested so if they have a tux they will wear it

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

Maybe the Formal Attire wording is less offensive. I don't know if people will get the 'Black Tie Optional'. I like Formal Reception immediately following...

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

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Posted by hailey

We wrote black tie requested so if they have a tux they will wear it

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See I thought that meant that tux is required.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

we just had formal reception printed on the reception card! that way it gives people the option of black tie or not! no matter what i know it will be formal and dressy!

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

if it's really fancy shmansy i would put 'formal reception'... i didn't feel it necessary for us, our crowd knows our tastes and will dress accordingly.

anything referencing black tie i equate to inviting the very rich and/or famous, i'm probably in the minority though...

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I wrote 'black tie'. I believe that is customary.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

bump for pickles.

Hmmn, I think I will say the formal reception to follow.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

it depends on your crowd. I know there are some people in FH's family who would show up in casual attiee if we didn't tell them otherwise. FH was saying something about his mom wearing a cocktail dress and my jaw dropped. I want a very formal affair. i don't want to force people to spend a lot of money, but when else can you throw an elegant ball? I'm going probably write 'Black Tie Optional'. I personally lOVE black tie weddings. i think it's so fun to dress up and it makes is so much easier for me to fnd something to wear b/c I already have a few gowns from previous weddings and they're really classic and timeless so I don't have to run out and buy a new outfit, and it definitely makes it easier on the guys, if you have tux wear it, fi not, black suit..

ONE word of caution. I went to a black tie optional' wedding all the way in philly, got my hair down, trekked the goen, the shoes, the earrings with me, and then not even the immediate fmailies were in black tie..I was pretty pissed off. If you're going to say black tie or black tie optional, make sure your parents, brothers sister, aunts, uncles,bridal aprty, etc are in black tie. I was really annoyed that I had paid $70 to get my hair done and some of the rbidesmaids hadn't even done the same, and the immediate family wasnt even in black tie. That REALLY annoyed me

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I would be careful with putting black tie on the invite because it doesn't affect the women to much since we have to get a dress either way - maybe a long dress instead - but from what I understand and I went to a black tie wedding last Oct black tie meant that the men HAVE to be in a tux.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I've gotten many invitations that said 'black time optional.' It's a pretty common and traditional way of letting people know it's a formal affair and to wear a tux if they want. I once got an invite that said, 'black tie preferred'. I didn't really like that b/c it made me feel like if the guys didn't wear a tux they were disregarding the wishes of the bride and groom. I think optional is good b/c it let's people know that it's formal but still gives men the option of not wearing a tux if they don't have one and don't want to rent one.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I think that if you ONLY want people to be in very formal attire, you need to indicate it on the invite, b/c otherwise people will draw their own conclusions, which could be based on a combination of many things (including other people's weddings), and not necessarily on what they feel the bride and groom would want. (this is especially true for out of town guests- a lot of weddings outside of NY are not formal, don't forget)

We're deciding between black tie and black tie op.

Re: Formal Attire: Did you say it on the invite?

I think we're doing 'black tie invited.' It just sounds better to me than 'black tie optional' but I don't know why.