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Really need advice ...please help (little long sorry)
Charly Posted: Oct 21, 2004 11:58 AM+
Charly MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1801 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 11:58 AM bride-minus.png

Really need advice ...please help (little long sorry)

Thanks everyone!

I deleted it in case she sees..

Ok I'm going to call her now!!!

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randella Posted: Oct 21, 2004 12:06 PM+
randella MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4681 WEDDING DATE: Apr 16, 2005
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 12:06 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

so- she wants you to pay her portion of the hotel the night before?

How much would that set you back?

And how important is it to you for her to be there?
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MrsJ Posted: Oct 21, 2004 12:21 PM+
MrsJ MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2089 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 12:21 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)


Posted by randella

so- she wants you to pay her portion of the hotel the night before?

How much would that set you back?

And how important is it to you for her to be there?



And doesnt she have a credit card she can put the room on? Or someone she can share the room with?

I might tell her pick on - either I would pay for the makeup/hair or the hotel room. Not both. Thats not fair to you. Are you supposed to lend her $ for your gift too

It sounds like the is taking major advantage of you.
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Charly Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:01 PM+
Charly MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1801 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:01 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)


Posted by randella

so- she wants you to pay her portion of the hotel the night before?

How much would that set you back?

And how important is it to you for her to be there?



Yes she wants me to pay for her hair, make up and her portion of the hotel room. She said this is because she has to pay for her dress. She TOLD me she was my MOH - she TOLD me I had to pay for her hair and make or she wasn't doing it, now she just assumes I should pay for her room?

My engagement was over a year long...don't you think she could've saved for this over the last 14 months? I'm in SERIOUS debt...she's knows where my finances stand. I'm just appalled.

It was important at one point - but at this point she disgusts me. That's terrible
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randella Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:03 PM+
randella MEMBER SINCE: 8/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4681 WEDDING DATE: Apr 16, 2005
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:03 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)


Posted by Oct04Bride


Posted by randella

so- she wants you to pay her portion of the hotel the night before?

How much would that set you back?

And how important is it to you for her to be there?



Yes she wants me to pay for her hair, make up and her portion of the hotel room. She said this is because she has to pay for her dress. She TOLD me she was my MOH - she TOLD me I had to pay for her hair and make or she wasn't doing it, now she just assumes I should pay for her room?

My engagement was over a year long...don't you think she could've saved for this over the last 14 months? I'm in SERIOUS debt...she's knows where my finances stand. I'm just appalled.

It was important at one point - but at this point she disgusts me. That's terrible



Honestly, screw her.. You don't need that.
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Charly Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:03 PM+
Charly MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1801 WEDDING DATE: Nov 07, 2004
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:03 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)


Posted by kelleherkm


And doesnt she have a credit card she can put the room on? Or someone she can share the room with?

I might tell her pick on - either I would pay for the makeup/hair or the hotel room. Not both. Thats not fair to you. Are you supposed to lend her $ for your gift too

It sounds like the is taking major advantage of you.



I'm sure she has a credit card - with all of us sharing it would only be $65. So I don't see the problem. If I pay for her I feel I should pay for the entire room!
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slwh2005 Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:25 PM+
slwh2005 MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1912 WEDDING DATE: Oct 08, 2005
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:25 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

I would just tell her that there is no way you can afford to pay for all of this. If she knows your financial situation she should understand. That's really ridiculous! I feel bad for you that you have to deal with this now, so close to the wedding.
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Butterflybride Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:32 PM+
Butterflybride MEMBER SINCE: 7/04 TOTAL POSTS : 6745 WEDDING DATE: Jan 15, 2005
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 01:32 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

Honestly, that's completely unfair of her. She should understand your financial situation, she should take into consideration all that you've done for her, and she should realize she's just adding unnecessary stress for you. If she isn't aware of your financial situation, I think you should make her aware and then maybe she'll realize what she's asking of you. She may be thinking that $65 really isn't that much. But then again, if it wasn't that much, why can't she come up with it herself?
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MrsJ Posted: Oct 21, 2004 02:25 PM+
MrsJ MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2089 WEDDING DATE: Nov 27, 2004
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 02:25 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

tell her you're sorry but you can't afford to pay for everything for her. Gently remind her that you paid for everything on your own. Suggest using a credit card for her share or for her hair or makeup. Put your foot down because she is just taking advantage! That's a horrible thing to do!
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Katherine121 Posted: Oct 21, 2004 02:37 PM+
Katherine121 MEMBER SINCE: 10/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1859 WEDDING DATE: May 21, 2005
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 02:37 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

You need to gently remind this girl how you extended (and probably over-extended) yourself for her 5 years ago, and that you did it from your heart. Secondly, you need to advise her, like the other posts said, that you can do one or the other, and not both, given your financial situation.

Even if she agrees, I would seriously re-think my relationship with this person. I'm not saying cut her off, but how she's acting now is quite revealing of her character and her commitment towards YOU.
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LuckyMe Posted: Oct 21, 2004 03:10 PM+
LuckyMe MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2496 WEDDING DATE: Jun 01, 2008
Posted: Oct 21, 2004 03:10 PM bride-minus.png

Re: Really need advice re: MOH...please help (little long sorry)

Invite her over for lunch and be blunt. If you've been friends long enough to allow her to tell you she's your MOH then you should be close enough to say get a grip! Im sure you could find someone else to step up if she bows out of the wedding and honestly if she did that then she wasn't worth having as a friend. Don't be bullied through the most stressful and wonderful time of your life. Good Luck and Best Wishes.
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