FMIL issues (sorry....long)

Ok, FMIL is a little difficult to take...can anyone say control freak?????? Here's some background:

For the past month or so FH and I have been designing and printing out our STDs. I went online and bought pretty envelopes that went together perfectly. My only mistake was buying the pre-cut business sized magnet paper. Last weekend we sat in front of the computer and couldn't get them to come out right. FH said he'd fix it and figure something out. Tonight he shows me the 'fixed' magnet...ewww....he said he just didn't want to waste what we had already printed but if I didn't like them that was ok his mom would use them in her cards...

When I asked for clarification he informs me that instead of her giving me her list of people (that I have been asking for for the past month), she's just going to have FH print out some magnets and she'll put them in her x-mas cards.

Am I over-reacting here cause I'm pretty peeved. I have gone through all this work now she's sending out MY magnets, without the STD cards and without the pretty envelopes. Apparently FH doesn't see any problem with this and says I'm turning into a bridezilla. Any advice?

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

If the magnets are part of your STDs then they shouldn't be going out with anyone's Christmas cards. They're their own separate thing and should be mailed simply as STDs, not an add-on to a holiday card.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

I agree, STD's are their own thing, and you want them to be special.
Having a similar situation myself, anyone who isn't a bride really doesn't think they are such a big deal, and maybe we shouldn't either, but too bad, we do!
Especially when they are necessary!

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

no you are not a bridezilla. and don't let your fmil put the std's in the christmas cards. tell her you will find another way to make them and leave it at that.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

I agree, they should go out in their own special way, not as a christmas card!

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

All lists of people getting wedding correspondence should go through you. You should know exactly who is invited to your wedding, and you should control who gets announcements and when and how they get them. This Christmas card approach is either a way for her to procrastinate about finalizing her list (which would leave a considerable amount of wiggle room that could cause confusion/hurt feelings later), or it's just plain insensitive to the fact that you have put so much effort into creating this save the date package. Either way, you have every right to be frustrated.

ETA-- I don't think there's anything wrong with distributing save the dates in Christmas cards in theory, but it has to be your decision, not hers...

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

I don't see a problem with sending STDs with the Christmas Cards. I did it and I know 2 other brides that I got cards from did it.

I do think that they should come from you and your FH ....NOT your FMIL. Tell her thanks but no thanks!

Good Luck!

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

You are not overeacting. You're FMIL should not be sending anything out that's related to your wedding. Everything should go through you.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

---

Posted by JCMsGirl05

I don't see a problem with sending STDs with the Christmas Cards. I did it and I know 2 other brides that I got cards from did it.

I do think that they should come from you and your FH ....NOT your FMIL. Tell her thanks but no thanks!

Good Luck!

---

I agree with this. If they were going out in Christmas cards from you and your FH, it wouldn't be a big deal at all, but it's the fact that they would be going in her Christmas cards.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

I have a ton of patience, but this would really piss me off. I'd rather not send out any STDs at all, than let her decide unilaterally to do it her way. Geez, talk about a buttinski control freak!

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

---

Posted by nferrandi

If the magnets are part of your STDs then they shouldn't be going out with anyone's Christmas cards. They're their own separate thing and should be mailed simply as STDs, not an add-on to a holiday card.

---

I totally agree.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

---

Posted by charityhope

All lists of people getting wedding correspondence should go through you. You should know exactly who is invited to your wedding, and you should control who gets announcements and when and how they get them. This Christmas card approach is either a way for her to procrastinate about finalizing her list (which would leave a considerable amount of wiggle room that could cause confusion/hurt feelings later), or it's just plain insensitive to the fact that you have put so much effort into creating this save the date package. Either way, you have every right to be frustrated.

ETA-- I don't think there's anything wrong with distributing save the dates in Christmas cards in theory, but it has to be your decision, not hers...

---

Very well said. I agree but I also feel they should stand on their own, mailed separately.

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

She should have broached the subject with you and not assumed so you're not a bridezilla...

Re: FMIL issues (sorry....long)

Your FMIL is out of line. You are absolutely right. Save yourself some hassle and address this now, rather than when you ares ending out your wedding invitations.

I think that she needs to give you the list and that request needs to be made to her by your husband.